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  1. #1
    Grandmaster

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    Do you have a Death Book? Or you're going to die, plan for it!

    So, bit of a RANT. My wife and her sister are going thru hell because their bother doesn't have a Healthcare Directive, Will, Power of Attorney, etc, etc. No plans for his small business. He is now on life support and really no hope of having a meaningful life if he comes out of it. He'll need 24x7 care. Even if my wife could he's out of state. So that's not possible. His sisters are going through hell because they don't know what his wishes are when it comes to extreme measures for life support. His employees are freaking out because nobody knows what will happen to his business.

    The wife and I have everything in our Death Book. All our wishes for funeral arrangements, healthcare directives, etc are in it. Copies to our daughter. All I can feel right now is how selfish he was, and yeah his not my BIL, he always referred to me as his sister husband, no big lost their.

    /RANT

  2. #2
    Master KittySlayer's Avatar

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    In addition to wills,POAs, etc. this document is great to have. I have all the data on a couple pages that I printed and laminated and put in m BOBs. Have a thumb drive with scans of supporting documents. Also a copy to my sister. While useful in death it is also handy in a SHTF situation. Not all things from FEMA are bad.

    https://www.fema.gov/media-library-d...8_20190904.pdf
    When seconds matter the 2nd Amendment matters.

  3. #3
    Grandmaster MCgrease08's Avatar

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    I prefer to call mine a Legacy Box instead of a Death Book, but same concept. I've got one started with most of the important stuff like will, financial and medical POAs, insurance policies, kid's birth certificates, etc.

    I still remember when my now ex-father-in-law remarked that he didn't want to have a will because he didn't want his five kids fighting over his stuff.

    This is the same guy who won't talk to his sister because they have been fighting over their dead mother's house for the past 21 years. They've never even cleaned it out. It's been sitting with all her stuff in it the entire time. The house is literally falling apart while they bicker over it.
    Well, I ain't always right but I've never been wrong,
    seldom turns out the way it does in a song.
    Once in a while you get shown the light
    in the strangest of places if you look at it right.

  4. #4
    Marksman

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    Wife and I just went through all this and now have all planned out and our funerals paid for. Now we have to get our two kids together and tell them what their duties will be and our wishes on when to end things. It is all laid out just want to reinforce our decision for the kids.
    A relative of my wife's was in that type of a mess with no paper trail and her kids for reasons known only to them would not "pull the plug." The poor woman laid in a bed for a couple years with no hope of ever getting better and unable to communicate with anyone. I always told my kids if they let me live like that I would return and haunt them, now they will have things in writing. Jim.

  5. #5
    Master KittySlayer's Avatar

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    How property and bank accounts are titled can make post death issues easier for those left behind that are already grieving over the loss of someone they love. In addition, careful beneficiary designations in retirement plans helps.

    Six months after my father’s death I am still chasing some loose ends, but for the most part he had things well in place to accomplish his goals after his death.
    When seconds matter the 2nd Amendment matters.

  6. #6
    Grandmaster Mr Evilwrench's Avatar

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    My mom and dad had everything set up, so there were no questions going in. I have a book called "I'm Dead. Now What?" where I can put the little bits and pieces. My mom has hers locked down. Then there are the accountant and lawyer. I'll inherit all of them, too. I'll be all set up.
    Geeking out on ancestry; 17th great grandson of Geoffrey Chaucer, and a bunch of dukes, knights, princesses, kings and stuff. Of course, once you turn over a rock and one king crawls out, you're pretty much infested with them. And what did I tell you? Charlemagne, Holy Roman Emperor, Charles "The Hammer" Martel, and a truckload of others. This is getting better: "The Bonny Earl O'Moray" was an ancestor, and the origin of the term mondegreen: They slew the Earl O'Moray and Lady Mondegreen

  7. #7
    I still care....Really
    churchmouse's Avatar

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    I sat down and made a video. Yes its a VCR so with reading this I need to update it and het it put on one of those little round flat plastic things.....

    I have been writing things down but it will just be my daughter handling everything. She knows of our wishes pretty clearly but having it all documented helps.

    Now where did I stash that VCR camera.
    AKA..Thor. Odin son. God of thunder.
    But you can call me John.....Force.

    If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn’t

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  8. #8
    Grandmaster Tactically Fat's Avatar

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    My mother-in-law died suddenly 5-6 years ago. There was NOTHING prepared / planned. She'd told her kids that there was a will, but we couldn't find it. And even contacting every lawyer in county and in every surrounding county - no one had her as a client. The only will we found was several years older and included her ex husband. Only he wasn't the "ex" when that will was written. It. Was. A. Mess. Incredible stress upon her 4 children (and spouses).

    My father-in-law died 2-3 years ago after a quick and marked decline in health. He also had NOTHING prepared / planned. He was probably technically indigent, but still lived on his own in a hovel with his 2 large dogs. That situation wasn't as bad as my wife's mom, but still bad. Of those 3 kids, only my wife was the responsible one. 1 lives in Sydney, Australia, the other was too young + also out of state. There wasn't even enough there to do a small-estate affidavit (total assets under $50k).

    Contrast that with my own father - due to no fewer than 2 chronic / debilitating conditions, he knew his quality of life was headed downward for 10 years or so. He was always prepared and lined out anyhow, but, he made SURE that he had things lined out and prepared well ahead of even his decision to stop dialysis and enter in-home hospice.

    Get Your Ish In Order, if for no other reason, than to make it easier on your children.

  9. #9
    Master NKBJ's Avatar

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    Yeah, we're set. Meanwhile I'm enjoying giving stuff to youngsters (you know, kids, like 45 and below) and the burden will be lighter on my executor when the time comes.

    Make note of reminder: Send Jake the English cast iron coffee grinder he pulled off the wall in south Texas in '87.

  10. #10
    Master spencer rifle's Avatar

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    We have even pre-paid for our funeral, and it also covers any minor children. Wills, POA, health care directives, all in the safe. Accounts are JTWROS. All accounts, insurance policies, passwords, etc. are spelled out, along with people I trust who can help my heirs sell the watches and firearms.

    When my dad died suddenly at 2 AM, my mom's sister had just gone through that recently, and knew exactly what to do. We headed for the bank right when they opened and pulled out as much money as they would let us. Probate held up everything for 6 months, but my mom had enough to live on in the meantime.

    We have a trust set up, but haven't transferred anything into it yet. Will help our estate avoid a lot of probate hassles.

    Last edited by spencer rifle; 06-25-2020 at 09:58.
    Rights are only as secure as the ability to wield sufficient force to defend them. - J. Neil Schulman

    “There's nothing wrong with the country a bad recession couldn't fix.” - Irving Kristol

    "He's not a tame lion..."

    1 Samuel 13:19

    Psalm 149:6

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