I just went from Hell to bad in about 5 hours

The #1 community for Gun Owners in Indiana

Member Benefits:

  • Fewer Ads!
  • Discuss all aspects of firearm ownership
  • Discuss anti-gun legislation
  • Buy, sell, and trade in the classified section
  • Chat with Local gun shops, ranges, trainers & other businesses
  • Discover free outdoor shooting areas
  • View up to date on firearm-related events
  • Share photos & video with other members
  • ...and so much more!
  • Libertarian01

    Grandmaster
    Site Supporter
    Rating - 100%
    3   0   0
    Jan 12, 2009
    6,006
    113
    Fort Wayne
    At 1218 this afternoon I received a phone call from my father that my mother was collapsed on the floor and he couldn't wake her, what should he do? (My father his mid Alzheimer's.)

    I told him to call 911 and I'd be there in 15 minutes. On my way I called 911 to make certain they were called and he had. The dispatcher got my make and model of vehicle and would let them expect me. Just as I pulled up my mother was on the gurney being wheeled to the ambulance. The paramedics made no bones about it looks like a stroke and a bad one. They took her to the Parkview Regional Medical Center up north and we'd meet them there.

    I had my father get cleaned up and off we went. The ER doctors were great, along with the staff, and they allowed both of us back there due to my fathers memory issues. Yep, all the symptoms of a bad stroke. They discussed with me giving some "super" blood thinner, clot buster medicine. However, due to my fathers memory issues we couldn't be certain about the time she collapsed. Apparently, this nuclear weapon of stroke medicine will do more damage than good the longer you wait. The decision was made not to give it.

    So then it became the massive waiting game. Tests were run. Results were taking an eternity, at least for me. One problem is my mothers veins. They are extremely small and blow very easily. So the idea of "just" drawing some blood in itself was thrown out. It should have gone faster but I don't blame them.

    After about three (3) hours some test results weren't back but the initial CAT scans were. They looked, to the ER docs, like there might(?) not have been a stroke. She got put on antibiotics and saline. She was also intubated due to low oxygen. So she is now on a respirator. She was seriously doped up for the intubation process so is completely unresponsive. More waiting.

    I love the neuro doctor! She came in and said she was just assigned my mother and had no clue what was going on, could we please fill her in? I am always impressed when someone is willing to admit a lack of understanding. I fill her in and we go from there.

    Around 1800 hours my mother is transferred upstairs, room #2120. Ironically, these are the days of both mine & my sisters birthdays.

    Now the REAL fun begins! My father has memory issues. He cannot understand what the medical staff are telling him. I need to be there. HOWEVER, according to the plague rules, only ONE (1) of is is allowed back - EVER!!!:xmad::xmad::xmad:

    I want to speak with someone in charge. About 45 minutes later I get tag teamed by two (2) well educated, well meaning, people hiding behind being cogs in the machine. (I had tried calling patient advocacy but they had left for the day). They lay the blame on the Indiana Governors plague rules. So now I'll call the governor tomorrow. I at least got the bossy one to admit there was no "law" or statutory limit to our going back - that Parkview could change the rule but they wouldn't. Right.

    According to the plague rule at Parkview I will NEVER be allowed to visit my mother, unless she is dying. It could have been me to go back and visit, but then my father would never be able to. One (1) visitor only, ever.:xmad::xmad::xmad::xmad::xmad::xmad::xmad::xmad:

    I get them to at least have the neuro doctor call me. I love this woman! The doc called me about 90 minutes later. Both CAT scans are clean. The one from the top of the head shows NO bleeding. The one from the side shows NO blockage. She did explain that it could have been a very minor stroke in the center of the brain, and if so the MRI she has ordered will give us a definitive answer, within about 24 hours. My mother now does have mild pneumonia in one (1) lung, probably from aspirating while unconscious. She is being treated for that. The doctor will call me when she thinks my mother is good enough to be taken off of the respirator.:yesway:

    All this time, from the beginning, I am calling my sister and other loved ones keeping them in the loop. This gave me something to do.

