Feel good story from Lafayette

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  • T.Lex

    Grandmaster
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    Mar 30, 2011
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    So I got a call from a distant cousin. (As the lawyer in the family, that happens quite a bit.) He and his girlfriend were having a rough go in Indy, so packed their 90s Grand Cherokee with about 200k miles on it and headed to Lafayette earlier this year. Apparently, they are already having issues.

    My cousin's girlfriend got a job at a Walmart up there with benefits. First time in a long time. He's got some vision issues, so he was hoping to get glasses or contacts so he could work. She drove them both to her job, but he had to take a cab to the optometrist because of the dilation drops they give.

    Anyway, he took the cab back to Walmart, and instead of going in, he decided to go wait in their Jeep. They never lock the doors because its pretty much a beater.

    So as he walks to the car - straining in the sunlight with his eyes dilated, he probably walked 100 yds around the parking lot to get 40 - he notices there's a guy hiding next to it. It freaks him out a bit. He had a comb in his back pocket and he said he kinda held it in his hand backwards to make it look like he had a knife - just in case this guy was going to mug him.

    He starts walking around to make sure the guy knows he's there, and to make sure the guy KNOWS that he knows the guy is there. Guy must've been high or something because he starts giggling like its some kind of game as they run around the Jeep.

    The guy asks my cousin if he can help him find a party, like in a real nasally, sing-song kind of voice. My cousin's not down with that, and is having to blink hard to even really focus on the guy. My cousin says he's new to the town and doesn't know anyone. Dudley McGiggily says he doesn't know anyone either, that's why he was asking, then yells at some lady to take their picture and starts to come toward him like for a hug.

    At this point, my cousin decides to just go into the Walmart to find his girlfriend. Figured that was safer.

    Today, some police department calls him and wants him to come down. Despite me telling every family member who will listen not to talk to police without an attorney, he takes another cab down there.

    Turns out, they asked him questions about his background (he was in the Army reserves in his 20s) and the events in the parking lot. They actually hired him to work civilian security for a county courtroom. Shouldn't be a bad gig, I guess its empty most of the time. He'll get 12 hours of training, including 3 hours of firearms training, and have a department-issued Glock. He drove big trucks in the Army back in the day, so they said they may want him to drive something for them once in awhile, too.

    Sometimes, things just work out.
     
    Last edited:

    jamil

    code ho
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    Jul 17, 2011
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    I'd go with 6/10. Probably would have gone one or two higher if it weren't this late. A good spoof has to happen when the OP is still on the first page. Timing is everything.
     

    T.Lex

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    Mar 30, 2011
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    I'd go with 6/10. Probably would have gone one or two higher if it weren't this late. A good spoof has to happen when the OP is still on the first page. Timing is everything.
    In my defense, this was not an easy premise to come up with. :D
     

    jamil

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    I'd liked to have the cousin wandering all over the parking lot trying to find his Jeep since he can't see well, and then sees Dudley McGiggles crouching as he gets there.
     

    T.Lex

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    I'd liked to have the cousin wandering all over the parking lot trying to find his Jeep since he can't see well, and then sees Dudley McGiggles crouching as he gets there.

    I forgot that part. That's totally what he said. Edited the OP to reflect that.
     

    MCgrease08

    Grandmaster
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    Mar 14, 2013
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    Earth
    Oh come on. That's just rude. :)

    It was waaaaay too easy to connect to the original. The best spoofs are those you aren't quite sure are spoofs. But you got a bonus point for spinning it forward. I liked the bit about him getting a job at the end.

    I'd go with 6/10. Probably would have gone one or two higher if it weren't this late. A good spoof has to happen when the OP is still on the first page. Timing is everything.

    This.

    In my defense, this was not an easy premise to come up with. :D

    True.

    Its like golf. Low scores are better.

    Not really.
     

    jamil

    code ho
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    It also has a surprise twist. I'd have thought the guy would be looking for a lawyer to defend him against this Dudley McGiggles accusations. But turns out to be a happy ending. Well. Maybe not THAT kind of happy ending. But happy.
     

    Alamo

    Grandmaster
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    10   0   0
    Oct 4, 2010
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    Texas
    Hmmm. Somebody's been hired as criminal defense attorney, and he's secretly testing "reasonable doubt" scenarios in preparation for the trial....
     

    Alpo

    Grandmaster
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    Sep 23, 2014
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    Indy Metro Area
    Everybody's a critic......2/10....I could do better....yada yada yada

    I'm giving a full 8/10 for getting my short man at the bar joke earlier. Also as a result of frittering away billable hours as well.

    So, there!
     

    jamil

    code ho
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    Jul 17, 2011
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    I miss the old days when I could read the spoof thread before the original thread and not really know which was the spoof.
     
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