Gunkid, Gecko45, Mall Ninjas, and the Tactical Wheelbarrow

[whiskeytangofoxtrot]

I didn't know if everyone has ever has the pleasure of knowing who these funny ass fools were. Warning, if you read a drink or eat, it could come back up from laughter. Figured a disclaimer was appropriate.


MySpace.com - Gecko45 - 32 - Male - PLEASANT VALLEY, NEW YORK - www.myspace.com/tacticalsecurityenforcer

Shrine of the Mall Ninja » LonelyMachines

CALIBERS :: View Forum - Ask Gecko45, the original Mall Ninja!

Just google some of these words and laughter will ensue when you read some of the posts.

 

[Disposable Heart]

The Lonely Machine's Shrine is awesome. Has the joker's exact words. Hilarious no matter how many times you read it. The Forum isnt bad, but can be forced in it's humor. You know he's joking in the forum, but not in the Shrine.

 

[Fenway]

I think biosbasher / elite team fighting is going to catch up with these clowns

 

[SilentWarrior1]

I tried to read the whole thing... I just couldn't do it. I did LOL though.

 

[Soundslikejosh]

OK I will admit I am too lazy to read through the whole thing in search of it.... what is this reference to the Tactical Wheelbarrow? Is that a joke or is it part of the Gecko45 stuff? You just can never be sure with that guy.

 

[jerbur6]

that boy needs his meds. hes not even in the same area code as reality. i hope he gets some help before he grows up a weapon in his hands is a scary thought.

 

[Lars]

Re Gecko45: His talk about how awesome "special weapons" SW3 and SW5 clones are and how bad real H&K rifles are should be a good clue as to how firm a grasp he has on the real world.

I like my HK, but I don't think it's the greatest thing since sliced bread. What I do know is that the Special Weapons clones are all looked at as the laughing stock of the clone world. At least as far as everyone on the HKPro site seems to think.

 

[Disposable Heart]

Sad thing is that we had a guy in Toledo OH (High School) that seriously thought he was Raiden (did I get the name right) from Mortal Combat. He was convinced that there was a Dark Lord under the school and ran around making strange noises. Stopped really quick when they put him on meds after he attacked a football player, apparently thinking he was a minion of some sort. He didnt drop out. After the meds, he calmed himself down, but still thought himself some kind of ninja (got expelled after bringing numbchucks into school). Man, that was years ago.

Lesson is: Some folks are beyond help, but they are around us. If you bring their world view into question, many will come to their senses. Others will cling on and fall deeper into despair. Sad, but makes for wonderful posts on HK91! <evil>

 

[Fenway]

:wtf:

Sad thing is that we had a guy in Toledo OH (High School) that seriously thought he was Raiden (did I get the name right) from Mortal Combat. He was convinced that there was a Dark Lord under the school and ran around making strange noises. Stopped really quick when they put him on meds after he attacked a football player, apparently thinking he was a minion of some sort. He didnt drop out. After the meds, he calmed himself down, but still thought himself some kind of ninja (got expelled after bringing numbchucks into school). Man, that was years ago.

Lesson is: Some folks are beyond help, but they are around us. If you bring their world view into question, many will come to their senses. Others will cling on and fall deeper into despair. Sad, but makes for wonderful posts on HK91! <evil>

 

[Disposable Heart]

Seriously, hand of god. The kids name was Kyle or something. Weird guy. But seriously, some of the weirdos out there actually believe what they think they are. I have millions of stories about that kid. Sad, but each with their own charm.

 

[seamus]

We had a kid in my class who thought he was a clingon warrior?! Sadly, He hung himself about 12 years after graduation.

 

[indymike]

Sorry to dig up an old thread but the OP owes my employer about $200 bucks and owes me some pain and suffering money.

