Dominant hand, you say? Two words, I say Toto Washlet. About $430 on Amazon. Your wife will be glad you got one. Warning: You may have a hard time keeping the wife off it.
NO. Just no. That's what the shower is for. I don't want water spraying up my ass from the toilet. That's just nasty. And then what do you wipe with? Have you seen what toilet paper does when it comes into contact with a wet surface? Yeah, it falls apart. So you're gonna wipe your ass with what, your bath towel? No, I'd just as soon not have to do a load of laundry every time I gotta take a dump.
Seat has a remote control. Pressure and direction controls. You can make adjustments based on feel. It helps to wink at the water stream. Heated water. Deodorizing fan comes on when patron has a seat. Girl and boy settings. No paper required. It has a built-in, heated drying fan. I have had 3 major abdominal surgeries in the past 18 months and had my plumber buddy install it before the first. The surgeries might as well have left me with crocodile arms. Money well spent!