Is there an elder lawyer or case worker in the house?

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  • K_W

    Grandmaster
    Rating - 100%
    8   0   0
    Aug 14, 2008
    5,385
    63
    Indy / Carmel
    I have a question: How can our family legally prevent an injured and bullheaded elderly relative from driving their vehicle until they have healed sufficiently to be safe to drive it?... (i.e. not "stealing" the car/keys)

    Preferably without court orders of incompetence or forced surrender of license since they are only temporarily disabled.

    We have considered reversibly disabling ignition or locking the controls of the vehicle with a club device, but are not certain of the legality or even effectiveness of that considering the relative's intellect and resources.
     
    Last edited:

    halfmileharry

    Grandmaster
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    65   0   0
    Dec 2, 2010
    11,450
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    South of Indy
    I'd talk to their doctor. He might have enough say to stop the elderly from driving.

    Leave the Doc out of it if at all humanly possible.
    Once they stick their well meaning nose into legal matters your world goes to hell in a handbag.
    A flat tire should slow things down a bit. Something similar would work as well.
     

    Tactically Fat

    Grandmaster
    Site Supporter
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    22   0   0
    Oct 8, 2014
    8,270
    113
    Indiana
    I'd almost swear that you were referring to my father in law, OP... But he died the other day so I know you're not talking about the same fellow.

    I'd try to play up "What if you're in an accident with someone and a child gets hurt and killed?" angle as much as I could.

    I also don't know the legalities of rendering a car inoperable w/o the owner's consent. I wish you the best, OP.
     

    awames76

    Sharpshooter
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    0   0   0
    Feb 24, 2016
    381
    28
    kendallville
    i was luck. after dad died mom drove but got to where she did not and i had her car to do some brake work from not driving it enough. and she said she wanted it back was several months so she drove home with me. got home and she said she did not feel safe to drive. i was ready to tell her she could not drive anymore. the apartment she was in was beside a small grocery store and they would come over and put the stuff away for her. we seen her couple times a week.

    might have to get several family members together and say u cant drive right now. best advice is if all family members agree. if they dont let them take a drive with them if possible
     

    HoughMade

    Grandmaster
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    0   0   0
    Oct 24, 2012
    35,615
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    Valparaiso
    I'm no elder law expert (though I took the class and was a researcher for the professor....back before I was elderly), and this is not legal advice for your specific situation, just a few principles.... but generally speaking you are on shaky ground when you are preventing someone from doing something against their will or tricking them in a way that prevents it.

    That being said, if a person was to take actions to prevent self-harm (or harm to others) for a limited amount of time, how would this become a legal issue? Who is reporting what to who? What is the lawsuit? Is someone going to file charges? I can imagine scenarios, but I could not say that any have a high percentage chance of happening....unless you have that one family member.... For me, better safe than sorry, and by safety, I mean health of the family member and others, not legally.

    I understand the impulse to keep the "man" out of it, especially for a temporary situation. My Dad was facing the possible loss of his license last fall because of memory issues. He drove perfectly safely in that he operated the car without any issues and was, probably, a more cautious driver that I am. However, he would forget where he was going or how to get there. Here's the thing- he never drove anywhere alone. Never. My Mom has absolutely no memory issues. She was his memory and together, they were a matched set that meant he was safe to drive. When his neurologist suggested that he may have to take tests to retain his license, his primary care provider who has treated and known my parents for 30 years, went to bat for him.

    All I'm saying is that it it were me, I would do what was reasonable and seemed prudent to prevent the harm for the temporary time. Ideally, I would try to work with the person I was concerned about to make this voluntary, and not mandated. I was resolute in treating my Dad as a man, even though he had memory issues, right up to the end. It would have been very difficult for me to become authoritative like a parent with him. Not because of him, because of me. Hopefully, this person can see the "for your own good" nature of this...which is easier for them to see and not rebel against if they are treated like an autonomous, mature adult and not a kid.
     

    KittySlayer

    Grandmaster
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    4   0   0
    Jan 29, 2013
    6,473
    77
    Northeast IN
    Think like an old man.

    You are not taking away his ability to drive. You are taking away his freedom and mobility.

    So rather than taking the keys, etc. come up with a schedule for the family that allows him to keep his freedom and mobility. That means most days of the week.
    • Monday - son is available to take you where you need to go after 5:00pm.
    • Tuesday - grandson is available to take you were you need to go after he is done with school at 3:30pm.
    • Wednesday - everyone is busy but here is $20 for a cab (not Uber - too complex for old people) if you could not get something Tuesday and can't wait until Thursday.
    • Thursday - daughter in law...
    • Friday - nephew...
    • Saturday - neighbor, drinking buddy, booty call, etc....
    • Sunday - we will pick you up for church, go to lunch after and run whatever errands you need.
    • Rinse and Repeat
     

    Tactically Fat

    Grandmaster
    Site Supporter
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    22   0   0
    Oct 8, 2014
    8,270
    113
    Indiana
    Think like an old man.

    You are not taking away his ability to drive. You are taking away his freedom and mobility.

    So rather than taking the keys, etc. come up with a schedule for the family that allows him to keep his freedom and mobility. That means most days of the week.
    • Monday - son is available to take you where you need to go after 5:00pm.
    • Tuesday - grandson is available to take you were you need to go after he is done with school at 3:30pm.
    • Wednesday - everyone is busy but here is $20 for a cab (not Uber - too complex for old people) if you could not get something Tuesday and can't wait until Thursday.
    • Thursday - daughter in law...
    • Friday - nephew...
    • Saturday - neighbor, drinking buddy, booty call, etc....
    • Sunday - we will pick you up for church, go to lunch after and run whatever errands you need.
    • Rinse and Repeat

    AND contact the senior services for that county and inquire about their transportation/ride system.
     

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