I must be doing something wrong.....

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  • lovemachine

    Grandmaster
    Rating - 100%
    17   0   0
    Dec 14, 2009
    15,601
    119
    Indiana
    Lately, I have come to the realization that I must be doing something wrong. My wife and I have been "attempting" the Dave Ramsey thing. Been able to clear up some debt, and follow a "loose" budget. It's not perfect, but we've been able to find cash which goes into savings. :)

    My 8 month old son has started daycare full time. So that's more money going out. Plus, we've been trying to make a double payment on the wife's car payment. Trying to get that sucker paid off.
    On my vehicle, 2005 Jeep Wrangler, I've been doing more maintenance on it. I just hit 105,000 miles, and I have recently replaced the rear main seal. I'm getting ready to do the axle seal and high pinion seal next. And over the weekend, I had to replace the spark plugs, and clean the throttle body. Just trying to keep that thing running good because it has to keep going.

    I really [STRIKE]don't want[/STRIKE] can't afford another car payment.

    Plus, my wife and I have found out that my son has more stuff than we do. So our 2 bedroom house has become quite full :)
    We've started looking online for homes for sale. Unfortunately, they are all priced higher than we want to pay.

    Anyway, we've been trying to become smarter with our money.

    I look around, and I see people with VERY nice and very BIG homes. And most are driving brand new vehicles. On the interstate, I see brand new 4-door Jeep Wranglers. Brand new Silverados. Brand new F150's. Brand new RAM's.

    How are people affording all this? High mortgage payments. At least 2 car payments on brand new vehicles. I'm amazed at what I'm seeing.

    Are people actually able to afford to do all this? Or are they living paycheck to paycheck?

    I want to know, because I have to be doing it all wrong.
     

    bocefus78

    Master
    Rating - 100%
    39   0   0
    Apr 9, 2014
    2,023
    63
    Hamilton Co.
    They live paycheck to paycheck, have 100% financed homes ( no down pmt), and have absolutely zero money in savings. If their a.c. In the home goes out, they have to charge it. They can't write a check bigger than low 3 figures. Some of these people can't even afford furniture for all the rooms in their giant mansions if you ever get to see inside of them!

    This is not all people, but it appropriately describes a ton of them.

    Keep doing what you are doing. Nobody gets debt free fast.
     

    T.Lex

    Grandmaster
    Rating - 100%
    15   0   0
    Mar 30, 2011
    25,859
    113
    A word to the wise: there will always be people with more or better stuff. Focus on your world and making it better (which you are).

    Look, I live in the virtual reality bubble called Carmel. I do real well by any objective measure. Yet, there are lots of people around me with more. Sometimes it gets really hard to just focus on what is really important: that I'm providing a stable life for my family, have a strong marriage and am raising my kids to be decent human beings.
     

    Tactically Fat

    Grandmaster
    Site Supporter
    Rating - 100%
    22   0   0
    Oct 8, 2014
    8,270
    113
    Indiana
    Because most Americans have ZERO savings, live direct deposit to direct deposit, and like to be in debt up to their eyeballs.

    The mentality of "if I can make payments, I can afford it."

    Paid-off vehicles cannot be repossessed... And a home without a mortgage cannot be (legally) foreclosed upon.

    Debt-free is THE way to be, son! Keep at it, man. Keep at it.

    In the mean time, I'll continue texting you $1mil + real estate listings.
     

    jagee

    Grandmaster
    Rating - 100%
    24   0   0
    Jan 19, 2013
    44,416
    113
    New Palestine
    I'm in a similar boat (but it's bigger, faster and WAY cooler :): ).

    We are living in a decent house in a less than ideal neighborhood. It's where she and I both grew up, but not the "American Dream" neighborhood. We have payments, her car is almost paid off, and the Harley still has a couple years. We considered buying a new house and significantly increasing the mortgage payment, but decided to wait. We are expecting our first and decided to save more money and move before the kid gets in school. Then we can pick where we want to be for the long haul. Hopefully having some more $$$ saved by then as well.
     

    phylodog

    Grandmaster
    Rating - 100%
    59   0   0
    Mar 7, 2008
    18,754
    113
    Arcadia
    Do what you do, focus on what makes you happy. I spend a fair amount of time with someone who literally makes more money in a month than I make in ten years and there is no way on earth I would trade places with them. Belongings are a tool a lot of people try to use to fill the voids in their life, I've yet to see it work.
     