    What really vexes (I can't use the word I want to) me is that I could not be there to comfort my father while he was in the room, all alone, with my mother!
    I am so livid it is beyond imagination. I cannot put into words my rage at this absolute acquiescence to arbitrary, BS rules. And I call them BS because if they were TRULY worried, then no one would be allowed in. There would be NO exceptions for terminal patients. Their answer would be that they don't want to be cruel to family members. Well, fine. But this means they ARE willing to be cruel to me and many others like me. So now we come to the fact that they are willing to be depraved, just not that depraved.

    I will end on a good thought, at least for me. My mother is in a good place. She has a good doctor and staff. My father can visit. The doctor will keep me informed so I can help make some good decisions for my mother. It doesn't appear to be life threatening any more. I have a good deal to hope for her safe and quick return home.

    Regards,

    Doug
     

    Brad69

    Grandmaster
    Rating - 0%
    0   0   0
    Jul 16, 2016
    5,104
    77
    Perry county
    Stay strong I am a not a man of faith but I hope the best for you.
    Both my parents went suddenly one day eating ice cream the next gone.
    I still miss them every day it doesn't help that I drive by the cemetery about four times a week.
     

    terrehautian

    Master
    Rating - 100%
    3   0   0
    Jan 6, 2012
    3,491
    84
    Where ever my GPS says I am
    This is one of those instances where the one visitor rule needs to be relaxed on a case by case basis. My youngest daughter has a check up tomorrow and only one parent is allowed to go. This doesn't bother me as much as it is just a check up and I get an hour or so at home alone. There is no set rules by government on visitation, but more then likely recommendations. The hospital my wife works at has no visitation other then ER, surgery, peds/ob, and end of life. ER is limited to one, meaning if one of my kids get sick and my wife goes in, I have to wait in the car for news.
     

    churchmouse

    I still care....Really
    Emeritus
    Rating - 100%
    187   0   0
    Dec 7, 2011
    191,809
    152
    Speedway area
    This is one of those instances where the one visitor rule needs to be relaxed on a case by case basis. My youngest daughter has a check up tomorrow and only one parent is allowed to go. This doesn't bother me as much as it is just a check up and I get an hour or so at home alone. There is no set rules by government on visitation, but more then likely recommendations. The hospital my wife works at has no visitation other then ER, surgery, peds/ob, and end of life. ER is limited to one, meaning if one of my kids get sick and my wife goes in, I have to wait in the car for news.

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^^

    Doug we will include you in our prayers and outbound positive thoughts to you and yours.
     

    indykid

    Grandmaster
    Rating - 100%
    4   0   0
    Jan 27, 2008
    11,859
    113
    Westfield
    Sorry to hear of what you are going through.

    Your post sounds exactly like one you should send to the governor. Let him know how inhumane his "laws" are and that some times common sense should prevail over panic.

    My prayers and good luck
     

    Cameramonkey

    www.thechosen.tv
    Staff member
    Moderator
    Site Supporter
    Rating - 100%
    35   0   0
    May 12, 2013
    31,682
    77
    Camby area
    Praying for you as well, Doug.

    Sounds like you have a STELLAR team of docs that understands both sides and is working to do what is best based on the totality of circumstances. (letting Dad stay but calling you to call the shots remotely) I'll also be praying that for shift changes its communicated that the husband in the room is not the one to go to for directives and to call you instead.

    And another side-prayer for somebody to be willing to bend the rules. These blanket hard and fast rules are REALLY getting in the way of progress.
     

    hoosierdoc

    Freed prisoner
    Rating - 100%
    8   0   0
    Apr 27, 2011
    25,987
    149
    Galt's Gulch
    Sorry to hear. it's possible she has a seizure also, are they doing an EEG?

    the visitor policies are frustrating for all. ultimately they are to keep the other patients safe from a bunch of people moving through the hospital.

    we have had to escort people off property who refuses to stay in their family's room and wear a mask at all times.

    it sucks for everyone. sorry you are caught up in it. the negative CTA is a good sign. make sure they do an EEG.
     

