Advice on Anti-gun Family dealings

[Kitty]

Hey, Newbie here. I guess that equals stupid question time but I’m looking for ideas. My mom’s family and my dad’s wife are extremely anti-gun. So is my ex. They see no reason to ever own a gun, especially a handgun (their words not mine). And what makes me worse in their eyes is that I’m a woman who not only wants a gun, but wants to CARRY a gun. I’m endangering my son and asking for trouble.


I’ve always just chose not to be part of the discussions, it wasn’t an issue. Now that I’ve bought my Taurus and started the application for my carry permit, I feel like a kid with something to hide again. You know, like hiding your cigarettes from your parents when you’re 16? I’m fairly certain my dad would be supportive without the wife, but that’s not going to happen.


I know, I’m 40 and an adult but this is going to be an issue for me over the summer. Unless I want to go back to hiding things under the mattress. I know I have absolutely no hope of actually changing their minds, but I’d like to be able to go to picnics and holidays without feeling like a piñata. Any ideas of ways to deal/soften the matter?


Also, can you lose custody in Indiana for owning a firearm with a child in the house? (Yes this has been mentioned – by both the wife and the ex)

Thanks!

 

[spec4]

Can't answer your last question, but my thought is to just do your own thing. If they want to live their lives anti gun, that's their option. Carrying in the free state if IN is yours (with a LTCH of course). You are responsible for seeing that children don't have access to a firearm. At home, a simple gun safe can handle that.

 

[CalebToNowhere]

I had a similar situation with my mother in law. Crazy anti-gun. Brought up the endangering of my kids. To keep her at bay, I just decided to keep it from her site and not talk about it. There is no changing their minds. Just don't make it an issue. They don't really NEED to know about it, so there is no necessity to hide it. About the losing kids thing, I'm not seeing how the state government would take your kids away if they issued you an LTCH. Not sure though. Good Luck!

 

[Hotdoger]

Also, can you lose custody in Indiana for owning a firearm with a child in the house? (Yes this has been mentioned – by both the wife and the ex)

Thanks!

LOL!

Too bad the wife and the ex can't lose custody for being morons.

 

[geronimojoe85]

Get a small gun safe for at home or keep it on you. Don't put it under the mattress.

 

[Kitty]

Get a small gun safe for at home or keep it on you. Don't put it under the mattress.

Under the mattress was just a joke - used to keep my smokes there when I still lived at home. Small hole in the box spring stores a lot.

Seriously, I have a lock box at this point which is in my closet. I don't have my carry permit yet so I'm not going to put it on my person. It really doesn't weigh enough to notice that I'm carrying something.

 

[SEIndSAM]

Yep, get a good gun safe or have it on you at all times.

How old are the kids? I kept mine completely hidden and locked from the kids until they were old enough to understand the dangers and safe handling. 10 or so.

Now that my youngest is 13 and properly trained, we are very open about it. My ex hates it, but there isn't a thing she can do about it.

 

[christman]

Also, can you lose custody in Indiana for owning a firearm with a child in the house? (Yes this has been mentioned – by both the wife and the ex)

Thanks!

No, not just for having it the house. Not a chance. However, if there are documented incidents by either the police, fire, ems, or DCS where your firearm was directly connected to a reason they were present in your home (especially more than one time) than that changes the answer a bit. Doesn't mean you will still lose custody, it just adds to one of your families cases. You as a woman have to do quite a bit in Indiana to lose your custody of a child. QUITE A BIT...My advise would to inform them who the parent is and just not bring it up again nor be sucked into a losing battle with people intent on harassing you. Its always best to remain silent, makes everyone else sound like old bats.

 

[Kitty]

No, not just for having it the house. Not a chance. (snip) You as a woman have to do quite a bit in Indiana to lose your custody of a child. QUITE A BIT...My advise would to inform them who the parent is and just not bring it up again nor be sucked into a losing battle with people intent on harassing you.

Thank you!! I should have know he was "blowing smoke" but when your dad's wife and your ex team up it get scary. And I worry about what is considered a hostile/dangerous environment.

I will get a small safe this weekend and we'll be good. I really appreciate all your advice. Wow! I'm so glad I found this site!

For those that asked, my son is physically 17 but he is autistic so mentally he's about 10-12. He doesn't go by his father (that is mutual between his dad and him) except maybe once or twice a year. Then it is never overnight. The only reason my ex would threaten custody would be to hurt/infringe me.

 

[Wwwildthing]

Also, can you lose custody in Indiana for owning a firearm with a child in the house? (Yes this has been mentioned – by both the wife and the ex)

I know someone who lost custody to the grandmother, due to their far too vocal Y2K plans...

Just saying.

 

[SideArmed]

Thank you!! I should have know he was "blowing smoke" but when your dad's wife and your ex team up it get scary. And I worry about what is considered a hostile/dangerous environment.

