When is it worth not carrying?

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  • Pyroponce

    Marksman
    Rating - 0%
    0   0   0
    Jan 31, 2011
    209
    18
    South Bend
    I’m wondering if it’s ever worth leaving your firearm at home/in a vehicle if you’re not compelled to do so. I myself don’t leave my pistol behind for any garden variety No Guns sign (although I’ll exercse some discretion and CC when I would normally OC. I am also sympathetic to the arguments behind not patronizing businesses that prohibit firearms on their property. I do not typically go to that extreme on account of my wife who tolerated my guns and has a few of her own but she has never made daily carry a priority.

    Today, though, my wife was hanging out with her mother and I was invited to join them at her house after I left work for the day. But as I was getting in the car, my wife texted me to let me know that my mother-in-law and her husband wanted me to leave my pistol at home. I was rather taken aback by this sentiment since I carry almost every day and have done so for almost 18 months now and I have CCd and OCd in their house on many occasions. I elected to not join my family since it’s about a half hour drive and would rather make dinner at home instead of pick up fast food on the way to them, but I made it clear to my wife that I was not comfortable having to choose between carrying and family.

    I guess I’m asking how far should I force this issue.
     

    bocefus78

    Master
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    39   0   0
    Apr 9, 2014
    2,023
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    Hamilton Co.
    I'm not married so my thoughts may differ from yours. Anyway, I would have went and just left it in the truck at their home. It's not worth starting family drama over imo. After all, their house, their rules.

    Now if you don't like the inlaws, and the wife won't blow you crap over not going, then keep doing what you did today. After a while of non attendance, they may change their tune.

    Then there is always just cc, stfu, and don't give hugs.
     

    AngryRooster

    Master
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    18   0   0
    Apr 27, 2008
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    Outside the coup
    I carry all the time, everywhere, unless it's illegal to do so. As far as the family situation, I probably would opt not to go and express my displeasure at the ultimatum just as you did, providing it was an event at their house. If I was forced to go then it would either get discretely carried anyway or locked in the safe in the car. If it was to go someplace for dinner or other event then the answer would have been tough ****.

    Next time they want to come to your place you could always request that they do it armed.
     

    Bfish

    Grandmaster
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    13   0   0
    Feb 24, 2013
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    I'd make it their choice I guess you could say. "I'm going to carry my pistol (concealed) regardless of what you have to say, and if you are not comfortable with that then don't invite me to your home." Or "I understand and I'm sorry I'm not welcome anymore" But I would not change to appease, but at the same time not throw a fit about it or anything.

    If they choose to come to your house then that's their problem. I feel like that is being respectful or not an a-hole about it, but also not going against your principals to appease theirs. They were probably all stirred up from watching CNN hahahah.
    My inlaws are very cool, however, that's how I'd handle it personally. I've got friends who've handled it that way.
     

    bwframe

    Loneranger
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    93   0   0
    Feb 11, 2008
    38,170
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    Btown Rural
    What's your [STRIKE]ex-[/STRIKE]wife look like? Pics? ;)

    Just kidding, my friend.

    It would be good however, to get a dialog of what turned the inlaws off about your carrying though. Something to be learned one way or another.
     

    CraigAPS

    Expert
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    3   0   0
    Jun 26, 2016
    903
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    Muncie
    I have similar issues when dealing with my family. I carry, my dad carries occasionally, my BIL bought one (but has yet to shoot it). Guns are not completely unheard of in our family, although a fairly recent thing, but I still don't carry at my brother's or sister's houses. They've both been shooting with us, but they just aren't as comfortable with them. I do it out of respect. That being said, I NEVER leave it at home. If I go to one of their houses, it goes with me but stays in the car. Holster stays on (I have, heretofore, carried OWB and I'm not d***ing with taking it on and off all the darn time!), gun goes back in as soon as I'm in my car. I should also note that I'm looking at getting a single stack to carry when I'm around them. So, maybe I'm leaning toward my ability to defend them and myself if necessary outweighs their comfort levels.... But, regardless, that's what I'm doing for the moment.
     

    luger fan

    Shooter
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    0   0   0
    Mar 8, 2018
    308
    18
    Indy
    I went through EXACTLY the same thing with my inlaws. I explained that me carrying is for THEIR protection also. They listened but didn't agree. I was very polite but I refused to go back. They were ALWAYS welcome here but not me there as long I exercised my second rights.

    Marriage didn't last long anyway. In fact it could classify as a 'drive by marriage.':dunno::dunno::dunno::dunno::dunno::dunno:
     

    KittySlayer

    Grandmaster
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    4   0   0
    Jan 29, 2013
    6,473
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    Northeast IN
    But as I was getting in the car, my wife texted me to let me know that my mother-in-law and her husband wanted me to leave my pistol at home.