I kept hearing about Gecko45 over at HKPRo in the forums so I searched here and read the Shrine of the Mall Ninja link at Shrine of the Mall Ninja » LonelyMachines for over almost an hour. Early on, I spit tea all over my work monitor, possibly ruining it and later almost choked and spilled soup all over my keyboard as the laughter triggered near convulsions. The ensuing coughing fit was horrible. Never has laughter had such a power negative impact on my bodily functions and tech gear at work. Here are some of the offending quotes from Gecko45 that almost killed me:

"...when our team saved the life and possibly the virginity of the Mayor’s nephew"

"Meanwhile, my ass is one the line so your fat butt can go to the mall and pick up the latest copy of “Computer Gaming Monthly” without getting jumped and sodomized in the mall bathroom."

"I am the Sergeant of a three-man Rapid Tactical Force at one of America’s largest indoor retail shopping areas."

"BTW A one time experiementation while in the military, does not make one a homosexual."

"I have personally saved the ass-virginity of several young boys in my days. But there are many brave men like myself out there who risk their lives daily, so that boys like yourself can live a normal heterosexual life."

"But then again I think of the mayors nephew, his face distored with tears and terror, the GAP employees who asked for my autograph, and had to settle for a cover identity’s signature, the flashbangs, and their acrid scent, the smell of napalm in the evening breeze, as I crouch behind a shopping cart in the parking lot"

but the absolute best line on the entire page came from someone responding to Gecko45's plan of using two ceramic plates to stop .338 Lapua rounds from killing him:

"If Plan A is to take multiple .338 shots to the back, you really need to come up with a Plan B.” LOL that is a classic!

That's as far as I could get in reading this stuff, I will let my abdominal muscles, lungs and throat rest overnight and try to finish reading it tomorrow.
Either this Gecko45 guy is real and really believes what he writes, which is frightening as hell, or this is one of the best comedic writers I have EVER come across and is bound to win multiple Emmys.

Sorry if this is old news to most of you but I just discovered this gem and had to comment.

 

[whiskeytangofoxtrot]

If I remember right, they caught gunkid on some firearm laws that were broken, I'll dig it all up after I'm off work.

 

[mrjarrell]

If I remember right, they caught gunkid on some firearm laws that were broken, I'll dig it all up after I'm off work.

LOL. I remember gunkid. And you're right, as I recall he's currently doing time for violating some gun related laws. Hope his wheelbarrow is safe!

 

[ThrottleJockey]

Geko 45 is a LEGEND!!! Anyone who's anyone in the firearm/survival/sniper/RTKBA community knows that guy and his walmart rifle.....I would LOVE to meet him in person sometime for his autograph......lmao, roflmao. What a maroon.

 

[ST19AG_WGreymon]

Geko 45 is a LEGEND!!! Anyone who's anyone in the firearm/survival/sniper/RTKBA community knows that guy and his walmart rifle.....I would LOVE to meet him in person sometime for his autograph......lmao, roflmao. What a maroon.

I've heard his name mentioned in many a gun forum. Anyone have it archived somewhere?

 

[451_Detonics]

This quote from his My Space page just made me spot....

We carry Springfield XD's with .40JHP ammo, but I always carry some FMJ bullets which I slit and X on the point, making them incredibly powerful.

Sad thing this guy is/was real and I think actually lived in this delusion...

 

[Fargo]

LOL. I remember gunkid. And you're right, as I recall he's currently doing time for violating some gun related laws. Hope his wheelbarrow is safe!

John Melvin Davis, aka "Gunkid" was last heard of in federal custody over a variety of firearms charges. He was basically a mental patient who never failed to bring amusement to the various forums he registered on and was banned from.

Gecko45 was a brilliant man who hopefully is still out there..

Best,


Joe

 

[Comp]

"Gunkid"

Wasn't he from Illinois if I remember right?

 

[mrjarrell]

John Melvin Davis, aka "Gunkid" was last heard of in federal custody over a variety of firearms charges. He was basically a mental patient who never failed to bring amusement to the various forums he registered on and was banned from.

Gecko45 was a brilliant man who hopefully is still out there..

Best,


Joe

Yep. That's him. He was right crazy dude. He was a member of a forum I was on and he did get banned, (and it wasn't an easy forum to get banned in, at the time). Maybe he's getting some help for the crazy while he's away.