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  1. #2241
    Semi-Moderator
    Bigtanker's Avatar

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    THE HUSBAND STORE

    A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

    You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

    So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband...

    On each floor the signs on the doors read:

    Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

    Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

    Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

    Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

    Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

    Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,261,496,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.


    THE WIFE STORE

    Floor 1 - has wives that love sex.

    Floor 2 - has wives that love sex and have money.

    The third through sixth floors have never been visited.


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    # 22951

  2. #2242
    Cogito, ergo porto.
    Bill of Rights's Avatar

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    Wait, what about the women who are married to other women? Are they impossible to please, or just impossible for men to please?



    The wealthy, young, lesbian couple who live next door to me are both gorgeous and so kind and generous... My last birthday, they gave me a Tag Heuer!

    In fairness, they may have misunderstood when they asked me what I wanted, and I said:

    "I wanna watch."


    Blessings,
    Bill


    Quote Originally Posted by Bigtanker View Post
    THE HUSBAND STORE

    A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

    You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

    So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband...

    On each floor the signs on the doors read:

    Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

    Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

    Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

    Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

    Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

    Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,261,496,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.


    THE WIFE STORE

    Floor 1 - has wives that love sex.

    Floor 2 - has wives that love sex and have money.

    The third through sixth floors have never been visited.

    Thanks for your help in keeping this a great forum!
    Forum Rules#######Classifieds Rules##############?!?! wait...what?

  3. #2243
    Master spencer rifle's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bill of Rights View Post
    Wait, what about the women who are married to other women? Are they impossible to please, or just impossible for men to please?



    The wealthy, young, lesbian couple who live next door to me are both gorgeous and so kind and generous... My last birthday, they gave me a Tag Heuer!

    In fairness, they may have misunderstood when they asked me what I wanted, and I said:

    "I wanna watch."


    Blessings,
    Bill
    Rights are only as secure as the ability to wield sufficient force to defend them. - J. Neil Schulman

    “There's nothing wrong with the country a bad recession couldn't fix.” - Irving Kristol

    "He's not a tame lion..."

    1 Samuel 13:19

    Psalm 149:6

  4. #2244
    Master daddyusmaximus's Avatar

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    I just answered a call on my cell phone from a number I didn't recognize.


    It turns out it was Robert Mueller's office.



    According to them they have lost his credibility and are asking anybody and everybody if they know where it might be.
    You know what I like best about most people? Their dogs.

  5. #2245
    The BOFH GPIA7R's Avatar

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    I asked 100 women which shampoo they preferred.





    Almost all of them responded "How did you get in here?"
    Let that be my contrarian reply...

  6. #2246
    Grandmaster actaeon277's Avatar

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    Almost all?
    "Una salus victis nullam sperare salutem."

    "A citizen may not be required to offer a 'good and substantial reason' why he should be permitted to exercise his rights. The rights existence is all the reason he needs." Benson Everett Legg - Woolard v. Sheridan

    If you're a noob, develop thick skin, and read the FAQs

    Actaeon - act'-tee-on
    The death of Actaeon - http://www.paleothea.com/Myths/Actaeon.html


  7. #2247
    Master daddyusmaximus's Avatar

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    I wonder how many mosquitoes are having to deal with meth addiction right now?
    You know what I like best about most people? Their dogs.

  8. #2248
    Master daddyusmaximus's Avatar

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    You know what I like best about most people? Their dogs.

  9. #2249
    Grandmaster Cameramonkey's Avatar

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    An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguan, an Apache, an Argentinean, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Cherokee, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Cree, a Croat, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dakota, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutch, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Englishman, an Equatoguinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadan, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, an Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kosovar, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Lakota, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monegasque, a Mongolian, a Montenegrin, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Myanmarese, a Namibian, a Navajo, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Ni-Vanuatu, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Sammarinese, a Samoan, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scot, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Tadzhik, a Taiwanese, a Tanzanian, a Tobagonian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian, a Tunisian, a Turk, a Turkmen, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, an Uruguayan, an Uzbek, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemeni, a Zambian, and a Zimbabwean walk into a swanky high class restaurant.


    The maitre d’ apologizes, “Sorry guys, but I can’t let you in without a Thai.”
    Last edited by Cameramonkey; 3 Days Ago at 22:36.
    Quote Originally Posted by Kirk Freeman View Post
    A confused cop is an arresty cop.
    Quote Originally Posted by hoosierdoc View Post
    also, where do we sign up to touch Frank's equipment?

  10. #2250
    Grandmaster jamil's Avatar

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    I hope you copy/pasted that.
    -spreading the word to end the r-word is retarded
    -activism is retarded because, what if you’re full of ****?

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