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  1. #1741
    Grandmaster halfmileharry's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by GPIA7R View Post
    A woman is accused of beating her husband half to death with his guitar collection.

    The judge looks down at her and asks, "First offender?"

    The woman replies, "nope, first a Martin, then a Gibson, then a Fender."
    As soon as I read the first sentence I thought this was turning into an Irsay/Colts thread.
    The more you sweat in training the less you bleed in battle.

  2. #1742
    The BOFH GPIA7R's Avatar

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    Two deer walk out of a gay bar.

    One turns to the other and says, "Man, I can't believe I just blew 30 bucks in there."










    get it?

    because the drinks are expensive.

    Surprised they made it out alive. Those kinds of bars tend to attract bears.
    All the young dudes....

  3. #1743
    Master AmmoManAaron's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by GPIA7R View Post
    Two deer walk out of a gay bar.

    One turns to the other and says, "Man, I can't believe I just blew 30 bucks in there."










    get it?

    because the drinks are expensive.

    Surprised they made it out alive. Those kinds of bars tend to attract bears.
    "2016: The year that hackers became more trusted than government or reporters."

  4. #1744
    Grandmaster actaeon277's Avatar

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    "Una salus victis nullam sperare salutem."

    “We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” -Plato

    "A citizen may not be required to offer a 'good and substantial reason' why he should be permitted to exercise his rights. The rights existence is all the reason he needs." Benson Everett Legg - Woolard v. Sheridan

    If you're a noob, develop thick skin, and read the FAQs


  5. #1745
    Sharpshooter EPeter213's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by actaeon277 View Post
    I admit it.. I groaned.
    Praise the Lord, and pass the ammunition!

  6. #1746
    Semi-Moderator
    Bigtanker's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by EPeter213 View Post
    I admit it.. I groaned.
    Right. The title doesn't say "funny" Joke of the Day.


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  7. #1747
    Grandmaster actaeon277's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by EPeter213 View Post
    I admit it.. I groaned.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bigtanker View Post
    Right. The title doesn't say "funny" Joke of the Day.
    I suddenly have the urge to post more of them now.
    "Una salus victis nullam sperare salutem."

    “We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” -Plato

    "A citizen may not be required to offer a 'good and substantial reason' why he should be permitted to exercise his rights. The rights existence is all the reason he needs." Benson Everett Legg - Woolard v. Sheridan

    If you're a noob, develop thick skin, and read the FAQs


  8. #1748
    The BOFH GPIA7R's Avatar

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    Classic, with many variations.


    A backpacker is traveling through Ireland when it starts to rain. He decides to wait out the storm in a nearby pub. The only other person at the bar is an older man staring at his drink. After a few moments of silence the man turns to the backpacker and says in a thick Irish accent:

    "You see this bar? I built this bar with my own bare hands. I cut down every tree and made the lumber myself. I toiled away through the wind and cold, but do they call me McGreggor the bar builder? No."

    He continued "Do you see that stone wall out there? I built that wall with my own bare hands. I found every stone and placed them just right through the rain and the mud, but do they call me McGreggor the wall builder? No."

    "Do ya see that pier out there on the lake? I built that pier with my own bare hands, driving each piling deep into ground so that it would last a lifetime. Do they call me McGreggor the pier builder? No."

    "But ya **** one goat.."
    All the young dudes....

  9. #1749
    Grandmaster actaeon277's Avatar

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    "Una salus victis nullam sperare salutem."

    “We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” -Plato

    "A citizen may not be required to offer a 'good and substantial reason' why he should be permitted to exercise his rights. The rights existence is all the reason he needs." Benson Everett Legg - Woolard v. Sheridan

    If you're a noob, develop thick skin, and read the FAQs


  10. #1750
    Master spencer rifle's Avatar

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    They also have some nasty gunboats:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nasty-type_patrol_boat

    Rights are only as secure as the ability to wield sufficient force to defend them. - J. Neil Schulman

    “There's nothing wrong with the country a bad recession couldn't fix.” - Irving Kristol

    "He's not a tame lion..."

    1 Samuel 13:19

    Psalm 149:6

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