Verbal Agility!

[bwframe]

Verbal Agility! with Craig Douglas of Shivworks

[video=youtube;QwKvve8pXWU]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwKvve8pXWU[/video]

 

[bwframe]

"I'm sorry, cant help you sir." Maybe getting a little old and tired?

 

[MCgrease08]

Good advice from Craig as usual. I highly recommend everyone take a class on managing unknown contacts, even people that don't carry a gun. You have many more opportunities to use verbal skills than you will for using a pistol.

I remember an encounter I had prior to taking a MUC course that could have gone very badly. I was driving home from work one night around midnight and my route took me down 38th St. in Indy. I lived at 34th and College Ave at the time, so not a great neighborhood.

Right around 38th and Capitol a guy coming from the opposite direction turns left right in front of me, causing me to slam on the brakes. I mostly avoid him, but clipped the rear passenger side bumper of his car, causing a busted headlight on the front of my car. We pull into the liquor store parking lot on the corner (where he was heading) and he stumbles out along with a buddy. It's clear they're both drunk. His beater car was fine, but I'm ready to call the cops because the accident was clearly his fault and I don't want to pay for a new headlight. Well the first words out of his mouth were that he doesn't want to get police or insurance companies involved. I'm guessing he had no insurance.

He starts closing the distance on me and getting right up in my personal space. He's slurring his words and telling me he's going to take care of me. If I just give him my phone number he'll call me the next day and meet me with some cash to pay for the light. Then he gets even closer trying to put his arm around my shoulder like we're old drinking buddies. His friend comes around to my other side and now they're starting to bracket me. At this point my spidey-senses are blaring and I want nothing to do with either of these guys. If I pull out my phone to call the cops I know I'm going to have problems, and this guy's still grinning at me trying to get his arm over my shoulder and around my neck. Fortunately he was real drunk and I was able to blade away and open up some distance without having to really push him away aggressively.

At that point I just said, "don't worry about it man, **** happens. You guys look like you're having fun. I don't want to spoil your night. I'll just go down to Pick-a-Part tomorrow and get a new headlight." I got back in my car and got out of Dodge. At that point the $100 for a headlight was the price I was willing to pay to avoid getting stomped or worse had I tried to call the cops and sat there waiting for them to show up.

It wasn't until I took an Managing Confrontations class that I realized how naive and dangerous it was to let him get that close to me in the first place.

 

[Libertarian01]

Horrible advice on the accident issue!

You never, ever, ever, ever, EVER say you are at fault. NEVER!

Once you say you are at fault, you ARE at fault! Especially today with dashcams, cell phone cams, witnesses, etc.

My father sold insurance for many years. He had a client tell the LEO that was investigating on the scene of an accident that he didn't see the other car and he was at fault. Well, turns out the reason he didn't see the other car was that the driver was drunk off his butt and behaved erratically, driving too fast as well. Legally, the other driver was at fault EXCEPT that my dad's client said he was at fault. Game over.

Horrific advice for an accident. So in 99.999% of the cases you avoid nothing other than anger and watch your insurance go up for three (3) years. 0.001% of the time golly, your insurance still goes up and you avoid a confrontation.

Never say it's your fault.

Regards,

Doug

 

[MCgrease08]

Horrible advice on the accident issue!

You never, ever, ever, ever, EVER say you are at fault. NEVER!

Once you say you are at fault, you ARE at fault! Especially today with dashcams, cell phone cams, witnesses, etc.

My father sold insurance for many years. He had a client tell the LEO that was investigating on the scene of an accident that he didn't see the other car and he was at fault. Well, turns out the reason he didn't see the other car was that the driver was drunk off his butt and behaved erratically, driving too fast as well. Legally, the other driver was at fault EXCEPT that my dad's client said he was at fault. Game over.

Horrific advice for an accident. So in 99.999% of the cases you avoid nothing other than anger and watch your insurance go up for three (3) years. 0.001% of the time golly, your insurance still goes up and you avoid a confrontation.

Never say it's your fault.

Regards,

Doug

I don't think the point was to tell the cop you're at fault. Just tell the angry guy it was your fault so he'll calm down a little until police arrive. After that, you don't have to worry about ticking the guy off because the cop is there.

 

[bwframe]

Gotta watch the video all the way before jumping to conclusion. The well established SELF DEFENSE trainer is explaining how to deescalate the situation BEFORE the cops get there.

Douglas also does specify telling the cops the true story when they arrive.

 

[chezuki]

Horrible advice on the accident issue!

You never, ever, ever, ever, EVER say you are at fault. NEVER!

Once you say you are at fault, you ARE at fault! Especially today with dashcams, cell phone cams, witnesses, etc.

My father sold insurance for many years. He had a client tell the LEO that was investigating on the scene of an accident that he didn't see the other car and he was at fault. Well, turns out the reason he didn't see the other car was that the driver was drunk off his butt and behaved erratically, driving too fast as well. Legally, the other driver was at fault EXCEPT that my dad's client said he was at fault. Game over.

Horrific advice for an accident. So in 99.999% of the cases you avoid nothing other than anger and watch your insurance go up for three (3) years. 0.001% of the time golly, your insurance still goes up and you avoid a confrontation.

Never say it's your fault.

Regards,

Doug

You are absolutely right, that is horrible advice. I’m honestly surprised the OP had the audacity to post such nonsense. Never admit fault.

 

[chezuki]

You are absolutely right, that is horrible advice. I’m honestly surprised the OP had the audacity to post such nonsense. Never admit fault.

See what I did there? I don’t believe a word of what I just posted, but for a moment it allowed you to feel right and in control, leaving no need for further escalation on your part.


Sometimes in the moment, it’s more important for the other guy to feel right, than for you to be right... which I believe was exactly Craig’s point.

 

[bwframe]

See what I did there? I don’t believe a word of what I just posted, but for a moment it allowed you to feel right and in control, leaving no need for further escalation on your part.


Sometimes in the moment, it’s more important for the other guy to feel right, than for you to be right... which I believe was exactly Craig’s point.

 

[numbaonecoltsfan]

Had myself a situation today too...
Some fine gentleman was under the impression that I drove to close his car that was parked blocking a huge portion of the road. Two words ended the whole situation. "my bad" could have easily escalated especially since I disagreed with his assessment of my vehicular position.

 

[chezuki]

I MUC’d an aggressive vendor at the Motorcycle expo today. Happens at least once nearly every time I go to the fairgrounds, but usually with other patrons or lot roaches, not vendors.

 

[LP1]

I'm a firm believer in not admitting fault. However, I think the reaction to MCGrease's post is harsh. Given the totality of the situation, he made the best choice for surviving the situation. It's also apparent that there were lessons learned.

 

[LP1]

...Happens at least once nearly every time I go to the fairgrounds...

If this is true, what are you doing to frequently get into that kind of situation?

I often go to events at the fairgrounds, and have minimal difficulties.

 

[chezuki]

If this is true, what are you doing to frequently get into that kind of situation?

I often go to events at the fairgrounds, and have minimal difficulties.

I wear a bright red shirt that says “VICTIM” while walking with my face buried in my phone and a fistful of cash in plain sight.