    CountryBoy19

    Grandmaster
    Rating - 91.7%
    11   1   0
    Nov 10, 2008
    8,412
    63
    Bedford, IN
    The median retirement account in the US is less than $5,000... nuff said.

    People that are living like kings aren't looking ahead, they are living in today...

    There is definitely some virtue in living for the here & now, but that shouldn't be done with total disregard for your future either.

    One of the BEST sayings I've heard, and I believe it 100% applies to 99% of people in this country. Rich people live like they're poor, and poor people live like they're rich. There is a LOT of truth in that. The vast majority of people driving new cars, living in nice homes don't actually have much to their name. They have it all financed and their weekly paycheck is never enough to actually get ahead because they're paying a LOT in interest.

    Keep on keeping on... Your Jeep has fewer miles on it than our lowest mileage vehicle, and people look at me and wonder where my money came from; I've worked very hard, driven lots of miles on old, no-so-pretty cars, and sacrificed the unnecessary things in life (don't eat out often, don't have cable, minimalist internet that costs $5/mo, don't buy fancy things that aren't necessary). Just to put it in perspective, my DD is 17 years old, I've owned it for 13 of those years and it has almost 1/4 million miles on it. It's not pretty but it gets me where I'm going (only ever been truly stranded once).
     

    rob63

    Master
    Rating - 100%
    20   0   0
    May 9, 2013
    4,282
    77
    I have a close friend who is exactly the person you described. He and his wife live in a McMansion with multiple new SUV's. They are also constantly stressed out because of their fear of losing their jobs, and thus their ability to make payments. The interesting thing is that they have both lost their jobs in the past, which has resulted in a high state of anxiety without any actual changes in behavior regarding spending. Instead they jump through any hoops their employers give them and complain about having to work all the time.
     

    snorko

    Grandmaster
    Site Supporter
    Rating - 100%
    361   0   0
    Apr 3, 2008
    8,294
    113
    Evansville, IN
    Go back and read your OP. Many would look at you and see a man with a loving wife and partner who are working together, keeping a home, raising a child and acting resposibly with an eye on the future. Many of those driving new cars are looking at you with envy.
     

    jagee

    Grandmaster
    Rating - 100%
    24   0   0
    Jan 19, 2013
    44,416
    113
    New Palestine
    I have a close friend who is exactly the person you described. He and his wife live in a McMansion with multiple new SUV's. They are also constantly stressed out because of their fear of losing their jobs, and thus their ability to make payments. The interesting thing is that they have both lost their jobs in the past, which has resulted in a high state of anxiety without any actual changes in behavior regarding spending. Instead they jump through any hoops their employers give them and complain about having to work all the time.

    That's one nice thing about my current work situation. I really don't have to worry about losing my job. In the extreme case where it may happen, I make one or two phone calls and get a higher paying job by the next week. I'd have to work harder and a lot more hours, which is why I don't work there now, but if it means getting a paycheck I'd do it.
     

    possum_128

    Master
    Rating - 100%
    13   0   0
    Mar 21, 2008
    2,487
    84
    Martinsville area
    The best I can say is live below your means, save 10% of your bring home pay and pay yourself first before anyone else. I invested in my retirement and paid my home off when I retired and did 30,000. worth of upgrades. Raised two kids an a Firefighters pay and always bought new vehicles. Today I have a pension, social security as well as work part time selling guns and have close to 2,000.00 a month to sock in savings. Quit worrying what everyone else has and work on your own needs. Remember that needs come before wants.
     

    lovemachine

    Grandmaster
    Rating - 100%
    17   0   0
    Dec 14, 2009
    15,601
    119
    Indiana
    Because most Americans have ZERO savings, live direct deposit to direct deposit, and like to be in debt up to their eyeballs.

