The one who got away called tonight

[inccwchris]

I had a scenario tonight that I wanted to share and get off my chest because it is bothering me really badly. I'll give you the background so you can know the emotional issues at hand here. A girl I have known literally since the cradle and her friend who I have known since preschool called me tonight. The one I have known my whole life is the one who got away. Her name is Sarah Shes blonde, slim waisted, toned, gifted in the chest, and gorgeous. I proposed to her in fourth grade. Obviously that did not work out so well lol. She has dated her share of weird guys and is dating a guy that seems alright. Except I can not stand him, for obvious reasons. The guy even freaking looks like me. We never dated, not for lack of effort on my part, but she told me she loved me once. Granted it was in eighth grade, but I could never get her to admit she said it later on. High school rolled around and we stayed friends, shared our emotional problems with each other. Thenschool ended, she went to collage and I tried to join the Marines. I still talked to her every other night, still had that deep emotional bond with her that I had all throughout our lives. I also drove up to her school to pick her and a friend of both of ours up from ball state. We drove back and I went and hung out with the blondes friend Liz, who is also my friend. Out of the blue, of a day of me acting normal, or what I thought was normal, Liz asked me why I was still in love with Sarah. That question floored me. I hadn't considered that there might still be something there until Liz said something. Then I met her 38 year old boyfriend. Mind you she was 20 at the time. He is nice as can be, polite, and courteous, but for some reason I don't trust him. Meeting him got me all kinds of jealous. I don'tknow why it took two people to snap that into my head, but it did. Had liz not said anything I would have been fine. I kind of flipped my lid for about a week or so and have not talked to her in almost 8 months. Until she called me tonight that is. I was playing SOCOM 4, enjoying myself, and she calls and next thing I know I am putting my pants on, strapping on my weapon and walking out the door with my coat on, breaking the three dont go stupid rules. I went to downtown Indy, the bar district, at 230 in the morning to pick up my drunk friend and her friend because her boyfriend, brother, and friend flaked on her. I then took her and her friend home, I did offer to take em to Denny's if they wanted to eat something, cause you all know after a rough night of drinking, nothing is better than pancakes. They declined, I took em home.

Because of how I was hurt by her in the past, I went into my officer vs. suspect mode with both of em. I growled literally the whole way back to her house and I don't know why. I was angry for a solid hour after I dropped them off and don't know why. Can someone please explain why after 8 months of not talking to someone who was only ever in my life as a close friend can suddenly swing me into the complete opposite mood? Or why after not speaking to her after 8 months, I do not even think about what I need, I get in my truck and go to her? I hate the fact that I may still have feelings for her. What do I do.


Then these questions enter my head.

After 8 months, what does it say that she still has my number in her phone?

Why would she call me instead of her parents or trying to wake her boyfriend up?

Why am I third on the call list, it goes Brother, Boyfriend, Chris. Why am I third and not like 10th?

Why now out of the eight months of not talking.

Why did I act like a complete jerk, other than the fact that I opened the door for them?

Why is it still bothering me?

Any help you all could provide would be appriciated. This isn't exactly self defense, so mods feel free to move it if need be.

 

[Bapak2ja]

Never mind.

 

[goinggreyfast]

We need to add a "Dr Phil Room" to this site.

 

[JohnP82]

Then these questions enter my head.

After 8 months, what does it say that she still has my number in her phone?
I have a couple numbers in my phone of people I haven't spoken to in at least a year.

Why would she call me instead of her parents or trying to wake her boyfriend up?

Personally, I would ask her that question.

Why am I third on the call list, it goes Brother, Boyfriend, Chris. Why am I third and not like 10th?

Again, I would ask her that question.

Why now out of the eight months of not talking.

And again, I would ask her that question.

Why did I act like a complete jerk, other than the fact that I opened the door for them?

We are guys, we don't know why we do half the things we do!
Why is it still bothering me?

Any help you all could provide would be appriciated. This isn't exactly self defense, so mods feel free to move it if need be.

It sounds to me like you need to be honest with her and tell her exaclty how you feel and about everything that is bothering you. If it can be worked out and the two of you can remain friends then good, if not, it may be time to just part ways.

I do not know either of you personally, so it is kind of hard to offer good advice. Communication is key though. Best of luck!

 

[Sirshredalot]

Why do people look for relationship advice on the internet?

God bless
-Shred

 

[goinggreyfast]

Why do people look for relationship advice on the internet?

God bless
-Shred

From a bunch of folks who like to shoot guns?

