Not in *MY* House!

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  • oze

    Mow Ho
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    Feb 26, 2018
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    Hello all!

    Newbie here, and am just now doing the research on which handgun to buy to be my very first one. I have been happily married to my college sweetheart for almost 36 years, and would prefer to remain in that state. However, when I first floated the idea of purchasing a handgun a couple of months ago, she went absolutely nuts. You'd think that I had asked her if I could bring a cardboard box full of scorpions, or worse, another woman home. The degree of her visceral response surprised me. We have 2 children (24 and 19), but are pseudo-empty-nesters, with both away at college for most of the year. No young nieces, nephews or mentally disturbed people ever visit us.

    The genesis of my wanting to own a firearm at this tender age is the fact that I no longer feel confident that, if an intruder broke into our home, I would be able to take care of business with the aluminum softball bat that's been by my bedside since before I was married. Most likely I was kidding myself for 40 years, and the wisdom of the years finally opened my eyes to reality. I have begun my due diligence, researching different platforms and trying them out at the range. I took a couples' intro to firearms course, which I ended up attending by myself after Mrs. oze backed out. I purchased a yearly range membership, and want to take as much more formal training as possible. OK, OK, I'll also admit that shooting is a whole lot of fun! Sorry for the repetition for those of you who may have already read my introductory post, but leaving the range after poking holes in a paper target with a Sig Sauer P938 (as part of that class), I was positively giddy. Even the smell was intoxicating!

    So, does anyone have any hints or ideas? What do you think of this safe? https://www.thegunbox.com/products/echo Safe and stylish? I'm going to show that to her tonight, see what she says. I am going to take my son the an intro class when he comes home for Spring Break, taught, by the way, by the same petite female who was my instructor. Maybe her son can help out? Thanks for listening to the vent.

    Dave
     

    oze

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    Thanks, another great article. See, becoming a supporter has already paid for itself on Day 1!
     

    spec4

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    IMO the bigger issue is to get your wife to buy in to this. My guess is she has never been around firearms and believes the crap tossed out by the media. Maybe after your son tells her how much he enjoyed the range she will give it a try. This is a process.
     

    churchmouse

    I still care....Really
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    Dec 7, 2011
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    Thanks, another great article. See, becoming a supporter has already paid for itself on Day 1!

    I learned very early on that my spouse/family were anti gun. Not anti 2A just no guns in their house.
    After some time and patience all but her brother are hand gun owners.
    Well, the sister married to the douche bag lib in Virginia but that is another story.

    Be patient. It is not "Just" her house you know.
     

    oze

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    You all are totally correct. I am hoping that my son (Mama's favorite) can talk her into coming to the class, even if she decides not to shoot. I think that much of her anger, besides programming from Good Morning Today Evening News, is fear of the unknown. Gotta take the mystery out of it!
     

    sht4brnz

    Sharpshooter
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    Aug 29, 2012
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    Find one of her friends that isn't opposed to EDUCATING themselves in this scary arena. It will certainly help her comfort level.
    Try to arrange a beginners course for four (wife, son, wife's friend, yourself) with a seasoned instructor.
    PLEASE start any new shooter with a 22LR !!!!
    It's necessary to remove any factor of discomfort from the experience, especially if they already don't want anything to do with it
     

    oze

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    See, here's an example of a forum newbie mistake. As the status of the Women and Firearms forum stands now, an excellent answer to the question before I even asked it is directly above this thread. Doh! Great post by Tinman, and thanks to the mods for making it a sticky. I'll get the hang of this interweb thingy one of these days.
     

    oze

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    So you asked your wife's permission to bring a gun into her home? And she said no...
    Umkay.....
    I wish it was as simple as that. I thought that she and I had reached an understanding that I could get a gun as long as it would never be in the house if I wasn't there. So I got a great deal on a fantastic gun and brought it home. My son and I were going to take it to the range the next day, and we were discussing it. Mrs. oze heard us, and, without going into details, I discovered for the first time what a true phobic reaction looked and sounded like. She admits that the level of fear she has for guns is unreasonable, and that she is going to seek help. I'm telling you, it scared the hell out of me.
     

    MarkC

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    Although Mrs. oze has what she recognizes is an unreasonable fear, it is normal for someone to be fearful about that which he or she does not understand, especially if the item in question is potentially dangerous.

    Although my wife's father had guns while she was growing up, she had very little exposure to firearms. As I was an LEO when we got together, she quickly learned to have firearms as part of our daily life. Education and exposure, along with me being reasonable with storage, etc, went a long way.
     

    oze

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    Although Mrs. oze has what she recognizes is an unreasonable fear, it is normal for someone to be fearful about that which he or she does not understand, especially if the item in question is potentially dangerous.

    Although my wife's father had guns while she was growing up, she had very little exposure to firearms. As I was an LEO when we got together, she quickly learned to have firearms as part of our daily life. Education and exposure, along with me being reasonable with storage, etc, went a long way.
    Thanks, Mark. She is not even against guns per se, and told me that she is glad that my son and I can have something in common: shooting at the range. I forgot to mention that a one of the driving motivators for my wanting a gun of my own is cheapness. It kills me to fork over $10 rental fees every time I go to shoot. The only problem for now is, where to store the gun in between range visits.

    I'm hoping for my friend and his wife to come over some day when it warms up so that we can go to an outdoor range. They both own handguns, and she loves to shoot.
     

    rugertoter

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    I learned very early on that my spouse/family were anti gun. Not anti 2A just no guns in their house.
    After some time and patience all but her brother are hand gun owners.
    Well, the sister married to the douche bag lib in Virginia but that is another story.

    Be patient. It is not "Just" her house you know.
    This is true. She would just stand by and see you get the crap knocked out of you, or maybe even worse, and she could possibly be treated even worse than you. Personally, I would do what I thought was best. JMHO.
     

    russc2542

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    Oct 24, 2015
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    Thanks, Mark. She is not even against guns per se, and told me that she is glad that my son and I can have something in common: shooting at the range. I forgot to mention that a one of the driving motivators for my wanting a gun of my own is cheapness. It kills me to fork over $10 rental fees every time I go to shoot. The only problem for now is, where to store the gun in between range visits.

    I'm hoping for my friend and his wife to come over some day when it warms up so that we can go to an outdoor range. They both own handguns, and she loves to shoot.

    That's what a good belt and holster is for.

    I kid... but kinda not. Let your wife go at her own pace. push too hard and it's two steps back. I don't know what you got or how you dress but (only after she's gone from full phobic panic attack on sight to nervous uncertainty) start out carrying concealed around the house. eventually she'll notice and you can point out that it's been there for however long and nothing bad has happened. some time later open carry and put it on the coffee table while you sit together on the couch, etc.
     

    Xterminator

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    Mar 11, 2018
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    Buy wife a 22..it's a soft shooter, no recoil, not load. Take her to range & shoot steel targets. Instant feedback if you hit steel, my wife loves it . Plus if she's having fun then you can buy more guns,safe ,ammo.
     
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