    The mentality of "if I can make payments, I can afford it."

    Paid-off vehicles cannot be repossessed... And a home without a mortgage cannot be (legally) foreclosed upon.

    Debt-free is THE way to be, son! Keep at it, man. Keep at it.

    In the mean time, I'll continue texting you $1mil + real estate listings.

    Those ARE very nice houses :)
     

    HoughMade

    Grandmaster
    Rating - 0%
    0   0   0
    Oct 24, 2012
    35,615
    149
    Valparaiso
    I've always looked at my low debt lifestyle (mortgage only), my wife staying at home, and my kids doing college debt free as my status symbols. A lot of people have more stuff. That's fine for them. I am content.

    Contentment is the key. Ambition and contentment can coexist.
     

    BehindBlueI's

    Grandmaster
    Rating - 100%
    29   0   0
    Oct 3, 2012
    25,890
    113
    Are people actually able to afford to do all this? Or are they living paycheck to paycheck?

    A mixture of both. What others are doing isn't relevant to you, though. If they are in debt or they just have higher incomes, the question is how do you get where you want to be? Unfortunately, that's tougher and tougher to do.
     

    Kutnupe14

    Troll Emeritus
    Rating - 0%
    0   0   0
    Jan 13, 2011
    40,294
    149
    They live paycheck to paycheck, have 100% financed homes ( no down pmt), and have absolutely zero money in savings. If their a.c. In the home goes out, they have to charge it. They can't write a check bigger than low 3 figures. Some of these people can't even afford furniture for all the rooms in their giant mansions if you ever get to see inside of them!

    This is not all people, but it appropriately describes a ton of them.

    Keep doing what you are doing. Nobody gets debt free fast.

    This!
     

    patience0830

    .22 magician
    Site Supporter
    Rating - 96.6%
    28   1   0
    Nov 3, 2008
    17,594
    149
    Not far from the tree
    When you're in a hole, stop digging.

    Get serious about the Everydollar thing. Wife and I are in the same boat. Raising a grandkid, maintaining two properties, driving older, paid for cars, eating out less, shopping at Aldi. We're rooting for you. Grandson will be on his own in a couple of years and we'll be able to rent one of the houses. Feel like we're starting to turn the corner. You're younger and have more time to achieve your success. Patience and diligence will pay off.:yesway:
     

    jd4320t

    Grandmaster
    Rating - 100%
    23   0   0
    Oct 20, 2009
    22,891
    83
    South Putnam County
    It's all been said and right on the money. They are in debt. Borrowers who are slaves to their many lenders. No retirement. No savings. No emergency fund.

    Keep at it. Don't get tempted. You don't need a bigger house. It's a want. Pay off the debt besides the house. Then save for a down payment for a new house.

    Oh and don't get tempted by the big and expensive newer truck. :)
     

    hoosierdoc

    Freed prisoner
    Rating - 100%
    8   0   0
    Apr 27, 2011
    25,987
    149
    Galt's Gulch
    In ten years they will still have two car payments and no savings, but be driving new cars. You will have savings, no car payments, and a nearly paid off house. You are winning, they are preening.
     

    AmmoManAaron

    Master
    Rating - 100%
    37   0   0
    Feb 20, 2015
    3,334
    83
    I-get-around
    Because most Americans have ZERO savings, live direct deposit to direct deposit, and like to be in debt up to their eyeballs.

    The mentality of "if I can make payments, I can afford it."

    Paid-off vehicles cannot be repossessed... And a home without a mortgage cannot be (legally) foreclosed upon.

    Debt-free is THE way to be, son! Keep at it, man. Keep at it.

    QFT. And it doesn't end well for those folks when there is a hiccup in the economy or their personal finances. Stay the course, you are not doing it wrong lovemachine.
     

    Que

    Meekness ≠ Weakness
    Site Supporter
    Rating - 98%
    48   1   0
    Feb 20, 2009
    16,373
    83
    Blacksburg
    You never know what people have done to have what they possess. Don't compare yourself to anyone and don't believe the grass is greener on the other side. Stay focused on your family's plan, because it sounds good.
     
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