    Libertarian01

    Grandmaster
    Site Supporter
    Rating - 100%
    3   0   0
    Jan 12, 2009
    6,006
    113
    Fort Wayne
    Wow. Sorry to hear this, Doug. I'll pray for your mom and your family.


    Thank you for your prayers.


    Stay strong I am a not a man of faith but I hope the best for you.
    Both my parents went suddenly one day eating ice cream the next gone.
    I still miss them every day it doesn't help that I drive by the cemetery about four times a week.


    Thank you for your thoughts. I am terribly sorry for your loss.


    This is one of those instances where the one visitor rule needs to be relaxed on a case by case basis. My youngest daughter has a check up tomorrow and only one parent is allowed to go. This doesn't bother me as much as it is just a check up and I get an hour or so at home alone. There is no set rules by government on visitation, but more then likely recommendations. The hospital my wife works at has no visitation other then ER, surgery, peds/ob, and end of life. ER is limited to one, meaning if one of my kids get sick and my wife goes in, I have to wait in the car for news.


    I agree. I am not asking just because my father is old, but because he cannot relate anything that he is told. He asked me at least 30 times if I had called my sister. His heart and thinking is in the right place, but he cannot remember much short term. Long term he is still pretty good at Jeopardy!:)


    ^^^^^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^^

    Doug we will include you in our prayers and outbound positive thoughts to you and yours.


    Thank you Sir.


    Best wishes, Doug.


    Thank you Sir. Most kind.


    Good luck and prayers sent, Doug. Hope they can solve what is causing the trouble. Prayers for your dad as well.


    Thank you Sir.


    Sorry to hear of what you are going through.

    Your post sounds exactly like one you should send to the governor. Let him know how inhumane his "laws" are and that some times common sense should prevail over panic.

    My prayers and good luck


    Thank you Sir. I don't now know that it IS the Governors fault. Last I read his EO said "...hospitals may limit...":xmad: They're using him as a damn cover. Pass the buck.


    Praying for you as well, Doug.

    Sounds like you have a STELLAR team of docs that understands both sides and is working to do what is best based on the totality of circumstances. (letting Dad stay but calling you to call the shots remotely) I'll also be praying that for shift changes its communicated that the husband in the room is not the one to go to for directives and to call you instead.

    And another side-prayer for somebody to be willing to bend the rules. These blanket hard and fast rules are REALLY getting in the way of progress.


    Thank you Sir. These rules are ridiculous. Say a family of four, mom, dad, twin 18 year old sons. One of the sons suffers a severe medical event. Who is allowed to visit? The father, who may have bonded the most with his sons. The mother, who is extremely caring of her child. Or the twin, who may have an extremely tight bond? To even consider splitting them apart in their hour of need is cruel and callous. Especially when you consider they all live in the same bloody household. What one is exposed to all are exposed to. Ergo, the risk of three (3) visitors is not higher than of one (1), as they all share the same air in a confined space.


    Sorry to hear. it's possible she has a seizure also, are they doing an EEG?

    the visitor policies are frustrating for all. ultimately they are to keep the other patients safe from a bunch of people moving through the hospital.

    we have had to escort people off property who refuses to stay in their family's room and wear a mask at all times.

    it sucks for everyone. sorry you are caught up in it. the negative CTA is a good sign. make sure they do an EEG.


    Thank you Sir Doc. The first thing the neuro doc mentioned was a seizure. Said she may have fallen from a seizure. (Have I said I love this lady?) I will try to mention it ASAP.

    For a minor update the hospital called. My father missed the call. He was convinced my mother had died and they were calling to tell us.:( I called up and spoke with her nurse. She is fine. They were just calling to get info about her for the MRI. I don't know when they will do it but at least they have one less piece of paperwork to fill out.

