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  • Libertarian01

    Grandmaster
    Site Supporter
    Rating - 100%
    3   0   0
    Jan 12, 2009
    6,006
    113
    Fort Wayne
    Less than 30 minutes ago I got word that a friend of mine has died, by suicide.

    To my thinking he had everything going for him; a good job, a nice car he LOVED, home paid for, well educated. In a thought, the whole enchilada.

    And yet, here I am, wondering how to process this news. I was going to say that I am not looking for sympathy, or condolences, but that would be a lie. At least kindof. I think what I am looking for is something I will never have, at least while I am alive - understanding. Comprehension. A reason that a good, decent, successful person would decide to take an entire bottle of pills at the same time.

    I know I will not find a reason, at least not one that will truly satisfy me.

    Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be 52. He was 40. I have some minor health issues. He was in good health. In three (3) days it is Thanksgiving. There is some irony here. I will try to be thankful for all of my family, friends, and folks I know that are still here.

    So let this be a reminder, gentle reader, to be thankful for all that we still have - love and hope, family and friends, and more tomorrows.

    Doug
     

    churchmouse

    I still care....Really
    Emeritus
    Rating - 100%
    187   0   0
    Dec 7, 2011
    191,809
    152
    Speedway area
    The rational mind will never understand this. I have lost more than a few friends relations and acquaintances in this way. A few came as little to no surprise.
    It is just mind boggling when someone like you describe checks out in that way. Could he have learned he was ill. Maybe something terminal. Just saying.

    In what you closed with, yes be thankful. I have so much to be thankful for.
    I wish you peace in this. hard not to reflect.
     

    Woobie

    Grandmaster
    Rating - 0%
    0   0   0
    Dec 19, 2014
    7,197
    63
    Losantville
    I'm so sorry, Doug. You've described what I think everyone goes through during these times. You try to figure out what was going on. Something in us needs to know. It's frustrating, it hurts, you get mad at them sometimes, you feel really sorry for them, and wish you would have known before they put themselves beyond help. Hang in there. Show his family love, as I'm sure you will.
     

    Wolfhound

    Hired Goon
    Site Supporter
    Rating - 100%
    45   0   0
    Apr 11, 2011
    3,966
    149
    Henry County
    I am sorry for your loss. Suicide is such a difficult thing to understand. Don't spend too much time trying to figure out why. In my experience it is a question we can never answer. Just try to remember the good times and the positive experiences your friend gave you while he was here.
     

    Bennettjh

    Grandmaster
    Site Supporter
    Rating - 100%
    5   0   0
    Jul 8, 2012
    10,434
    113
    Columbus
    Sorry for your loss, Doug. It's something I don't think we'll ever understand. I've lost a couple friends to this. Just unimaginable.
     

    Cygnus

    Master
    Rating - 0%
    0   0   0
    Apr 24, 2009
    3,835
    48
    New England
    So sorry hear of this for you and your friend's family. Timing is never good for something like this. Sometimes things get a little worse when it's near a holiday and what was below the surface comes out.
    Thoughts prayers and PM.
     
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    Brad69

    Grandmaster
    Rating - 0%
    0   0   0
    Jul 16, 2016
    5,104
    77
    Perry county
    No words can comfort you on this.
    Everything seems great and normal on the outside nobody else can hear the demons screaming on the inside.
    Please don’t place blame it just is what it is.
    Deaths finds us all in whatever form it takes.
     

    Cameramonkey

    www.thechosen.tv
    Staff member
    Moderator
    Site Supporter
    Rating - 100%
    35   0   0
    May 12, 2013
    31,686
    77
    Camby area
    Sorry for your loss. Its rough, I know. And you are right. There are no words. Some help, but nothing takes all the hurt away.

    Good luck processing it. Just dont beat yourself up. There is nothing you could have done to prevent it.
     

    IndyGal65

    Master
    Site Supporter
    Rating - 0%
    0   0   0
    Jan 12, 2012
    1,676
    113
    Speedway, IN
    I am truly sorry for the loss of your friend. The hardest part in these situations is not knowing why. I’ve lost a couple of friends this way and never saw it coming. It is so difficult, if not impossible, to comprehend. But as you said, we can all give thanks for what we have and those around us.
     

    CHCRandy

    Master
    Rating - 100%
    5   0   0
    Feb 16, 2013
    3,699
    113
    Hendricks County
    I lost my best friend to suicide when we were about 40....he had the world by the nut sack as well. We will never know why those things happen. Wishing you the best and keep on keeping on! Sorry for your loss.
     

    OurDee

    nobody
    Trainer Supporter
    Rating - 100%
    25   0   0
    Sep 16, 2017
    7,968
    113
    Camby
    Be thankful for the peace you have in your own mind. Take nothing for granted. Hug those you can. I am sorry for your loss.
     

    nra4ever

    Master
    Rating - 100%
    25   0   0
    Dec 19, 2011
    2,372
    83
    Indy
    They say suicide is a result of depression. I don't know. From what you wrote it seems like his value system was focused on material things. Maybe he needed to change his focus. I don't know. Sorry you lost your friend but what can we learn from what happened. I hope you find peace.
     
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