 

[hoosierdoc]

Another 23 more short posts and you're in the classifieds

Certainly love. you're mad because you feel used I'm guessing. Watch grumpy old men. Sometimes the geeky guy gets the hot chick in the end

 

[Fletch]

For some reason I was reminded of this:

(language warning)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeHlgzD1r7I

 

[Mr.JAG]

I NEVER delete numbers from my phone for one very basic reason: I need to know when I should hit "ignore" when the phone rings.

Not saying that's your situation, just saying that keeping a number means nothing so don't read into that.

 

[jkfletcher]

I can't answer all of the questions, but take this as you will(from my past personal experience):

She knows. She knows you love her. She doesn't care. She has your number in her phone in case she NEEDS something from you. And she called you at "random" this night because instead of messing around with everyone else trying to get a ride, she KNEW that you would drop what you were doing and come get her. Because she knows you love her. Even if you didn't tell her. She didn't call in the last 8 months because she didn't need anything that badly from you. Things like this will happen from time to time, seemingly at random until you either sack up and tell her how you feel, or you decide to be strong-willed enough to not answer her call. Change her contact info in your phone from Sarah to DO NOT ANSWER or similar. Take the energy you use on worrying over her and put it into something useful...like learning to shoot your gun(s) better or some other sort of training.

**I am not a licensed psychologist, I do not watch Oprah or Dr. Phil. I am, however, cynical of womens**

 

[geronimojoe85]

The one that got away? sounds more like the one you never got.

You're mad because she is using you, and she I'd going to continue using you until YOU tell her to stop, and set boundaries. Be prepared for her to get pissed at you at this point.

Could it also be that you're a little mad at yourself for wasting so much time on this chick? And think about it, who called who after high school? I'd be willing to bet you called her first. Did you come on too strong? Did you sound desperate?

Not trying to be a jerk, just calling what I see given the info provided and my gut feeling, belive me buster I've lived it.

 

[TREETOP]

Friend Zone. You're stuck in it.

 

[Leo]

I have seen this plenty in counseling. The woman is selfish. She wants you to "be there" to help her, knowing she can always exploit you at a moments notice, based on the emotional currency of your heart. It will NEVER change my friend. It is not a healthy relationship for you, and in effect, you are enabling her to remain unhealthy. It is not simply confusion, 6 weeks would be a time of confusion, not years. It is time for you to realize you have invested your most precious asset in a bad place. Cut you losses and gather whatever is left of your heart and put it on the back shelf. Invest yourself in new social circles while you heal. Once you have developed healthy friendships you will become stable enough to clearly think through a healthy relationship. Your sincerity will NEVER be enough to compensate for this current womans lack of truth and decency.
** I am licensed and my Masters Degree is in Psychology, my specialty is relationship counseling you are welcome to spend $75 per half hour, but I have given you the summery of facts and actions at the Christmas special price of free**

 

[mike4sigs]

she is your freind is the answer !
i would tell her your feelings and go for broke ! but prpare yourself for the down side !

 

[Steelman]

I hear the ladies go wild for proper paragraph spacing.


Three rules to follow:

1. If you're not first on her list - you might as well be last.

2. Don't try to start new relationships during the holidays. A lot of these stuck up broads get a case of the "lonelies" and start fishing with dynamite. After they've satisfied themselves with the fact that they could easily "get you" - they're back to chasing dbags in an instant.

3. PROFIT!

 

[rockhopper46038]

As stated, she called you because she knew you would drop everything to respond. You responded because you still think youre "in love" with her. Most telling sentence in your post is where her friend asked you "why are you still in love with her?". She didn't say "tell her you're in love with her", or "she has feeling for you, you know", or something like that. She asked "why are you still in love with her". Her friend knows the game the blonde is playing.

 

[Hoosier8]

Reminds me of my 40 year high school reunion. I was mad about Mary and as a geek in school, screwed up enough courage to ask her out, one of the bravest things I ever did. She turned me down as she was already dating someone else. Sigh.

Not seeing her for 40 years and going on towards 60, I hoped she would show up as I had always wondered how she had aged after all those years and 3 kids.

This guy walks in, obviously our age with this young chick (at this age 40 looks young) on his arm. She had long hair, great body, and gorgeous. Dang if it wasn't Mary. OMG she looked as good as she did when we were teenagers.

After I got home, I was angry for about 2 weeks because I was mad at myself for not trying harder all those years ago, lol.

 

[Delmar]

Tell her "I have enough friends. If you want a lover, give me a call" The down side of this strategy is that she might call you back. It sounds like she likes jerks.

 

[ThrottleJockey]

This thread has LOSE written all over it. Seek professional help. Lots of people will talk to Clergy about this sort of thing as they don't charge tons of money, specialize in these matters and won't testify in court later if things don't work out!

 

[Fishersjohn48]

Fail!!! You didn't tell us all about your weapon.