Are We Teaching Kids To Be Bullied?

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  • Ingomike

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    Matt Walsh asks "we teach our kids to be doormats and then wonder why there is a "bullying epidemic"?

    A couple of questions he brings up are, is bullying worse now than in the past? We passed laws, tried to medicalize the situation, and spent millions on PSA's and have made no real dent, why?

    He believes that bullying comes from human nature and nothing will change that bullies exist.

    But that the evidence is clear, kids are spiraling downward into depression and sometimes suicide at a much higher rate.


    Bullying exists but the kids being bullied are not equipped to handle it. The bigger person turns the other cheek, walks away and that is "strong" and "courageous" but the children never feel strong, they are feeling like a punchline.

    That is the gist of the article, read it and share your take. I think he may be right...

    https://www.dailywire.com/news/wals...-then-wonder-why-there-is-a-bullying-epidemic
     

    Gabriel

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    I didn't read the article, but I would agree with you shortened version of it.

    I think the main difference with bullying now and bullying when I was a kid is technology. Back in my day you might get punched, get your head dunked in the toilet, or shoved in a locker or trash can (which happened to me a couple times :laugh:), but now you can publicly embarrass someone by posting things online and having all your peers see it.

    I went to a cub scout meeting at the grade school I attended yesterday and couldn't help but notice anti-bullying signs everywhere on the walls. I don't know if bullying has actually increased or if they're making a mountain out of a mole hill. It's been almost 30 years since I was in school, so I'm a little out of the loop.
     

    DoggyDaddy

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    I think part of it is technology (FB, instagram, etc.) but also "zero tolerance" policies. If a bully punches a kid, and the kid defends himself, then the kid defending himself gets in as much trouble as the bully. We used to be able to settle things on the playground and in most cases, after the fight, you went back to being buddies again at best, or if the bully got the worst of it, the bullying stopped. Then again, we settled things with our fists and not with knives and guns (even though we usually had a knife in our pocket and/or a gun out in the car in high school).
     

    Ingomike

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    So just another negative to add to the list that social media has borne on society. The convenience that it brought has a great cost. Studies consistently show that people are lonelier than ever though they have "friends"...
     

    Rookie

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    Zero intelligence or zero tolerance plays a huge part. All it does is teach kids to become victims since there's no way to come out on top. Years ago, my son had a kid throwing food at him during lunch. When he sprayed water on the kid, the kid got pissed and started hitting him. The principal told him that he shouldn't be suspended, but because of zero tolerance, the principal's hands were tied. A few years later, another kid was shoving my son around in the hallway. When my son had enough, he put a hurting on the kid. When he was taken to the office, he told the principal he figured if he was going to get in trouble, he might as well get his money's worth.

    The first kid hassled my son until he switched schools. The second kid never gave him another problem.
     

    GodFearinGunTotin

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    Didn’t read the article either but another theory I’ve heard/read that seems plausible is the 24/7 nature of social media. Used to be, if you were the victim, you were typically only subjected to the bully’s actions at school, on the bus, or whatever. Once school was over, that was it for the day or weekend or summer, etc. Now, the kid can never get away from it. Their lives are tied to social media so much more than old farts like me.

    Yeah, and the 0-tolerance stuff...that’s just a cop out. It allows the powers that be to not have to decide guilt and mitigating circumstances. It allows them to not have to stand up and defend their decisions. It’s not justice.
     

    Ingomike

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    If you guys have time to post, for gods sake, please read the article. This is a huge topic for our kids. If we get it wrong then millions of kids come into adulthood not ready for the rigors of the real world. The answers will come from the people not some academic, that is how we got to where we are now...
     

    DoggyDaddy

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    If you guys have time to post, for gods sake, please read the article. This is a huge topic for our kids. If we get it wrong then millions of kids come into adulthood not ready for the rigors of the real world. The answers will come from the people not some academic, that is how we got to where we are now...
    I read the article and pretty much everything I said agrees with it.
     

    Clay Pigeon

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    Both of my sons took 11-12 years of Okinawan karate before they finished high school and enlisted. One earned his 2nd dan and the other his 1st dan.
    One always stood his ground and the little one got pushed around, his bullying ended early in HS with a boy that had bullied him for years.
    Both now have earned belts since enlisting in the Marine's, one a Brown and the older has his 1st Black.
    The world can kick the ***** out of you, prepare your children.

    The middle is my older kid.
    View attachment 84084

    My little one is the far left kid.
    View attachment 84085
     

    tv1217

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    I was in high school when zero tolerance started becoming a thing. There were a handful of kids I should have beaten the brakes off of for the way I was treated but then my dad would have kicked my ass for getting suspended. I'm not always a well adjusted adult because of it. So I'd say yes.
     

    churchmouse

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    I was in high school when zero tolerance started becoming a thing. There were a handful of kids I should have beaten the brakes off of for the way I was treated but then my dad would have kicked my ass for getting suspended. I'm not always a well adjusted adult because of it. So I'd say yes.

    I got out before zero tolerance kicked in. Bully's have been with us since dirt. Hell I got bullied by 2 sisters in 5th grade. So yeah I feel that because my old man was scared we would cost him a nickel for any actions we may take. So I took it until trained to do other wise. Then the tables turned. Yes I got in some trouble for defending myself and for defending others bein bullied. And caught it at home for it. But looking back I should have stepped up more often than I actually did.

    I despise a bully.
     

    OurDee

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    I read it. I was the little runt (smaller than everyone) in kindergarten in the mid 60s. I was also the bully. I lived in the country and only had little sisters till that year. Mrs. Keifer (the teacher) spent most the year trying to break me. I did settle down. But, make no mistake about it, I was still the boss. The turning point came in second grade. I hadn't bullied anyone since kindergarten. One day some of my classmates did something wrong on the playground. I was not near them or involved, but when they lined everyone up, I got stuck in the line and got spanked even though I protested of my innocence. From that day on I swore that if I was going to get punished anyway, I was going to do the deed. It was another 20 years till I calmed down. I wasn't the bully in school after kindergarten. I was getting bullied in High School. One day I was at the top of the bleachers with my bully. I grabbed his head and rode it to the floor below. I was never bullied again. The thing that stops bullies is standing up to them. You don't have to win. You have to make it too costly for them to continue. I have confronted over a half dozen bullies in my life. You have to take their power.
     

    bwframe

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    Are we really raising our kids or are we letting the electronics do it?

    Years ago when the Internet was early, many professionals urged parents to supervise their children's online activity. Sadly, just like with the television, "parents" discovered that electronic baby sitters was a convenient way to dodge the job. :twocents:
     

    Trigger Time

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    We never had zero tolerance. If someone needed their ass kicked they got it. They handled discipline individually. We also didnt have cops roaming our halls like they have to now because parents dont parent, and they tell their kids that their feelings matter more than following their damn rules. The world has gone to hell because of bleeding hearts.
    There were bullies. I started standing up for myself around 8th grade and after the first time I did I wasn't bullied ever again. After that the only fight I got into was normal male testosterone stuff. I think afterwards every single one of us became friends.
    Ive taught and am teaching my kids that they CAN defend themselves. I dont give a **** what these schools say. I grew up in the real world and I know what its like.
    I wont force my kids to be victims.

    If one person of any age lays hands on another person, accept the consequences for your actions. Maybe that person will beat you up, or the law will have to fight for them. Either way, keep your damn hands to yourself. Its not that hard to do.
     

    two70

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    Bullies have always been around but they weren't always enabled as they are now. With zero tolerance policies punishing the victim equally or worse than the bullies, the likelihood of someone standing up to them only decreases.
     

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