    Now I have the direct number for the floor nurses station. At least I can call directly and get straight to her nurse for any questions.

    -----------------

    An extremely good friend of mine just had his mother pass away a few monthes ago. He told stories of how insane it was. He had to put her in a nursing home and wasn't even allowed in to inspect the home(s), thanks to the plague. He saw some wild stuff. He believes her lack of familial contact took several monthes off of her life, due to depression and other factors.

    I always understood what he was talking about on an intellectual level, but until today I don't think it registered on an emotional level. The sound of my father crying over the phone because he knew I was waiting downstairs and couldn't come up ripped my guts out. I couldn't be there to comfort him. That feeling should NEVER be felt by anyone - especially when caused by the intentional infliction of unwavering bureaucratic hegemony. I am beginning to think I have had a very slight brush with how Soviet citizens felt during the height of the cold war. To be subjected to the arbitrary force of a monolithic state hiding behind the curtain of public safety is truly grotesque.

    Regards,

    Doug
     

    DoggyDaddy

    Grandmaster
    Site Supporter
    Rating - 100%
    73   0   1
    Aug 18, 2011
    102,022
    77
    Southside Indy
    So sorry you and your family are going through this Doug! I will keep you in my prayers too. I just got news yesterday that my oldest sister is in really bad shape. Pneumonia and Covid. They (the hospital staff) were talking to my niece (her daughter) about end of life decisions so it's not looking good. Like your situation, they are allowing only one visitor (my niece). Knowing that I may never talk to my sister again is weighing on me heavily.

    It wasn't a surprise, as she has many underlying health conditions and frankly we're surprised she has survived this long, even without the introduction of Covid into the mix. Still doesn't make it any easier. My other sister and I haven't said anything to our 98 year old mother yet.
     

    mom45

    Momerator
    Staff member
    Moderator
    Site Supporter
    Rating - 0%
    0   0   0
    Nov 10, 2013
    47,141
    149
    NW of Sunshine
    I also can related. On Monday, my mother was admitted to the local hospital. She had a fall several weeks ago and banged up her artificial knee pretty badly. She did not want to be taken to the hospital as she felt there was nothing they could do for her. She and dad are both DNR's/comfort measures only and she is not a candidate for surgery so she just decided there was no need to go and that was that. I kept telling my sisters that are also involved with her care that we NEEDED to get that knee checked as it was getting worse looking every time I saw her (I go every to weeks to clean and the fall was about 7 weeks ago). For the past month, it has been draining and they have been changing the bandage at least twice a day. One sister is a nurse who has been giving treatment advise from a wound nurse she works with...and the sister doing the dressing changes was sending daily photos of the wound. I am not a nurse but was uncomfortable with the lack of progress I would see when there. I don't live close enough to visit daily.

    They finally took her to the hospital to be checked after a significant increase in drainage over the weekend. They immediately admitted her and tested for infection, etc. Scans indicate no significant injury to the knee or bone but infection is a concern so they transferred her to Lafayette yesterday. She had to go via ambulance for insurance reasons so my sisters up here came back home to tend to dad. My sister from Indy (the nurse) drove up to meet her at the hospital in Lafayette. When she got there, she was not allowed in. NO visitors. Mom gets confused on details (85 years young with some mild dementia) so she felt she could play the dementia card and get access to mom and the staff. Nope....she had to communicate via phone from her car. Mom's cell phone is dead. I don't know if she has the charger for her phone. The sister handling all of this and I haven't talked in nearly a year so I'm only getting info via group texts when updates are shared.

    I'm glad she is at the hospital where her knee surgeon is so he can manage her care, but this is ridiculous. She was already super depressed because she and dad haven't left the house since last November other than a few doctor appointments due to winter and then COVID hitting. Now, she is depressed and probably quite angry.
     
    Top Bottom