DNA testing, surprises, and living with the consequences

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  • myhightechsec

    Sharpshooter
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    Jul 15, 2016
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    The Region
    Is DNA testing worth it?

    I always knew the circumstances around my birth were a little hinky. Mom and Dad only knew each other a few days when they got married, and yet, seven months later I was born weighing 9 lbs. When I got old enough to understand what that meant I asked Mom about it. She was so distraught that I never brought the subject up again.

    After sixty years, and long after Mom and Dad had passed away, my aunts finally decided that I was old enough to know the truth… what little they had. Mom had been in love with a guy named Walter, who was not employed. He wanted to marry her, but with her having two young children and coming off a divorce from a real bum of a guy she wanted something more stable. She met Dad, who was a well-paid electrician, and they got married in a few days. From what the aunties said I don’t think either Walter or Dad knew that Mom was pregnant. Walter was broken hearted and left town, never to be heard from again. Dad never treated me less than his own from birth to the time he died. Over the past few years I figured that was the end of the story as there was so little info to go off from. Just “Walter” and “E. St. Louis.”

    So my kids got me the Ancestry DNA kit for Christmas. After staring at it for months I finally spit into the tube and sent it off. When I got my results back my closest relative in the files was someone I never heard of. I contacted her, found out she was Walter’s younger sister, and from there yesterday discovered two sisters and a brother that I never knew existed, along with a number of step-siblings that Walter had adopted from his later marriage.

    I have spoken with several of them and they are as stunned as I am. Fortunately, the first one I spoke with was a policeman for 40 years and now a private detective. He had heard the same type of story hundreds of times, so when it happened to him personally he was able to take it in stride and know how to introduce me to the rest of the family. They seem like really, really nice folk and I am looking forward to getting to know them.

    As a side note, here is my new step-brother’s webpage. Maybe I’ll be able to get my Illinois CCW with less trouble than what I had anticipated. :):

    Illinois Concealed Carry Training
     

    femurphy77

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    Mar 5, 2009
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    I've been thinking about doing the dna thing also, not because I'm concerned if mommy and daddy ARE mommy and daddy (NO disparagement meant to OP) but because there has always been a family rumor that there was some native American in the gene pool. Any time I quizzed grandma about it she denied it vehemently and changed the topic in a way you knew meant that the topic was closed!
     

    rhino

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    Mar 18, 2008
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    Ancestry DNA confirmed some things I already knew (almost 48% southeast Asian/pacific islander), but also had a few surprises in very small quantities. My siblings and I also have fewer neanderthal markers than most of the population, which explains why I have no urge to live in a cave unless it has central air conditioning.
     

    myhightechsec

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    Jul 15, 2016
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    I've been thinking about doing the dna thing also, not because I'm concerned if mommy and daddy ARE mommy and daddy (NO disparagement meant to OP) but because there has always been a family rumor that there was some native American in the gene pool. Any time I quizzed grandma about it she denied it vehemently and changed the topic in a way you knew meant that the topic was closed!

    The further removed you are from any one particular ethnic group the harder it is to spot in the DNA mix. If a great-grandparent was full blooded Indian there is still only about a 1 out of 10 chance that you have enough DNA to spot it. That is because each generation loses 1/2 the info stored in the DNA. After enough loss it becomes a matter of luck as to which markers you've retained.
     

    myhightechsec

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    Jul 15, 2016
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    The Region
    Ancestry DNA confirmed some things I already knew (almost 48% southeast Asian/pacific islander), but also had a few surprises in very small quantities. My siblings and I also have fewer neanderthal markers than most of the population, which explains why I have no urge to live in a cave unless it has central air conditioning.

    My wife is waiting for her test results which we are pretty sure is going to show 100% southeast Asian/pacific islander. Seems like a waste of money since we knew that just by looking at her. :)
     

    Cameramonkey

    www.thechosen.tv
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    May 12, 2013
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    I've been thinking about doing the dna thing also, not because I'm concerned if mommy and daddy ARE mommy and daddy (NO disparagement meant to OP) but because there has always been a family rumor that there was some native American in the gene pool. Any time I quizzed grandma about it she denied it vehemently and changed the topic in a way you knew meant that the topic was closed!

    And odds are, you hit a nerve, VERY squarely. I have found in situations like this, the more heated they are about it, the more true it is likely to be.
     

    LostWander

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    Jul 25, 2016
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    This is really cool. Siblings and I got my dad one of those tests this year for Father's Day. He sent it off so we are waiting on results but I'm really interested to see what it says.

