End of life arrangements...

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  • Tactically Fat

    Grandmaster
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    Oct 8, 2014
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    If you haven't done them - shame on you.

    Get that crap taken care of NOW while you still can. Seriously.

    My father-in-law died Sep 16th. ZERO anything arranged. BARELY enough life insurance to cover a traditional burial. He was not at all in favor of cremation - but we had to have those discussions as a possibility because we weren't yet sure if he had ANY life insurance. None of his family have any spare money. His other two kids don't have any money. My wife and I can't afford to be out that much $ all of a sudden... But it seems to have worked out.

    Seriously, people. Get your crap together. Don't leave a MESS for your kids/siblings/etc.
     

    amboy49

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    Feb 1, 2013
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    central indiana
    My wife, who has always been the "planner" has everything arranged including having the complete burial service prepaid. She did this by contracting with a funeral home and the price is locked forever regardless of her date of death in the future. If the funeral home goes out of business there is an insurance policy backing it up.

    My father had everything prepaid - used his VA benefits to cover some things. The rest out of pocket and left specific instructions. It made things so much easier. The last thing you want to do when you and loved ones are grieving is to have to deal with making tough and emotional decisions.
     

    Tactically Fat

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    Pre Paid is an Annuity most through Batesville Industeries. I know most every Funeral Director in Allen County. Most have been Bought Out by Big Business. Lots of Money in Dying.

    My FIL was at Thoma Rich Lemler in Bluffton. I cannot recommend them highly enough. Mr. Lemler and I were talking a bit Sat afternoon as I was writing a check - about how the huge conglomerates had bought out most of the funeral homes in Allen Co - as well as the one in Ossian and one in another small town nearby (May have been Markle?). TRL is still family/locally owned and operated. And they do a wonderful wonderful wonderful job of serving their clients. Seriously. They, however, are not cheap. But - they are a business. The mark-up on caskets is enormous vs. prices I saw online for the SAME casket that we purchased.
     

    myhightechsec

    Sharpshooter
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    Jul 15, 2016
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    The Region
    When my mother died she had a lengthy letter which spelled out everything... even her obituary written in advance, and the name and number of her hairdresser she wanted to come to the funeral home to do her hair one last time. She had the whole funeral planned out, including who would do the eulogies, and her pallbearers. Her dress was pre-selected and hanging in a separate place in the closet. And it's not that she was in ill health and ready to go... she just didn't want to leave us kids with any burdens or worries about the "right decision to make."

    It did make dealing with the trauma of her sudden and unexpected death much easier.
     

    Tactically Fat

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    And I forgot to mention what prompted this thread at all.

    Today is the 4 year anniversary of my wife's mother's tragic and sudden death. We buried her father on 9/23. (for further effect, my wife's birthday was 9/21)

    Neither of my wife's parents had ANYTHING ready to go - save for some life insurance.

    Both were messy messy messy affairs.

    If y'all don't have life insurance (and, once you're passed a certain age you really don't need to spend the $ on premiums IF you have assets) - do what you can to A) get some, or B) squirrel away enough $ to cover your expenses. That includes up to about $4k for a grave monument if you'd like to be buried. $4k is for a no-frills double-name upright stone. Individual "flat" stones, without embellishments can be had for $1500 or so. Then there's the cost of the footer...
     

    Thor

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    Jan 18, 2014
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    Could be anywhere
    When I go my kids can dump me in a hole in the back yard...in fact I'd prefer it that way. Throw a wake, have a good time, remember me favorably. The only thing I ask is that they don't fight over everything and remain friends / family afterwards.
     

    spencer rifle

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    Apr 15, 2011
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    Scrounging brass
    We have our cremation and funeral arrangements all set and paid for. Term life still in force. Wills in the safe. DPA and health directives all set. All policy numbers and amounts listed in the safe. Accounts Joint WROS.

    When my dad died, mom was a wreck, sister was overwrought. Fortunately my mom's sister had buried her husband recently. She advised "Get to the bank FIRST THING and take out as much money as you can, and move it into an account with just your name on it." She knew probate would lock up everything ASAP. That's why we have our stuff WROS. Skips probate.
     
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    spencer rifle

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    Apr 15, 2011
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    Possibly not, but she didn't empty it of funds, and debt/probate were not an issue. She needed money to live on, and her sister had to deal with the lockup of funds that a simple joint account is subject to. Without WROS, a trust can be set up to dodge probate and implement deceased wishes (hold funds for children's maturity, appoint guardians, provide for support of minors, instruct distribution preferences, etc.).
     

    hoosierdoc

    Freed prisoner
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    8   0   0
    Apr 27, 2011
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    Galt's Gulch
    The burial costs we went through with Grace were much more than I expected. The funeral was at our church which saved money.

    We bought three plots, got a monument for three people with lots of engraving. Another unexpected expensive part was the lack of income during the grieving period. That's something that is overlooked a lot I think.
     

    chocktaw2

    Home on the Range
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    Feb 5, 2011
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    My mom, dad, sister had everything taken care of before dad passed. ( ALZ ) He was still in his right mind when this was done. So much easier to deal with. OP, thanks for posting this. There is no war, like war between family.
     

    Expat

    Pdub
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    Feb 27, 2010
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    Dad knew he was dying a couple months ahead, so I got his and mom’s arrangements, plots, all set up and paid for. When the wife goes, I will go ahead and set mine up along with hers.
     

    CountryBoy19

    Grandmaster
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    11   1   0
    Nov 10, 2008
    8,412
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    Bedford, IN
    When I go my kids can dump me in a hole in the back yard...in fact I'd prefer it that way. Throw a wake, have a good time, remember me favorably. The only thing I ask is that they don't fight over everything and remain friends / family afterwards.

    I know you're probably kidding, but there are some very strict rules in Indiana WRT burial. In Indiana, it's not even legal to spread cremated ashes, they must be kept in an urn, or buried in a marked burial plot... I'm going to have a secret will/directive that tells my kids to screw the law, they can load me up in some 12 ga shells and dust some clays with my remains...
     

    BigBoxaJunk

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    Feb 9, 2013
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    I want one of those Viking funerals, put in a boat, sent to sea and then set on fire.

    I like that idea too.

    Wonder who to call to pre-plan for one of those. It'd be more expensive with the boat, but you're not spending on a headstone, so I bet if you go cheap on a boat, it may be a wash. I mean, you'd need a wooden boat to burn, and an old half-rotten one would have to cheap, if not free for hauling. Dab some caulking where it's needed and it would surely float long enough.
     
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