Bullying in school

[deo62]

Perhaps parents should raise there kids not to bully some of these kids in school and just maybe some of them might not feel the need to shoot up a school. Sorry just ranting.

 

[BobDaniels]

Perhaps parents should raise there kids .

You could have stopped right there... but I totally agree.

 

[ArcadiaGP]

It takes more than being bullied in school to make that next step of starting a shooting.

There's something else there, has to be, that causes someone to do that.

Speaking from experience of being bullied in school.

 

[churchmouse]

I was bullied every day of my life until I decided it was not going to happen anymore. This is nothing anywhere near new.

 

[russc2542]

Perhaps we should go back to the days when kids were allowed (at least try) to stand up to bullies.

a year or so ago I got a call that my then 4yo daughter got in trouble at daycare because "she head butted another child causing him to run off crying"... went to get her and asked what happened? oh, well she was playing by herself happily, he came over and tried to take the toy she had. she said no. he insisted. she said no. he pushed her. she pushed back and said no. he head butted her. she head butted him. he ran off crying. So what's the problem?


saw on f[ool]book: "If a kid hits another kid with a stick, do you A. take away the stick or B. give everyone a stick?" I say C. teach the kid why you don't use the stick that way (among other things, because next time the other kid will have a stick) and if it does happen again, there'll be another stick waiting for him/her.

My daughter also had a little real trouble, hitting others (delayed language development, she got frustrated, whack). Funny enough, it hasn't happened since.

 

[ArcadiaGP]

I was bullied every day of my life until I decided it was not going to happen anymore. This is nothing anywhere near new.

And that's the difference. Kids today are raised weaker, not allowed to have a sense of competition, and forced to be in a "zero tolerance" environment.

Perhaps we should go back to the days when kids were allowed (at least try) to stand up to bullies.

When I was in Middle/High school, "zero tolerance" was being pushed out for fighting. You were told that any fighting is an immediate punishment up to being expelled.

Bullying, however, isn't necessarily fighting, it's not a specifically "physical" thing.

So these days... kids can be bullied, can't retaliate without being in trouble... and we can't expect every instructor to know the goings-on of every involvement. Like you explained, it's one story against the other... and there are far too many kids in school for a teacher to know who to believe.

Back to the initial thing: You have to have a deeply pessimistic view of life to take that big step to using a gun in these situations. You have to believe you're probably going to die, I would imagine (in many cases we see it turn into a murder/suicide situation).

Some people get bullied, but let it go and still enjoy life and their friends, etc... they get out of school, and they're fine. Or they're the type of people that don't let **** get to them.

 

[seedubs1]

No. Bullying has been around for centuries. Bullying is not the reason for school shootings.

 

[Birds Away]

Do kids suffer bullying and turn out fine, sure. Could this have an seriously negative impact on a kid who has no support structure at home and few or no friends? Yes, I think so. I don't think there is one cause or one solution to these issues. A little "bullying" probably does build character in kids. A lot of bullying, without anyone for the kid to turn to, tends to reinforce a lot of negatives in some kid's life. I just don't think it's as simple as saying "I was bullied as a kid and I didn't become a mass shooter so, therefore, it isn't about bullying". When dealing with the human mind nothing is that easy.

 

[russc2542]

And that's the difference. Kids today are raised weaker, not allowed to have a sense of competition, and forced to be in a "zero tolerance" environment.

When I was in Middle/High school, "zero tolerance" was being pushed out for fighting. You were told that any fighting is an immediate punishment up to being expelled.

Bullying, however, isn't necessarily fighting, it's not a specifically "physical" thing.

completely agree with the first part. can't have competitions because that means someone wins and someone loses. I'm amazed sports are still allowed. Have to punish both fighters because to do otherwise would require blame on one party, singling them out.

Physical or not, it comes down to the recipient's response. I've met with some limited success with my wife (very timid, low self-esteem, easily hurt) who's habitual response is to retreat into herself and feel bad... then be depressed for a week and vent to me) whether it's genuine meanness or just guys giving friendly banter in the shop (because, of course, she always ends up in a shop full of grumpy old codgers). The times she's been able to come up with a response, generally they're shocked into silence and she feels much better about herself and the rest of day goes fantastic.

 

[ArcadiaGP]

Do kids suffer bullying and turn out fine, sure. Could this have an seriously negative impact on a kid who has no support structure at home and few or no friends? Yes, I think so. I don't think there is one cause or one solution to these issues. A little "bullying" probably does build character in kids. A lot of bullying, without anyone for the kid to turn to, tends to reinforce a lot of negatives in some kid's life. I just don't think it's as simple as saying "I was bullied as a kid and I didn't become a mass shooter so, therefore, it isn't about bullying". When dealing with the human mind nothing is that easy.

Right. I think it's something that has to have more aspects to it.

A bullied kid that has no friends to turn to, no support, and gets re-enforced over and over how bleak and pointless life is to them... that is probably a higher risk. School systems aren't helping.

Thousands of kids are bullied. It takes something more unique to make one of those kids turn into a killer.

 

[Birds Away]

Right. I think it's something that has to have more aspects to it.

A bullied kid that has no friends to turn to, no support, and gets re-enforced over and over how bleak and pointless life is to them... that is probably a higher risk. School systems aren't helping.

Thousands of kids are bullied. It takes something more unique to make one of those kids turn into a killer.

Yes, but it can be a piece of the puzzle.