I will get a small safe this weekend and we'll be good. I really appreciate all your advice. Wow! I'm so glad I found this site!

For those that asked, my son is physically 17 but he is autistic so mentally he's about 10-12. He doesn't go by his father (that is mutual between his dad and him) except maybe once or twice a year. Then it is never overnight. The only reason my ex would threaten custody would be to hurt/infringe me.

If you legally have custody through the court, and the father already has self-imposed limited parenting time, gun or no gun there would have to be a major incident for you to loose custody. Not just because you are mom, but in that circumstance you and your home are what the child knows and a judge would have to be pretty obtuse to think that any other situation would be good for the child.

Furthermore, if it is just you and your child in the house, I would think that you have a stronger case to own a weapon rather then not own a weapon. Your Ex or MIL is going to look pretty silly in court trying to obtain custody or insisting that a woman with a child in the house be disarmed. The argument of, "Your honor, with the state of affairs in the country at this time I feel safer and more prepared to maintain a safe home for my son with my gun in the house, than if I were defenseless in the face of an intruder" will go very far in your favor.

Standard Disclaimer: IANAL, I also made the assumtion that you were a single woman living in a home with your son, I apologize if that is innacurate.

 

[FutureButterBar]

I've had to battle it out with a few ex's over carrying firearms. I've learned just to let stupid people be stupid. Just stay within your legal limits. Laws are public. you can look them up online.
On a side note:You owe it to your child to protect them. That means from the firearm as well as from intruders. Hiding something from a child only makes them want it more. Be open and honest with your child about firearms. guns aren't dangerous, stupid people are

 

[Kitty]

I have custody. My ex is SUPPOSED to pick the boy up on the weekends. Never calls, never shows, and if I ask he gets irate and says he's busy. The boy doesn't even look for him any more. Yes, parent of the year.
I do feel safer have the gun. We were broken into last year. They fed my dogs milk bones (labs - what do you want). I can't imagine what would have happened if we had been home alone. I don't dwell on fear, but cautious is a good thing in my opinion.

As far as "hiding" the gun from my son. I'm dealing with an autistic. He knows it exists and that it belongs to mommy (yes, at 17 I'm still mommy). We never touch mommy's things without mommy. He has always followed that rule - sometimes to the point of annoyance. But I do keep the gun locked up in a lock box in my closet. The only key is on my key ring.

 

[DeadeyeChrista'sdad]

Just be anal rententive about keeping it locked up when not on your person, and go on with your life. The others are pretty much correct. IF the ex ever mutters anything about custody again, look him directly in the eye and ask him "Oh? and who's gonna assume responsibility for him? YOU? Go for it!" I believe that would be the last you'd hear of it. Oh, and thank you for trying to take good care of a special needs kid. It's not a cakewalk, and I for one appreciate those who try to do it right.

 

[maxmayhem]

Also, can you lose custody in Indiana for owning a firearm with a child in the house? (Yes this has been mentioned – by both the wife and the ex)

Thanks!

Nutjobs like this should refrain from giving legal advice. It sounds as if they have lost custody of their senses. Just keep your gun secured/locked when it is not on your person and you will be fine.

Also I think the Taurus guns have a built in lock on some of them. As for reasons to own a gun--ask genocide victims in third world countries -- ask how long police response time is in your city/county-- reference that old rag(according to them) called the US Constitution--ask the Japanese who did not invade the mainland of California during WW2 because every citizen was thought to own a gun and would be hiding behind every blade of grass shooting at the enemy--what a joke!

 

[techres]

1. Don't argue with idiots, it makes them louder and eggs them on.

2. Your son is 17 so the chances of custody being an issue in the short term are low, and long term are irrelevant.

3. The best move is to stop talking with them about it, period. If they bring it up again, you have two choices. First say, "Let's have a nice visit." (I.E. STFU), and if they continue - leave. If you have to leave a few times, do so. The will then choose to be polite or be alone.

4. Soon your son will either legally be an adult or a ward of the state in some fashion (the latter is true of my Brother in law in another state). Neither of these will be effected by your firearm ownership. But, still, being chatty on the topic of firearms could jar a worker responsible for your adult son.

5. Any chatting you want to do about guns, I would suggest you do here. There is a temptation early on, especially when you first carry, to talk to everyone about it. Why not? It is a big deal, very exciting, and a very mature step in life. But the reality is, you will find that less is more for a bit. In your case, try to tone it down for a year. Then you will have gotten to a point when you know when is a good time, and when is a bad time to share. Until then, you have our undivided attention here!

 

[ralphb72]

Just my opinion, but keeping the key on your key ring, you have to be careful about where you lay your keys. Do you have them with you when you shower? Do you ever leave them at home when you go somewhere and you are not driving? We have a keypad safe so no key laying around or hidden to be found.

