Helicopter Parent?

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  • wcd

    Grandmaster
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    Dec 2, 2011
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    Off the Grid In Tennessee
    Ok here is my question? Our son is going to be 15 shortly, and wants to get a job. There are not a lot of options short of fast food, convenience stores etc. Honestly none of these options seem like good options to me.

    So for years i have been saving up to start a family business, kind of my dream. It wont take much to get it off the ground, we are zoned Ag
    Sales tax exemption received
    Business plan written
    Paper work ready to be filed for llc
    Appropriate insurance in place.
    Capital in place no debt will be required
    Most of all he wants to do this as a family, is there a down side? My goal is to have an extra income for the family and to build a business together for his future. The plusses as i see it are that he can earn money faster than a minimum wage job, we wont have to drive him to work, and he can work in a safe environment.

    Thoughts?
     

    sugarcreekbrass

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    Mar 29, 2015
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    I think that would be a great idea. He will learn a lot more about work ethic, responsibility, management, etc than working a typical teenager job. Plus, you will be able to supervise/mentor him. If all goes well, he will already have his career pathway when he graduates. Best of wishes if you move forward on this venture!
     

    KittySlayer

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    Jan 29, 2013
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    Northeast IN
    Sometimes learning from a parent is a challenge for a teenager. Sometimes teaching a teenager is a challenge for a parent.

    My dad was a retail pharmacist. All through high school and college I was a stock boy at a pharmacy. My dad never wanted me to work at the same store as he managed. His theory was every other employee would think I was getting off easy and the other side of that coin was dad would work me harder than anyone else in the store.

    I think a lot can be learned from leaving the helicopter pad and working independently. He may make less money, the job may suck, you may be inconvenienced... What’s the difference from the cost of sending him to a parochial school to learn things? If family economics allow have him take that minimum wage job and learn why he should study hard, work hard and that life is not always fair and slackers will get paid the same wage as him.

    If your dream is to have a family business and you have saved for it was the dream yours or just another thing to give your kid? This can work! I don’t mean to be a Debbie Downer. Just think about where you want your son to be ten years from now and if you are giving him all the experiences necessary to get there. Remember most second generation family businesses fail for a reason and third generation are nearly nonexistent.
     

    Clay Pigeon

    Shooter
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    6   0   0
    Aug 3, 2016
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    Summitville
    Ok here is my question? Our son is going to be 15 shortly, and wants to get a job. There are not a lot of options short of fast food, convenience stores etc. Honestly none of these options seem like good options to me.

    So for years i have been saving up to start a family business, kind of my dream. It wont take much to get it off the ground, we are zoned Ag
    Sales tax exemption received
    Business plan written
    Paper work ready to be filed for llc
    Appropriate insurance in place.
    Capital in place no debt will be required
    Most of all he wants to do this as a family, is there a down side? My goal is to have an extra income for the family and to build a business together for his future. The plusses as i see it are that he can earn money faster than a minimum wage job, we wont have to drive him to work, and he can work in a safe environment.


    Thoughts?

    As a parent of a son that went to work off the farm the summer he turned 14, this is my opinion.
    Let him get his own job where he wants to work, leave him alone at work, If he wants to work a new family business than do it.
    Just remember that your dream might not be his dream in a few years or months.
    I would suggest that he gets a entry level job at one of the local stores or restaurants.
     

    churchmouse

    I still care....Really
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    187   0   0
    Dec 7, 2011
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    Speedway area
    As a parent of a son that went to work off the farm the summer he turned 14, this is my opinion.
    Let him get his own job where he wants to work, leave him alone at work, If he wants to work a new family business than do it.
    Just remember that your dream might not be his dream in a few years or months.
    I would suggest that he gets a entry level job at one of the local stores or restaurants.

    ^^This^^^^

    I worked at those places. It had a profound effect on me advancing up and away from those places.
    Let him find his way. If you have don your job he will be just fine out in the world.
     

    gregkl

    Outlier
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    33   0   0
    Apr 8, 2012
    11,868
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    Bloomington
    I think it would be great if he got into entrepreneurship with you. BUT: :) I think everyone should work at a restaurant for awhile. Doesn't need to be fast food. He could try Culver's or a another chain. My son and daughter learned so much doing that kind of work. How to interact with people of different color, religion, language, level of education, etc..They learned that hard work and an honest and pleasant attitude got them places. They learned how to be a good customer.