    Really want my gf to get one done just bc her family is like femurphy's, secrets abound and nobody is spilling. Mostly bc her mom was adopted and they (her and her mom) dont know anything about heritage or medical history or anything
     

    tv1217

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    Mar 11, 2009
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    I've thought about doing one of those just to find out how much of my ethnic background actually matches up with what my family has told us it is.
     

    rhino

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    Mar 18, 2008
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    My wife is waiting for her test results which we are pretty sure is going to show 100% southeast Asian/pacific islander. Seems like a waste of money since we knew that just by looking at her. :)

    I think it will be more interesting than you expect! Phenotype (outward appearance) doesn't always track 1:1 with genotype.

    If she's Filipino, almost for sure she's going to have some DNA from the Spanish (that's why I'm not 49.9%). Depending on her heritage, she might also have some east Asian (probably Chinese, which is pretty common). There might be some unexpected surprises as well! The Spanish took Filipino sailors all over the world and also brought some of them and their progeny home. If she's Filipino, but from Hawaii, you might see a lot of different things in the report!
     

    sgreen3

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    Jan 19, 2011
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    That's a great story, thanks for sharing OP. Ive often thought about doing one of these kits myself as me and my brother are both adopted. However the idea of giving my DNA to a databank somewhere still has me a little on edge...
     

    myhightechsec

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    I think it will be more interesting than you expect! Phenotype (outward appearance) doesn't always track 1:1 with genotype.

    If she's Filipino, almost for sure she's going to have some DNA from the Spanish (that's why I'm not 49.9%). Depending on her heritage, she might also have some east Asian (probably Chinese, which is pretty common). There might be some unexpected surprises as well! The Spanish took Filipino sailors all over the world and also brought some of them and their progeny home. If she's Filipino, but from Hawaii, you might see a lot of different things in the report!

    Her maternal grandfather was quite very mestizo, with a prominent Roman nose and European features. Rumor has it that they are descended from Spanish royalty but I think 2/3s of the Filipinos claim that. They know that there is some Chinese from the momma's side also. Her father's side is pretty backwoods Pinoy. I doubt there is anything but pure Filipino in that DNA.
     

    myhightechsec

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    That's a great story, thanks for sharing OP. Ive often thought about doing one of these kits myself as me and my brother are both adopted. However the idea of giving my DNA to a databank somewhere still has me a little on edge...

    As noted... be prepared to live with the consequences if you take the test.
     

    littletommy

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    So, how can a DNA test put you onto relatives you don't know exist? Did those relatives use the same ancestry company as you, or is there other databases ancestry companies have access to? By the way, this isn't a tin foil hat type question, I've heard stories before about people finding previously unknown relatives, and always wondered how that works.
     

    myhightechsec

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    So, how can a DNA test put you onto relatives you don't know exist? Did those relatives use the same ancestry company as you, or is there other databases ancestry companies have access to? By the way, this isn't a tin foil hat type question, I've heard stories before about people finding previously unknown relatives, and always wondered how that works.

    It depends upon two people using the same testing company. After the test you get two reports. One lists the markers for the ethnic backgrounds. For example, mine was 40% Irish (which includes more than just Ireland), 30% Central Europe, and 20% Scandinavian. The other markers to add up to 100% were not of sufficient value to assign to a group.

    The other report is of a list of people with similar DNA to yours, ranked by closeness. My was expressed by one person in the 1st/2nd degree cousin range, about five people in the 2nd/3rd degree cousin range (which actually showed a 2nd degree cousin of mine), and about ten in the 3rd/4th degree cousin range. There were about 100 in the 4th/5th degree range. The reports say that sometimes they have trouble distinguishing between aunts/uncles and cousins.
    There is an option of emailing thru the website the folk that are listed. The email is then forwarded to the client email on file. If they email you back it goes again thru the system. You have the options of arranging your own correspondence routine at any point.

    I emailed the name that was on top of the list as my closest relative in the file and -- BINGO -- I hit the right one immediately.
     

    myhightechsec

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    That's a cool story. Glad you found out the truth(no disrespect to Dad).

    Truthfully? I am still processing the emotions in my mind. Between breakfast and lunch yesterday I found a whole set of siblings with their families that I didn't know existed. These people share blood with me and I had no belief that I would ever know. It's like a punch between the eyes.

    Since I found the truth about my bio-father several years ago I have fantasized about what I would say. He's been dead for several decades but still, when I the phone was ringing on my first contact call I'm thinking, "what in the heck am I going to say."
     
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