 

[John224]

I have grand children, one of them, a grand daughter, was being bullied by another boy on their co-ed 4th grade basketball team. My daughter, who was not raised to be victim, sent her 8th grade son over to the area. All he had to do was stand behind his sister and not say a thing. Situation handled!

 

[deo62]

As I stated in OP, this was a rant, and I shouldn't have wrote with no sleep and emotions high. I do agree with all of you, this is only one small piece of the problem. New wave parenting, mental instability, environment among many other things all lead to the problems this country is facing right now. I don't see the liberals raising the age of ownership of cars, possibly because they all like them as opposed to firearm ownership which scares them. Some people are just afraid of things don't understand.Hence the main difference in parties-we don't understand it, we just don't participate. They don't understand it then all people must suffer from a ban or law just to appease their utopian dreamland.

 

[Hop]

I was bullied in H.S. at times too until I finally stood up to the bullies. I never once considered shooting any of the bullies. I made the bullies miss the bell for class, miss their buss stops & maybe a bloody nose or lip once in a while. My parents had no idea any of this was happening. If a parent doesn't drill their kid they will never know either. I did not drill my kid enough on what happened at her school and I feel bad about that.

 

[Trigger Time]

I was bullied until I knocked a high schooler right in his mouth for picking on a friend of mine on the bus. I was in middle school. Yeah he knocked my head into a window and cracked it but I stood up.
Anytime someone wanted to bully and pick on me or anyone else I beat them as long as I could till a teacher pulled me off. Guess what? It worked and the rest of my school life was great.
I'm not raising my kids to be bullys but they won't be wimps either. If someone physicly hits them then they will defend themselves.
And believe me, you need to teach your kids self defense because there's little hood rats that go to your kids school that threaten them with rape and other physical violence and the school DOES NOTHING!

 

[Libertarian01]

I knew a guy from a different school than me. He was seriously bullied. His father was connected (I don't know how) as a "contractor" with a branch of DoD. Chemical weapons. The bullied kid was also a genius in chemistry. Apparently one time he'd had enough and got into some of his dads books. He began collecting some household cleaning products and was working on lashing out at the whole school. He'd told a mutual friend who wound up talking him out of doing anything. This was a good thing as the body count would have probably put to shame anything with bullets involved.

He is now grown up, married with kids, and as far as I know a very happy man. With a very good job in chemistry.

I think he told our mutual friend in order to be talked out of it. He had had enough and didn't want to put up with being picked on anymore. Having a friend to share with and lean on can be a huge benefit, especially in stressful times.

Bullying is part of growing up. There are always those that feel weak themselves and the only way they feel strong is by picking on those perceived as weaker than themselves. The problem as many have already addressed, is that todays kids aren't allowed to fight back, push back, or resist. These progressive ideas of "going to an adult" to straighten things out is pure folly. Kids might not know the term "rat" but they DO know there are things you don't tell on, and if you do the resulting treatment by every peer, not just the bullies, will get worse. Besides, teachers won't do crap unless they witness it themselves, and even then THEY won't do crap, they're trained to simply pass the buck upstream to a school administrator who will not realize the seriousness of the situation. This is only for bullying that happens on school grounds. Much of bullying happens off of property where anyone can do anything.

Kids need to be allowed, to a point, to "sort things out" on their own without fear of massive reprisal from the system. It shouldn't be encouraged, but it should be tolerated. How we'd go about doing such I will leave to those wiser than myself.

Regards,

Doug

 

[Trigger Time]

From a kids perspective things that happen in school is their whole universe when they have absent parents.

Nintendo and tv at home where no one pays any attention to them. Going to school and having to worry a out grades and also fitting in and maybe being bullied too
vs.
Being infamous and celebrity (thanks to the media) and getting back at their bullies, and tv and Nintendo, and 24/7 attention in prison.

Now from a undeveloped child's mind you tell me which is different or better? Add in there mental illness and no parent that has taught them much consequences for their actions or values, and a society where violence against police and politicians and political opponents thst don't agree with you is applauded and acceptible, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why school killings happen

 

[BehindBlueI's]

From a kids perspective things that happen in school is their whole universe...

I think that's one huge difference between when most of us were kids and what kids deal with today. School bullies could only bully at school, but now with all the social media, online games, and connectivity all the time they can bully any time of the day. It's not physical bullying, it's the social bullying and it's incredibly difficult to get away from while still connecting with friends.

I've said it before and will say it again, I'm glad I was a kid before cell phones, Facebook, and all this mess.

 

[churchmouse]

I've said it before and will say it again, I'm glad I was a kid before cell phones, Facebook, and all this mess.

Yes sir. Absolutely

 

[WebSnyper]

I've said it before and will say it again, I'm glad I was a kid before cell phones, Facebook, and all this mess.

And that as an adult, I choose to control how "connected" I am and actively do so. Some adults have not figured this out, let alone kids. I'm happy to stay away from Facebook, and most of the various other social media platforms out there. I do use Twitter to follow some gun, fishing and other stuff, but none of the other platforms, as I don't care to be connected to everyone I've ever come in contact with, or have to read my in-laws political views, etc.

That said, my wife is very connected in that space and that is a good thing to keep eyes out on the connectedness of our kids in social media (which we controlled significantly until they were older, and that my wife still monitors and gives "recommendations" to the kids on today on things they post, etc, with one being a senior in high school and the other being in college).