    Though I would venture that most folks on this forum wouldn't step foot in a Starbucks, they are educational places to work. My son still makes the best coffee!:)Plus, they empower you to make decisions to take care of the customer. You learn how to keep the customer happy and be fair to the company.

    I also think that everyone should work in manufacturing also. It teaches discipline and organization and efficiency.

    He's 15. He will become a much more rounded person if he gets some experiences outside of the "family business". Just my opinion, but both of my kids are now in their 30's and are doing really well.

    And I was raised in a family where my father owned a business and I worked for him, but I also worked a lot of other jobs during my teen years.

    All jobs will teach you something that you can carry with you for the rest of your life.

    And lastly, working a few "crap" jobs will motivate a person to do what they need to do to get the career they really want.
     

    Vigilant

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    21   0   0
    Jul 12, 2008
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    Plainfield
    As a business owner, I would caution you to let him get a job away from the family/family business first. That way, he receives a paycheck in return for his hard work. Then transition him into the new family business with the warning, that employees get paid FIRST, owners and family next. I started out too big, and learned a lesson quick. Just like the meme, everyone wants to be an owner, until it’s time to start doing owner ****. Owner ****, includes paying employees before yourself. I weathered a lot of no money months before I caught on.
     

    yeahbaby

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    Dec 9, 2011
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    Our youngest son started his first job working at a local movie theatre in high school. Then went on to local college to study computer science. It just so happens I am a tech support manager for an IT department. While in college and during the summers he work for me. Actually I could not hire him being a family member. So one of my colleagues hired him to make it official. Once on board I pretty much managed him with the rest of my team. He gained valuable technology support and installation experience with us. And is now a successfully working technology for a local credit union. He is only 24, so he has plenty of time to set his career path.
     

    lovemachine

    Grandmaster
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    17   0   0
    Dec 14, 2009
    15,601
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    Indiana
    I have been working in the family business for 23 years now. I started when I was 13. I’m 36 now. Family machine shop. My grandpa and great uncle started it. Now my father and uncle run it. When they retire, my cousin and I plan to run it.

    This was my very first job. From the start, my dad told me that I won’t get any special treatment. I’m just an employee like everyone else. The last few years, I’ve been learning more about how to run the business.

    It can certainly work. Just as long as this is what your son truly wants.
     

    Spear Dane

    Grandmaster
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    3   0   0
    Sep 4, 2015
    5,119
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    Kokomo area
    Ok here is my question? Our son is going to be 15 shortly, and wants to get a job. There are not a lot of options short of fast food, convenience stores etc. Honestly none of these options seem like good options to me.

    So for years i have been saving up to start a family business, kind of my dream. It wont take much to get it off the ground, we are zoned Ag
    Sales tax exemption received
    Business plan written
    Paper work ready to be filed for llc
    Appropriate insurance in place.
    Capital in place no debt will be required
    Most of all he wants to do this as a family, is there a down side? My goal is to have an extra income for the family and to build a business together for his future. The plusses as i see it are that he can earn money faster than a minimum wage job, we wont have to drive him to work, and he can work in a safe environment.

    Thoughts?

    I think you have the wrong idea of what helicopter parent is. Your plan sounds awesome. I say go for it.
     

    eldirector

    Grandmaster
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    10   0   0
    Apr 29, 2009
    14,677
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    Brownsburg, IN
    IMHO (and my kid isn't old enough to work, so focus on the H): let them work retail for a bit to practice working with the general public (how to smile when you really just want to scream). Let them work something like bailing hay or de-tasseling corn (is that still a thing?) to learn what hard work REALLY is. Then turn them loose on the family business, but with a new appreciation for the opportunity they have.

    BTW: A true helicopter parent would be attending the job interview WITH their kid, and complaining that the interview questions are too hard.
     

    wcd

    Grandmaster
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    0   0   0
    Dec 2, 2011
    6,274
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    Off the Grid In Tennessee
    I think you have the wrong idea of what helicopter parent is. Your plan sounds awesome. I say go for it.
    Well maybe? Problem is my past i suppose, my brother was murdered on the job. So that plays heavy on my mind

    He had his first job yesterday moving mulch for the day, and it did not go so well, he did his part worked hard all day, was supposed to get paid at end of the day, which did not happen was told sorry it will have to be some time next week!


