Use of "Scare Tactics" to Introduce Firearms

[Pami]

In the Dating & Guns thread ( clicky: https://www.indianagunowners.com/fo...ing_and_guns_from_the_female_perspective.html ), a poster suggested that he used "scare tactics" to help introduce the idea of guns in the house to his newly installed live-in girlfriend. (While you will shortly see I don't agree with this idea, in his defense, it was not his only idea, just one of them.)

In that post, "scare tactics" was referring to bringing up current news stories that involve women having to defend themselves from violent attackers. This is the "mild" version of scare tactics and is brought up with amazing frequency.

This thread ( clicky: Women & Guns :: View topic - Why do they? ) was brought to my attention as well. It was started by pax, who also reads and occasionally posts on INGO, and who also has done an amazing job with her own very successful, instructional site Cornered Cat. That thread discusses a more extreme version of "scare tactics" that surprisingly is suggested more often than one would think.

The intention of these "tactics" is prove the point that women need to be able to defend themselves because Bad Guys exist and do intend to harm them.

My question is this: is the use of any kind of "scare tactics" acceptable, and if so, to what level? Why or why not?

My opinion:

1. Discussing current events as they happen to be on the news make a great conversation starter. However, I don't believe they should be used so extensively that they scare the woman into making her paranoid about her personal safety. It is a good way to introduce that she should build her situational awareness skills. It is a good way to get her thinking about how she would defend herself if she were ever in that particular situation. Hearing about it on TV or the radio and then discussing it is good. Reading a newspaper or a website while she is in the room and mentioning it to her to start the discussion is good. Going out and finding these articles and stories to nag her constantly about them is NOT good. The key point here is moderation. She needs to come around to the decision that she needs to be prepared to defend herself in a manner she decides is acceptable to her. She cannot be forced into deciding that firearms are the end-all-be-all answer to whatever situation she may have to face in her lifetime.

2. In regards to the thread on the Women & Guns forum mentioned earlier, using extreme types of scare tactics such as setting up a "safe violent encounter" (is that an oxymoron or what?) are COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE. There are so many things that could go wrong with that situation (on the mild side: end the relationship; on the opposite end of the spectrum: one of the "attackers" dead by a Good Samaritan coming to her rescue) that it's just a dumb, dumb, dumb, DUMB idea.

Please discuss.

 

[Dogman]

If after watching tv, reading the newspaper, being out in public someone doesn't believe that there are animals out there that live to hurt others, then the only thing using scare tactics is going to do is make them withdraw and deny to themselves that anything bad is going to happen to them.
Sometimes it takes something bad happening to a person in order for them to understand how the world really is, just hope that nothing does happen or if it does that she or he lives to understand that and is able to change.


JMO, I agree with you 100% regarding #2.

 

[indykid]

Not saying I go along with the way it comes across, but if you don't think scare tactics work, try telling someone that it is ok to put 11 imported parts into their kit build of an AK, or any other imported rifle.

 

[Dogman]

Not saying I go along with the way it comes across, but if you don't think scare tactics work, try telling someone that it is ok to put 11 imported parts into their kit build of an AK, or any other imported rifle.

Is this your AK or someone elses?

 

[techres]

I don't tell my wife so much about the bad stories when people are unarmed, but mention many where the victim IS ARMED and lives to tell about it. She is smart enough to do the math about what would have otherwise happened.

As for setting up an "encounter"? Great way to get a friend killed and in the same moment find out your girlfriend was already carrying a weapon!

 

[indykid]

Is this your AK or someone elses?

First, I in no way advocate the intentional violation of any law, no matter how stupid. Second, I have never built an AK variant and do not intend to. I prefer factory builds, which are starting to get rare.

 

[Ri22o]

As for setting up an "encounter"? Great way to get a friend killed and in the same moment find out your girlfriend was already carrying a weapon!

I have suggested this, but it has only been in jest. I never actually meant it as an option.

 

[rhino]

I will share factual anecdotes and reports with people of both sexes as they happened. I will share my opinions of the stories, including the outcomes and what precipitated the encounters the same with both sexes. I don't consider sharing such information as "scare tactics."

To me, "scare tactics" are something like surprising someone with a mock attack. In my opinion, it's not helpful and can result in tragedy. There is little to be gained and a significant amount to lose, so I see no point in it.

