Anyone ever made contact with sibling put up for adoption?

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  • ryanmercer

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    So tomorrow I get the information for my oldest half-brother. He was put up for adoption by my grandparents when he was born because my mom was a minor and that's just how it was back then. Friday we found out that he very much wants to make contact but there wasn't a judge available to sign the release... so we find out Monday morning. We do know that he was in the navy and tried to find us (but mom was married twice since then and hasn't looked for him until the past few months) but couldn't... so at least I know he's going to be happy to know us.


    So, anyone else ever gone through something like this? I'm anxious, nervous, happy, hoping like hell I haven't slept with any potential half-nieces I might have etc (he's at least 15 years older than me). Hopefully he's pro-2a otherwise I might have to shun him hahahaha.
     

    mcolford

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    .....
    My little brother (adopted) met his biological family earlier in life (he was 7 or 8 I believe)... He maintains contact with them (16 now). Actually, his half sister, of whom was also adopted at birth by a different (his biological mom had another baby) was the little girl that was stabbed by her brother in Monticello. My parents are friends with that family as well (I know, sounds like a weird situation). So I guess it isnt entirely the same, but I think its healthy for sure, not only for your peace of mind, but you can get a better understanding of family health as time goes on (knowing who if anyone has any health conditions and soforth).

    Best of luck to you! Praying it goes well, but from the sounds of it, all parties are excited!
     

    D-Ric902

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    I hope it goes well for you
    My little girl that we adopted at 4 years old has two half brothers, one of which she doesn't know. No one knows who her bio father is and the bio mom is a train wreck.
    So I may see this situation.
     

    flatlander

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    Careful what you wish for. It doesn't always turn out well. Was given up at birth and have only occasionally considered looking for anybody. Grew up in the foster system for most of my life and turned out ok so why push it?

    Bob
     

    Mr Evilwrench

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    Sounds like you have a good situation there, both parties want in and all. I hope it goes well for you, sounds like it should.

    Both of my nieces were adopted at birth. They're in their 20s now. Both have met their birth families and maintain contact. One's mother is an artist, and my niece kind of flaked out (a little more) after meeting her, but they're both pretty well adjusted. In fact, the second one's birth parents were at her wedding last summer. Of course, that's all a different situation.

    My son has a half brother that we've seen only once since their mother died, and that was at their grandfather's funeral, so no meaningful contact. I don't badmouth the kid to him, just don't remind him at all, but I never liked him and I can't imagine how he's turned out as a two time loser in the genetic lottery, plus growing up with his father. Once he's an adult, my son might decide to try to find him, but that's his business by then.
     

    LoriW

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    I have an older half-brother that my dad never acknowledged the whole time I was growing up. Within the last year though my half-brother found my dad and established contact. My dad told me he only told his son that he had a son and a daughter but nothing else about us. I reached out to my sister-in-law through Facebook but it's still a strange situation. I still haven't had any contact with my brother at all. He looks so much like my younger brother it's weird and his daughter (my niece) looks a lot like me at that age. I'm just trying to not push them for more then they're apparently willing to offer.

    Take it slow and see how it goes
     

    stephen87

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    Best of luck to you. A good friend of mine recently made contact with her younger brother who was given up. According to her, they were polar opposites, so get ready to shun him. lol jk
     

    MrsGungho

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    It can go either way. The fact that both are ready to meet makes chances of a relationship more likely.
    My sister was given up at birth. I didn't know she existed until I was 24 years old. I won't say how many years we've had together, but we have watched each others children grow up. She's watched me become a grandma and we see or talk to each other several times a week, I know mine is one of the happy endings and I am grateful

    I don't have a lot of advice other than to remember, he's nervous too.
     

    Indy_Guy_77

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    Not quite the same scenario, but I often wonder how many half-siblings I have in England. My dad was stationed there in the AF when he was in his very early 20's.

    He assures me there aren't any - not sure that I wholly believe him.
     

    ryanmercer

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    Not quite the same scenario, but I often wonder how many half-siblings I have in England. My dad was stationed there in the AF when he was in his very early 20's.

    He assures me there aren't any - not sure that I wholly believe him.


    heh that reminds me of that episode of the Simpsons, and that episode of King of the Hill
     

    Dj15802

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    My wife is adopted and has the whole line of emotions as to look or not look. All she knows is that her mother was from Germany and her father was from Indy. Her mom put her up for adoption and after the fact her biological father found out about her and wanted her. But that was in the 60's and apparently he had no rights then. She would like to find him but would have To go through her biological mother by finding her first. She loves her adopted mother and has no desire to contact her biological mother.
    She knows she has siblings in Germany from what her adopted mother learned prior to adopting. She wonders.......
    Any ideas ?
     

    ryanmercer

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    My wife is adopted and has the whole line of emotions as to look or not look. All she knows is that her mother was from Germany and her father was from Indy. Her mom put her up for adoption and after the fact her biological father found out about her and wanted her. But that was in the 60's and apparently he had no rights then. She would like to find him but would have To go through her biological mother by finding her first. She loves her adopted mother and has no desire to contact her biological mother.
    She knows she has siblings in Germany from what her adopted mother learned prior to adopting. She wonders.......
    Any ideas ?

    Was she born in the states? If so find out what county/city and contact family services and hope the father's name is on the birth certificate. Then go through the steps my mom did and they'll try and contact the father if they can and see if he wants his information shared then a judge has to release it.
     

    ryanmercer

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    Sharing some of the same DNA as another person doesn't make you "family". I'd leave it alone.

    Who are you saying that to? Me or the other poster? I just met my brother tonight after talking to him via iChat and FB all week. It was like we'd always known each other and everyone else in the family just stared at us while we were off in our own little world going on and on about all of our favorite things which 95% of were identical. I'm glad to have him in our lives, he's awesome.

    Plus he was a submariner for 2 years and later took an AK round on a humanitarian mission in Kosovo. The scar is wicked and I verified all of that independently tracking down former shipmates of his this week.

    Us reconnecting with him is hands down the best thing to ever happen in my life.
     
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