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  1. #2161
    Master spencer rifle's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by actaeon277 View Post
    I didn't.
    I typed in bastard, and let the filter do its thing. Which apparently was... nothing.
    Maybe it's in a file with other words that don't get filtered because they can be used legitimately elsewhere.
    The Bastard File.
    Rights are only as secure as the ability to wield sufficient force to defend them. - J. Neil Schulman

    “There's nothing wrong with the country a bad recession couldn't fix.” - Irving Kristol

    "He's not a tame lion..."

    1 Samuel 13:19

    Psalm 149:6

  2. #2162
    Master Doug's Avatar

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    ​I didn't know files had parents, let alone that the parents could be unmarried.
    The wild dogs cry out in the night as they grow restless, longing for some solitary company.

  3. #2163
    Master Doug's Avatar

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    The Zen Buddhist Monk was chanting:

    "If you're enlightened and you know it, clap one hand."
    The wild dogs cry out in the night as they grow restless, longing for some solitary company.

  4. #2164
    Certified Bro Shark Ballstater98's Avatar

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    I've learned two very important lessons in my life. I can't recall the first one, but the second one is that I need to start writing things down.
    Lifetime LTCH; Lifetime NRA Member; Maker's Mark Ambassador #780040; GOA Member #23463299

  5. #2165
    Plinker

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    I'm sure this is a repeat but timely

    I was eating breakfast with my 10-year-old Granddaughter and I asked her,
    "What day is tomorrow?"

    Without skipping a beat she said, "It's Presidents Day!"

    She's smart, so I asked her "What does Presidents Day mean?"

    I was waiting for something about Washington or Lincoln, etc....

    She replied, "Presidents Day is when the President steps out of the
    White House, And if he sees his shadow, we have another year of bullcrap!"
    I used to recruit for the NRA until they sold us down the river in Heller v. DC

  6. #2166
    Master daddyusmaximus's Avatar

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    A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day.
    Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers,he dialed the employee's cell phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.
    "Hello."
    "Is your daddy home?" he asked.
    "Yes," whispered the small voice.
    "May I talk with him?"
    The child whispered, "No."

    Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"
    "Yes," whispered the small voice.
    "May I talk with her?"
    Again the small voice whispered, "No."

    Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"
    "Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman"

    Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
    "No, he's busy", whispered the child.
    "Busy doing what?"
    "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," the whisper answered.

    Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
    "A helicopter." answered the whispering voice.
    "What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

    Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed the helicopter."
    Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"
    Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle. "ME.!!
    You know what I like best about most people? Their dogs.

  7. #2167
    Master daddyusmaximus's Avatar

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    I just ate salad for lunch!




    Mostly croutons & tomatoes.




    Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce, and cheese.




    Fine, it was a pizza. OK, I ate a pizza!
    You know what I like best about most people? Their dogs.

  8. #2168
    Grandmaster actaeon277's Avatar

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    Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?”
    The mother replied, ‘Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.’
    The child thought about this for a moment then said, “So why is the groom wearing black?”
    "Una salus victis nullam sperare salutem."

    "A citizen may not be required to offer a 'good and substantial reason' why he should be permitted to exercise his rights. The rights existence is all the reason he needs." Benson Everett Legg - Woolard v. Sheridan

    If you're a noob, develop thick skin, and read the FAQs

    Actaeon - act'-tee-on
    The death of Actaeon - http://www.paleothea.com/Myths/Actaeon.html


  9. #2169
    Grandmaster actaeon277's Avatar

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    A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to ‘Honor thy father and thy mother,’ she asked, ‘Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?’
    Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, ‘Thou shall not kill..’
    "Una salus victis nullam sperare salutem."

    "A citizen may not be required to offer a 'good and substantial reason' why he should be permitted to exercise his rights. The rights existence is all the reason he needs." Benson Everett Legg - Woolard v. Sheridan

    If you're a noob, develop thick skin, and read the FAQs

    Actaeon - act'-tee-on
    The death of Actaeon - http://www.paleothea.com/Myths/Actaeon.html


  10. #2170
    Grandmaster actaeon277's Avatar

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    funny but true

    "Una salus victis nullam sperare salutem."

    "A citizen may not be required to offer a 'good and substantial reason' why he should be permitted to exercise his rights. The rights existence is all the reason he needs." Benson Everett Legg - Woolard v. Sheridan

    If you're a noob, develop thick skin, and read the FAQs

    Actaeon - act'-tee-on
    The death of Actaeon - http://www.paleothea.com/Myths/Actaeon.html


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