Trying to figure out how to help my wife feel better?

[wcd]

Yesterday she was doing her obligatory after hours school volunteering at the MJ Christmas Parade. She is a teacher at the Middle school. As such she often volunteers to help out the FFA kids with a lot of things one of them being assisting with the float. The FFA float was behind another float where a 7 year old made the choice jump off of it, later resulting in the Child's death. Being right there she attempted to aid the child until the ambulance could get through the crowd. She made sure the child's airway was open, but she knew odds of survival were minimal.

Having learned a lot of tough lessons in life I am far from the warm and fuzzy type. She is really torn up over the incident, even though she did not know the child.

Would appreciate prayers for the family and my wife.

 

[Bigtanker]

That's rough. I'll keep all involved in my prayers.

Keep her around those that love her. And keep praying.

 

[Hoosierdood]

I recommend finding a good grief counselor who she can talk to. People often feel the need to bottle their feelings up. She needs to talk to someone about this, and it shouldnt be you.

Best thing you can do for her is find someone and schedule an appointment.

 

[CampingJosh]

I'm going to agree that this is the kind of thing that calls for a professional.

 

[femurphy77]

These types of things are tough, I've been first on scene to two fatalities. I did what I could with my Boy Scout first aid merit badge but there was no saving either. I didn't start shaking untIl I got home from the first one, the next day on the second one. Every body deals differently, I was lucky, both of mine were adults.

 

[wcd]

I recommend finding a good grief counselor who she can talk to. People often feel the need to bottle their feelings up. She needs to talk to someone about this, and it shouldnt be you.

Best thing you can do for her is find someone and schedule an appointment.

From what I understand there will be grief counselors at the school tomorrow and she is going to speak with one of them. Seems all I can do is be there at this point. It was like watching in slow motion. This is going to sound awful but she is a lot more emotional than I so I sometimes have difficulty in the warm and fuzzy department.

On a side note it looks like they have raised over $40k to help the family.

 

[wcd]

These types of things are tough, I've been first on scene to two fatalities. I did what I could with my Boy Scout first aid merit badge but there was no saving either. I didn't start shaking untIl I got home from the first one, the next day on the second one. Every body deals differently, I was lucky, both of mine were adults.

I think you are absolutely right everyone deals with things differently. I think life experiences can sometimes define our reactions for better or worse.

 

[Cameramonkey]

From what I understand there will be grief counselors at the school tomorrow and she is going to speak with one of them. Seems all I can do is be there at this point. It was like watching in slow motion. This is going to sound awful but she is a lot more emotional than I so I sometimes have difficulty in the warm and fuzzy department.

On a side note it looks like they have raised over $40k to help the family.

Just remember we all have our strengths and weaknesses, so don't beat yourself up about that. There is a reason compassionate people teach and a-holes shoot people and blow stuff up (for the greater good).

The best thing we can do is understand our strengths, accept our weaknesses, and know when to defer to others. No shame in the latter. In fact, tis better to know your limitations and defer to others than try to slog through what you suck at and fail miserably.

I'll add y'all to my prayers.

 

[NHT3]

If life was fair no one would have to be witness to such a terrible event. I will pray for your wife and your family because unfortunately what affects her will affect all of you.

 

[churchmouse]

You have gotten the best responses already. I am speechless. Like FM I have been on 2 horrible accident sites both with multiple fatality's nd they were years apart. I still have the occasional nightmare from the experience.

I am not sure how I would deal with a child passing. Just doubt I could.

Be as strong as you can for her. And as gentle as possible. In our prayers.

 

[Bennettjh]

Oh my goodness. I feel so bad for your wife. I'll definitely be praying for you both and the child's family. How terrible.

 

[Hatin Since 87]

Prayers sent for your wife’s emotional strength, and the child’s family. This is tragic.

As for making her feel better. Just be there for her. The fact you are here seeking ways to help her shows you care, and that’s all she needs right now. Comfort her and give her a arm to crawl into. Try to get her mind off of it. Maybe take her to see a movie, invite a couple of her friends over to play cards, take her shopping and stop for dinner, etc. If you guys sit around talking about it and discussing the tragedy, it’s only going to prolong the emotional pain. A child’s death is not something that you can be “cheered up” from, only time will heal that. It’s best to keep her busy and her mind off of it until time can pass. I’m really sorry this has happened to your wife. I get emotional reading these stories, I could not imagine the pain she’s in witnessing firsthand. I will keep your family in our prayers. Take that girl out for some steak and a Long Island iced tea, get her mind off it.

 

[Ddillard]

Prayers for all involved. The death of a child is not easily taken at ease.Time and prayers for all those involved.

 

[hoosierdoc]

Ugh. Sorry to hear. That’s awful. She didn’t cause it to happen. Her lack of training did not contribute to to the death. Whatever happened, did he get run over?, would likely have ended the life even if it happened in the parking lot of the trauma center.

good on her for trying to help

https://fox17.com/news/local/mt-juliet-community-grieves-for-child-killed-at-christmas-parade

I was first on the scene of a lady hit by a car in Destin while crossing the street. I knew she was going to die. I’m an ER doc and all I could do is exactly what your wife did.

 

[rob63]

Prayers sent.

 

[wcd]

Ugh. Sorry to hear. That’s awful. She didn’t cause it to happen. Her lack of training did not contribute to to the death. Whatever happened, did he get run over?, would likely have ended the life even if it happened in the parking lot of the trauma center.

good on her for trying to help

https://fox17.com/news/local/mt-juliet-community-grieves-for-child-killed-at-christmas-parade

I was first on the scene of a lady hit by a car in Destin while crossing the street. I knew she was going to die. I’m an ER doc and all I could do is exactly what your wife did.

I do not mean for this to come across as uncaring, Unfortunately he made the choice to disregard repeated directions to remain seated, and decided to jump off, resulting in him getting caught up in trailers wheel and following the rotation of the tire.

I feel for his parents, an all involved, Mom was trying to grab him, and Dad was driving the truck pulling the float.

 

[actaeon277]