    What a bunch of wimps not telling you in person and making your wife do their dirty work. Mother-in-law or her limp wristed hubby need to sack up and tell you in person why they are suddenly concerned about you carrying in their home. If they ever get around to asking you in person not to carry in their house you could respond...

    I love my wife very much and could never forgive myself if something horrible happened to her that I could have stopped if I was carrying the proper tools/weapon. What is it about my carrying in your house that makes you feel unsafe? We can address what needs done to make you feel safe about my holstered gun when I visit.


    I wouldn't rock the boat with the inlaws.

    Deep conceal and that's a fair compromise.

    Probably after a conversation with your wife this may be the practical solution. Happy Wife, Happy Life.
     

    CraigAPS

    Expert
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    3   0   0
    Jun 26, 2016
    903
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    Muncie
    I went through EXACTLY the same thing with my inlaws. I explained that me carrying is for THEIR protection also. They listened but didn't agree. I was very polite but I refused to go back. They were ALWAYS welcome here but not me there as long I exercised my second rights.

    Marriage didn't last long anyway. In fact it could classify as a 'drive by marriage.':dunno::dunno::dunno::dunno::dunno::dunno:

    Awww. The great institution of marriage!! When you love someone so much, you give them half your stuff when they leave!
     

    AngryRooster

    Master
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    Apr 27, 2008
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    Outside the coup
    Hmmm, this topic reminds me of my first/only infraction. Back in 2014 there was a thread from a guy that threw his son in law out of the family reunion. IIRC (I may be fuzzy on some of the details, it's been a while) he was pretty rude about it, threw him out and insisted that his daughter stay and not leave with her husband. The guy's crime at the reunion, he carried his pistol. The one who threw him out ranted about being the only one who was allowed to carry. To this day I stand by my comment.

    donkey-hole.jpg



    That thread is long gone. I've looked for it a few times and have never found it again. I believe the other member was shootered at some point as well, he is still on my ignore list regardless.
     

    eldirector

    Grandmaster
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    10   0   0
    Apr 29, 2009
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    Brownsburg, IN
    Guess I'm super lucky with my in-laws. Not luck, really. They raised the type of girl I wanted to marry.

    That said, I've never taken anything back to the car, or left it there in the first place. I WILL conceal intentionally on the rare occasion that I know it maybe become a negative talking point. So far, though, all my family, anyone I consider a friend, and pretty much anyone who is a friendly acquaintance knows I carry. Even the few fairly liberal folks I now have never made an issue of it.
     

    Cameramonkey

    www.thechosen.tv
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    35   0   0
    May 12, 2013
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    Camby area
    I wouldn't rock the boat with the inlaws.

    Deep conceal and that's a fair compromise.

    Thats what I do. I will carry it in if I dont want to carry on me or cant have it on me all the time (they have a pool). In that case it stays in my man bag inside a thing called a life jacket. I dont have to unload and the whole thing is safe. Of course now ALL the kids in the fam are old enough to know not to touch it anyway. BiL is a little PTSD from the sandbox and openly says he doesnt want a gun because of that reason, which I respect. I dont think they realized how much I carry until a discussion following their newly graduated college boy's negative comment on my wife's FB post about ALLOWING teachers to be armed. I pointed out that I carry more than he realized and more often than not when he sees me Im armed. I havent been down since I made that statement simply due to lack of opportunity. I even offered to take him and his siblings to the range to educate them and he never even bothered to respond. So we will see what happens. Who knows, maybe they have decided to never invite us again and we just dont know it yet. LOL

    https://www.opticsplanet.com/sportlock-mse-lj-2-steel-lifejacket-for-pistols.html

    I do like the idea of house rules. "I cant come if Im armed? Well you must carry if you want to come to my house. " LOL
     

    eldirector

    Grandmaster
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    10   0   0
    Apr 29, 2009
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    Brownsburg, IN
    I do like the idea of house rules. "I cant come if Im armed? Well you must carry if you want to come to my house. " LOL
    I am SO getting a "visitor's gun" and holster to issue to my unarmed guests! Either a Hi-Point, so they feel properly chastised, or a fancy 1911, in an attempt to win them over.
     

    AngryRooster

    Master
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    18   0   0
    Apr 27, 2008
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    Outside the coup
    I am SO getting a "visitor's gun" and holster to issue to my unarmed guests! Either a Hi-Point, so they feel properly chastised, or a fancy 1911, in an attempt to win them over.

    "You must be armed when you are on my property. I will not be held liable for your inability to protect yourself. Here is your loaner gun, be sure you can provide your own upon your next visit."
     

    KellyinAvon

    Blue-ID Mafia Consigliere
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    6   0   0
    Dec 22, 2012
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    I am SO getting a "visitor's gun" and holster to issue to my unarmed guests! Either a Hi-Point, so they feel properly chastised, or a fancy 1911, in an attempt to win them over.

    The Hi-Point of shame or the fame of the 1911?
     

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