    Ah that answer did not fly so well with Dad! Lets suffice to say that my expectations were clearly conveyed that this needs to be taken care of. He was with 5 of his FFA friends who all agreed to help with day labor.


    My sons AG teacher wants him to drive the tractor during hay season, so i think that will be a good start.

    I talked to him last night because I want to make sure he wants to do it as well, and he understands its going to require off hours and hard work. Looks like we are about to be farmer's. I think he wil l learn a lot and it will afford him the opportunity to work off the farm as well.
     

    fullmetaljesus

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    6   0   0
    Jan 12, 2012
    5,851
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    Indy
    There's lots of hard lessons learned Ed that's need to e learned when working fast food. In my opinion it can make you a better person to your fellow man.

    I say give him a summer or two in fast food then ask him if he wants to continue or join your business.


    But I'm not a parent, so my opinion is probably not what youre looking for.
     

    rem788

    Marksman
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    0   0   0
    Apr 19, 2009
    239
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    indy west
    Just some thoughts from my experience:
    - Some of my fondest memories are from when I was working with my father on the farm. Eventually we farmed together, then I farmed the family farm on my own. My dad was pretty easy going so we got along very well.
    - I did work for others, every spring worked for local farmers driving tractors, mucking hog crap, the usual farm stuff. Worked two summers baling hay. Every kid should have to bale hay, they would learn what hard work is and immediately start looking at post secondary training.
    - My son worked for me one summer. We both knew after that he would never take over the business, just not his thing to work on cars. We got along fine, he just wasn't interested. He's a sales director now for a start up, definitely his thing.
    - My daughter worked for me two summers during college. Best service writer I ever had. Great with customers. But not her thing either. She is now an award wining art teacher.
    I tend to agree with others recommending you let your son work somewhere else for someone else first. Then if he wants to work in the family business let him transition into that with a little experience outside the family. A lot will depend on your relationship with your son. If you work well together things will be great, if you do not work well together the potential for family strife is high. Be prepared for him to walk away at some point if he decides the family business is not his thing. Be prepared to relinquish control at some point also. Your goal should be to prepare him to take over the operation at some point and you will need to step back. Not as easy as it sounds . Good luck.
     

    russc2542

    Master
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    24   0   0
    Oct 24, 2015
    2,111
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    Columbus
    I like the idea but I'll mirror what some others have said: let him get some outside experience too. work the s****y jobs to appreciate the good ones. Deal with a crummy boss. Learn how to maintain calm in front of irate customers. Have fun with corporate setting the rules, hours, and wages.

    plus he's 15, who knows what he's gonna want to do in 6 months.

    I had more but I realized it was turning into a pointed rant about a certain mindset of folks that hire in part time in high school and promote by endurance then complain about how they've suffered and how bad they have it vs college hires directly to a higher position with other job experience.
     

    PistolBob

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    4   0   0
    Oct 6, 2010
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    Midwest US
    I worked in fast food when I was in high school 40+ years ago. This is what I learned at 16 years of age. How to smoke, how to get booze, how to find fast easy women. Now, I don't smoke, I don't drink, and I don't chase women. I refused to allow my children to work in a restaurant, instead they mowed grass, worked with a landscaper I knew, framed houses, and started their own hauling business which they ran for almost three years. They are all college educated and have graduate degrees, I do not. Mom and I celebrate 40 years of wedded bliss this year....I was too busy smoking, drinking and chasing women....old Dutch saying " We are too soon old, and too late smart."
     

    Hookeye

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    4   0   0
    Dec 19, 2011
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    armpit of the midwest
    I worked in a fam biz as a kid.
    Learned that the public is full of idiots and a**holes.
    And when they're hungry, they're worse (was restaurant).

    That biz is 3rd gen probably going to 4th.

    Worked with some engineers that left the farm for a while, but got back into the fam biz in their 40's.
    Some did it to help their parents. Some did it because they liked/missed that line of work.

    I'd let the kid get his own PT job and deal with others. Might appreciate the family biz and join in later.

    Another big thing I saw with kids working in fam biz.......they work 6 or 7 days a week, while kids working elsehwere get time off to blow the money they made.
    Yup, booze smokes and wimmins.

    Lots of young guys waste their money on that.

    Others buy hunting and fishing gear ;)
     
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