I managed to survive

[Reno316]

My first cheerleader competition.

Elder Spawn and Spawn the Younger are in cheerleading (competitive, not the pom pom/football game stuff) and I was informed by Wife.gov that I would be attending their competition today in Indy.

You can imagine my dismay when I discovered that they don't sell beer at such things.

I would also like it to be noted for the record that my daughters in cheerleader skirts, makeup, and so forth is one reason I'll be spending the next 10 years cleaning and reloading... cleaning and reloading... cleaning and reloading...

That is all.

 

[Benny]

I have a few friends on FB that have little girls in cheer. 6 year old girls parading around in mini-skirts with 10 lbs of makeup on their face. ****ing nauseating.

 

[GBuck]

Is this your daughter OP?

 

[hornadylnl]

They had high school volleyball on tv last night. All the girls had the tiny shorts on a and I asked my wife if there is any good reason for high school girls to be wearing shorts like that. I changed the channel. Felt like Chris Hansen was in the house.

 

[ghuns]

I feel your pain man. Mine was in the high school state final yesterday. I wish I could tell you it gets easier. It's more expensive and more dangerous than any other sports my kids have been in. Plus you get to see your sweet little girls dolled up like, well you know. I don't mind the cheerleading at games but the completion stuff is crazy. My daughter calls getting ready for a competition "getting whored up".
I do have to give the IHSAA credit, they are very strict on the outfits that the high school girls wear. Not like the independent cheer competitions where they dress 6 year olds like swimsuit models.

 

[Reno316]

I feel your pain man. Mine was in the high school state final yesterday. I wish I could tell you it gets easier. It's more expensive and more dangerous than any other sports my kids have been in. Plus you get to see your sweet little girls dolled up like, well you know. I don't mind the cheerleading at games but the completion stuff is crazy. My daughter calls getting ready for a competition "getting whored up".
I do have to give the IHSAA credit, they are very strict on the outfits that the high school girls wear. Not like the independent cheer competitions where they dress 6 year olds like swimsuit models.

Well, one thing I *do* like about our girls' coach is her ABSOLUTE insistence that the girls wear something modest. Skirts and tank top shirts. I can live with that. I saw girls today showing more skin than any 10 year old should, and some of them had more of a beer gut than I do... which is quite a feat, I should point out.

Makeup is kept to a minimum as well. Their coach has the mindset "You win by nailing your back flips and choreography and such, not by how much eye shadow they wear." I appreciate that attitude, and like the approach.

Still, my eldest daughter has pretty long legs, and she's going to be a looker in a couple years. I figure if I shoot the first boy and hang his rotting dead carcass from the street lamp, the word will get around.

Back to cleaning and reloading.

 

[GBuck]

They had high school volleyball on tv last night. All the girls had the tiny shorts on a and I asked my wife if there is any good reason for high school girls to be wearing shorts like that. I changed the channel. Felt like Chris Hansen was in the house.

I've always wondered this too. Even when I was in high school I felt like a creepster at the matches. Girls soccer players are HIGHLY athletic and wear looser fitting shorts and they don't get in the way. Why do volleyball shorts have to leave NOTHING to the imagination?

 

[dsol]

Still, my eldest daughter has pretty long legs, and she's going to be a looker in a couple years. I figure if I shoot the first boy and hang his rotting dead carcass from the street lamp, the word will get around.

Back to cleaning and reloading.

I have the same problem with my (almost) 16 yr old daughter. I was thinking of impaling the severed head of a boy or two on stakes as a warning to others.

 

[mcolford]

Still, my eldest daughter has pretty long legs, and she's going to be a looker in a couple years. I figure if I shoot the first boy and hang his rotting dead carcass from the street lamp, the word will get around.

Back to cleaning and reloading.

I feel your pain. My little girl is a blonde hair, blue eye skinny little thing... Fortunately I have about 8 years befopre "boyfriends" come into the picture...

Got to go look for more bullets so I can reload more..

 

[hornadylnl]

I've got a backhoe attachment for my tractor. I think I'm going to build a cheap one box and dig a 6' deep hole just big enough for the box and make her dates come out to the hole to meet me.

 

[GustavHalbach]

One tip I can offer. Let the boy visiting your house know your REALLY into guns. If you know when he'll be visiting, arrange to be OC in your house when he shows up. Also, make sure your cleaning something evil & black (ak, ar) during his visit.

Comments like "don't know what I'd do if someone hurt my little girl", also help.

I've practiced all these tactics and my little "daddy's girl" is only 11.

-G

 

[RedneckReject]

I have 2 girls at home who are much too young for any of this yet but I know time will fly. Dad and I have already had the discussion about what will happen when they get older. It's my opinion that he will most iikely have ALL of his guns out for cleaning/"display" the first time a boy comes over to our house. I'm sure he will also spout off some scary words such as "I shot a (insert object here) with this gun once. It pretty much exploded. I always wondered if a human head would do that too." It is also my opinion that said buy will wet himself upon entering our home, run away screaming like a little girl, and suffer nightmares for a few weeks. My daughters will be spinsters....

 

[Benny]

Is this your daughter OP?

Potato, potahto. Pageant girls are basically the same...Both are parading your 6+ year old daughters around like whores.

 

[GBuck]

Potato, potahto. Pageant girls are basically the same...Both are parading your 6+ year old daughters around like whores.

I've already repped you once today.. stop it.

 

[Reno316]

Comments like "don't know what I'd do if someone hurt my little girl", also help.

I've practiced all these tactics and my little "daddy's girl" is only 11.

Yeah, I've got my whole speech worked out... it involves a discussion about 200 acres, a backhoe, and being the brother in law to the county coroner...

 

[sepe]

What happened to teaching young women to respect themselves before going to some lame threatening speeches that never work anyway?

 

[ghuns]

What happened to teaching young women to respect themselves before going to some lame threatening speeches that never work anyway?

Oh, I do that too. The lame threatening speeches just make dads feel better.

 

[Reno316]

Oh, I do that too. The lame threatening speeches just make dads feel better.

What happened to people recognizing sarcasm?

 

[ghuns]

What happened to people recognizing sarcasm?

Gotta use purple, make it obvious.

 

[PeaShooter]

OP, I feel your pain. My 10 and 8 yr old are in competitive gymnastics. Just had a meet yesterday....