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Thread: INGO: Joke of the day page

  1. #2401
    Certified Bro Shark Ballstater98's Avatar

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    3.14% of sailors are Pi Rates.
    Lifetime LTCH; Lifetime NRA Member; Maker's Mark Ambassador #780040; GOA Member #23463299

  2. #2402
    Certified Bro Shark Ballstater98's Avatar

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    How many bricks does it take to complete a brick building?

    Lifetime LTCH; Lifetime NRA Member; Maker's Mark Ambassador #780040; GOA Member #23463299

  3. #2403
    Expert eric001's Avatar

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    A day or so after eating corn on the cob...

    Should you be making corny jokes about crap,

    or crappy jokes about corn?

    Either way, it should all work out in the end.

  4. #2404
    Grandmaster Doug's Avatar

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    I tried to be a wizard, but I couldn't spell.
    It is better to do good than not to do bad.

  5. #2405
    aka: Vinny rkwhyte2's Avatar

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    Three scotswomen are walking home at night (they are neighbors) and find a scotsman passed out partially under a wagon. His upper body is under the wagon and they can’t see who he is; however, they would like to help him get home. The first woman looks under his kilt and says, “It’s not my husband”. The second woman looks under his kilt and says, It’s not my husband”. The third woman looks under his kilt and says, “Why he’s not even from our village!”
    Quote Originally Posted by churchmouse View Post
    Well....uh.......I got nothing man.
    Quote Originally Posted by BehindBlueI's View Post
    This guy went full Brussel Sprouts.

    The Constitution: It doesn’t need to be rewritten; it needs to be reread.
    INGO # 23,621

  6. #2406
    DCR is online now

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    Quote Originally Posted by rkwhyte2 View Post
    .....“Why he’s not even from our village!”
    My 85 yo MIL gave that one a long hearty guffaw and cackle

  7. #2407
    Certified Bro Shark Ballstater98's Avatar

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    Lifetime LTCH; Lifetime NRA Member; Maker's Mark Ambassador #780040; GOA Member #23463299

  8. #2408
    Cogito, ergo porto.
    Bill of Rights's Avatar

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    I got a sweater for Christmas one year.

    i would have preferred a moaner or a screamer..... but I got a sweater.

    Thanks for your help in keeping this a great forum!
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  9. #2409
    Grandmaster MCgrease08's Avatar

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    There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM.

    The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.

    The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the two men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's.

    She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to sew the little package between Elmo's legs.

    The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena. "I'm sorry" he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday. Your job is to give Elmo two TEST tickles."
    Well, I ain't always right but I've never been wrong,
    seldom turns out the way it does in a song.
    Once in a while you get shown the light
    in the strangest of places if you look at it right.

  10. #2410
    Grandmaster actaeon277's Avatar

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    Una salus victis nullam sperare salute.
    The only hope for the doomed, is no hope at all

    I wish to have no connection with any ship that does not sail fast;
    for I intend to go in harm's way.
    John Paul Jones

    A citizen may not be required to offer a 'good and substantial reason' why he should be permitted to exercise his rights. The rights existence is all the reason he needs.
    Benson Everett Legg - Woolard v. Sheridan

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