When I was a kid I my parents locked their room, I don't really know why, but I knew where they hid the key so no matter. I also knew where they hid the pistol and 22 rifle and where they had the ammo locked, and where they hid the key to that.

They never knew that I took them out and shot them when they were not home (we lived in the country). The only time I shot the pistol I did not know how to hold it and cut my thumb pretty good. I also messed with the switchblade that was hidden and cut myself with it. Kids WILL find your hidden stuff if you leave them at home alone at all.

 

[edsinger]

They never knew that I took them out and shot them when they were not home (we lived in the country). The only time I shot the pistol I did not know how to hold it and cut my thumb pretty good. I also messed with the switchblade that was hidden and cut myself with it. Kids WILL find your hidden stuff if you leave them at home alone at all.

Ours were in the open, and we knew how to use them early on. IF we were to get into it, there had better be a darn good reason or all heck would break loose. Never had an issue.

 

[GeneralCarver]

Hey, Newbie here. I guess that equals stupid question time but I’m looking for ideas. My mom’s family and my dad’s wife are extremely anti-gun. So is my ex. They see no reason to ever own a gun, especially a handgun (their words not mine). And what makes me worse in their eyes is that I’m a woman who not only wants a gun, but wants to CARRY a gun. I’m endangering my son and asking for trouble.


I’ve always just chose not to be part of the discussions, it wasn’t an issue. Now that I’ve bought my Taurus and started the application for my carry permit, I feel like a kid with something to hide again. You know, like hiding your cigarettes from your parents when you’re 16? I’m fairly certain my dad would be supportive without the wife, but that’s not going to happen.


I know, I’m 40 and an adult but this is going to be an issue for me over the summer. Unless I want to go back to hiding things under the mattress. I know I have absolutely no hope of actually changing their minds, but I’d like to be able to go to picnics and holidays without feeling like a piñata. Any ideas of ways to deal/soften the matter?


Also, can you lose custody in Indiana for owning a firearm with a child in the house? (Yes this has been mentioned – by both the wife and the ex)

Thanks!

NO! You can't lose custody for owning a gun while you have a child. The child grabbing courts would have to prove somehow that there is a danger to your kid. Pretty extreme situation. If your worried about the little one getting his paws on your piece, simply buy one of the quick access handgun size gun safes. You can get them with bio metric finger identification and finger combination pad or just the combination pad. Keep your handgun in that when your not wearing it at home. Also, get a gun safe for long gun storage. If you can't afford much, just get one of the non fire rated jobbies for like $200-300.

As for your family, there's not much you can do. You won't change their minds. Just exercise your rights, but respect them when your around them. Don't talk guns, don't carry on their property if they don't want you doing it. But... when it comes to being out in public with them.. THEY don't have ANY RIGHT to tell you NOT to carry. So its up to you, if they threaten to not hang out with you if your packing, then make up your mind if you want to be armed or not.

The real question here as to how much freedom you exercise will be how much rejection from them you'll be willing to experience. But its not all or nothing. I bet if you started carrying around them out in public they would "put up with it" and heck, after a few years they will probably slowly change their views.

I think a lot of times you can't argue or talk someone out of anti-gun views. They have to experience something which will shake them into an awakening of understanding about why it is good to be an armed citizen or they will have to be slowly exposed to the gun culture over time and it will change their views slowly because they will see that 99% of people who own and carry weapons are great people and their pre conceived notions of danger were wrong.

That's my 2 cents.. well, more like 1.75. Hope that helps.

 

[melensdad]

... But I do keep the gun locked up in a lock box in my closet. The only key is on my key ring.

First, get rid of that box. Get a finger touch combination type box. Last thing you want is to find a key hole in the dark when you in a panic.

Something like this (there are many other styles/brands): Mini Gun Safe | GunVault

Safes like the one above have a simple touch panel that can be opened in the dark, but they are very secure and your son won't be able to crack the code. There are styles that fit in drawers, top open, front open, etc. Prices start at under $100 and go up to a few hundred dollars, some are even biometric and open to your fingerprint.

Now as for the anti-gun family you have, simply don't bring up the topic. You don't need to hide the gun, but you also don't need to broadcast the fact that you have it. Its yours, not theirs. You don't need to make it an issue. My brother is anti-gun, I am vocally pro-gun, but he and I simply avoid the topic 99.9% of the time.

No you can NOT lose custody of your son because you own a gun unless you do something stupid with it. But anything legal is not something that can reasonably used against you. Still, just keep it to yourself around people who are anti-gun.

You may want to make the drive to the NWI 'meet and shoot' this month (or some month this summer). There are typically 20+ INGO members who show up, some with families/friends. Lots of guns to try out, advice to be gotten, friendly shooters to meet and talk with, etc.

Linky => https://www.indianagunowners.com/fo..._and_shoot_sat_28_may_2011_a.html#post1890928