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  1. #1731
    Grandmaster Ericpwp's Avatar

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    “There is no such thing as public opinion. There is only published opinion.” Churchill

  2. #1732
    Grandmaster halfmileharry's Avatar

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    How to tell that you've grown up...
    All your house plants are alive and healthy and you can't smoke any of them.
    Having sex in a twin bed is hard work.
    You keep more food in the fridge than beer.
    You get up at 6:00am instead of going to bed.
    You hear your favorite songs in an elevator.
    You watch the Weather Channel.
    Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
    You cut your vacation time from 150 days to 7.
    Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up"
    Older relatives are comfortable telling dirty jokes around you.
    You're the azzhat calling the cops 'cause the little )*^%(*$ SOBs next door won't turn down the stereo.
    You have no clue to what time Taco Bell closes.
    Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
    You feed your dog actual dog food instead of fast food left overs.
    Sleeping on the couch hurts your back.
    You take naps.
    Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of just the start of one.
    Eating a basket of hot wings at 3:00am would tear up your stomach instead of settling it down.
    You go to the drug store for antacids and ibuprofen instead of condoms and pregnancy tests.
    A $4 bottle of wine no longer qualifies as "pretty good ****"
    You eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
    I just can't drink the way I used to replaces... "I'm never going to drink again"
    90% of your time in front of the computer is for work.
    You drink at home to save money instead of going to a bar.
    You read this entire list desperately looking for one sign that does't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass. Then you send this to a bunch of old friends you know will understand it.
    The more you sweat in training the less you bleed in battle.

  3. #1733
    Master JollyMon's Avatar

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    What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea?

    I wouldn't pay 20 dollars for a garbanzo bean on my chest.
    Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.

    Quote Originally Posted by GPIA7R View Post
    And if it could explode in the general direction of my mouth, that'd be even better.
    Quote Originally Posted by indiucky View Post
    But to be fair to me the cock was in the down position....

  4. #1734
    Grandmaster actaeon277's Avatar

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    "Una salus victis nullam sperare salutem."

    “We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” -Plato

    "A citizen may not be required to offer a 'good and substantial reason' why he should be permitted to exercise his rights. The rights existence is all the reason he needs." Benson Everett Legg - Woolard v. Sheridan

    If you're a noob, develop thick skin, and read the FAQs


  5. #1735
    Grandmaster jamil's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by actaeon277 View Post
    That's because there's no Kindergarten in the Star Wars Universe. People would also know how to google turning on the headlights of any rental car if we would just get rid of Kindergarten.

  6. #1736
    Master Lebowski's Avatar

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    My joke of the day:


    Antifa.


  7. #1737
    Master AmmoManAaron's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lebowski View Post
    My joke of the day:


    Antifa.
    Their ideology may be a joke, but never underestimate your enemy. Their kind killed millions of people in the 20th century, usually their fellow countrymen.
    "2016: The year that hackers became more trusted than government or reporters."

  8. #1738
    Grandmaster actaeon277's Avatar

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    "Una salus victis nullam sperare salutem."

    “We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” -Plato

    "A citizen may not be required to offer a 'good and substantial reason' why he should be permitted to exercise his rights. The rights existence is all the reason he needs." Benson Everett Legg - Woolard v. Sheridan

    If you're a noob, develop thick skin, and read the FAQs


  9. #1739
    Master daddyusmaximus's Avatar

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    More often than not, when someone is telling me a story, all I can think about is how I can’t wait for them to finish.


    Then I can tell my own story, which not only is better, but also more directly involves me.
    You know what I like best about most people? Their dogs.

  10. #1740
    The BOFH GPIA7R's Avatar

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    A woman is accused of beating her husband half to death with his guitar collection.

    The judge looks down at her and asks, "First offender?"

    The woman replies, "nope, first a Martin, then a Gibson, then a Fender."

    All the young dudes....

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