 

[JetGirl]

Thank you, Pami.
I'm the "Annie" in that thread so I won't repeat everything again here. I still stand by all I said.

 

[pax]

It has been my observation that trying to make an adult human being do or believe anything at all usually ends poorly.

It's perfectly okay to mention current events and to encourage your friends to learn a little more about how firearms work and how the laws regarding them are structured.

But that's about it. Anything beyond that is counterproductive, prone to backfire, and probably bordering on evil.

pax,

Kathy

 

[JetGirl]

Anything beyond that is counterproductive, prone to backfire, and probably bordering on evil.

AbsoFriggenLoutely!
Pax, I lurve you just as much here as at W&G!!

 

[Jay]

my two cents worth....

Fright..... as a teaching tactic is not a good idea. There are loads of examples of "reasons to carry/train", without having to scare someone. Most folks are smart enough to know when they may need instruction, dependent on their individual situation. I do very little advertising for my classes, as word of mouth does very well.

 

[EdC]

My suggestion is to introduce her to shooting first, if possible. I had been downright anti-gun for many years, but started to become alarmed at all the gun crimes being committed, and made the decision to learn and carry. Once I became familiar with firearms, they lost the "mystique of danger" that they formerly held for me. So my thought is that, if she will shoot a little bit "just for fun" that might lower the hurdle a little bit for carrying for self protection.

That's just generalizing from my own experience, but I suspect others may feel the same. Ignorance about firearms led to a subtle fear of them for me. Now the 4 Rules and practicing them tamed my fear of the firearm. I'm confident that the gun won't go off unless (1) I want it to or (2) I'm negligent.

 

[JetGirl]

I do very little advertising for my classes, as word of mouth does very well.

And some of his ^ students are VERY mouthy!!

 

[Jay]

..hook wires to her jaw, and she could power her home........

 

[Bigum1969]

My wife is only lukewarm regarding firearms. I do have more success sharing the stories about folks who were able to defend themselves thanks to a firearm rather than just sharing stories about random violent attacks.

With her, it is a fine line between being prepared and paranoid. But, a couple of times when things were a little iffy she's asked, "are you carrying?".

 

[JetGirl]

..hook wires to her jaw, and she could power her home........

...and yours. And hers...and his...and theirs...

 

[kludge]

Last Saturday my wife shot a gun for the first time in her life. Ruger Single Six .22LR. We have been married >12 years.

We had a Saturday with no specific plans, and she said, "Deer season is coming, why don't you go to the range?" I said, "Why don't you come too?" (About every six months I renew the invitation.) I suggested that after we shoot we go to the apple orchard, something she loves.

After about 4 years of marriage she became pro-gun. When we dated she was deathly afraid of guns. About 3 years ago she bought her first gun, a Kel-Tec P11. At this rate she might shoot it in a year or two... or she may decide she wants something else and trade it. I don't care, but I'm not going to push her.

About the limit of "scare tactic" is when I occasionally read to her the accounts in "The Armed Citizen" from the NRA rags.

Deep discussions on the subject will amost instantly turn her off... thinking about the unthinkable has a bad effect on her. She was quite disturbed when I brought home my silhouette target from the VanVlyman training day; planning a fake "incident" may very well cause a divorce.

My reply when someone asks, "Really what are the odds that someone will attack you," or "invade your house?"

"It happens to someone every day."

 

[gunbunny]

Communication requires the listener to be capable of listening well. Scare tactics are highly likely to result in someone who (on a biological/chemical level) is not capable of listening to you well due to stress, and on an emotional level, now much less willing to listen to you. I'd consider it similar to practicing for a shooting sport, where you learn to hit the targets first and then learn to hit them faster... first get the significant other to learn to tolerate/respect the concept of firearms and then work on further indoctrination.

 

[Pami]

Communication requires the listener to be capable of listening well. Scare tactics are highly likely to result in someone who (on a biological/chemical level) is not capable of listening to you well due to stress, and on an emotional level, now much less willing to listen to you. I'd consider it similar to practicing for a shooting sport, where you learn to hit the targets first and then learn to hit them faster... first get the significant other to learn to tolerate/respect the concept of firearms and then work on further indoctrination.

The bolded section is key, I think. And welcome to the site, gunbunny.