Dr. Hartman's non-surgical weight loss technique

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  • hoosierdoc

    Freed prisoner
    Rating - 100%
    8   0   0
    Apr 27, 2011
    25,987
    149
    Galt's Gulch
    OK guys, I'm going to throw this out there and see what you think...

    Obesity is clearly an epidemic in our country. There are surgical options but they are expensive, often come with complications, and frequently result in temporary weight loss for a few years before returning to pre-surgical weight.

    My plan... insert hair bezoars (sterile, of course) into the stomach that are too large to pass into the intestine and too large to vomit up. This will decrease the effective size of the stomach, help with portion control, give satiety feed-back, and probably give near continuous lack of appetite from realizing you have hairballs in your stomach.

    As the person starts nearing ideal weight, the GI doc can endoscopically retrieve a few of them. If the weight starts going up, put them back in. I need a few people willing to try this out. I don't want to bother with FDA approval or safety protocols or any of that other burdensome regulatory stuff so we'll have to do this in ths Caribbean.

    Sample bezoar, though this is large than I was thinking.

    5%20Trichobezoar%20specimen.jpg
     

    2ADMNLOVER

    Grandmaster
    Rating - 100%
    15   0   0
    May 13, 2009
    5,122
    63
    West side Indy
    I have a cheaper and much less invasive solution .

    Hire me and I'll spend time with you and every time I see you eating beyond three squares a day , I'll slap the ****ing taste out your mouth !

    It's truly a slim fast plan .
     

    a.bentonab

    Expert
    Rating - 100%
    6   0   0
    May 22, 2009
    790
    18
    Evansville
    Table 1

    Study participants consisted of 300 males and 5 females after solicitation on a large Midwest hobby oriented website. Reported medical conditions include lead poisoning and paranoid schizophrenia among the study group at 62x the rate as non study populations.

    Discussion

    Despite initially promising results, study was ended prematurely due to intolerable body odor when too many participants were gathered at the same time.
     

    sepe

    Grandmaster
    Rating - 100%
    1   0   0
    Jun 15, 2010
    8,149
    48
    Accra, Ghana
    That looks like something I left in the toilet after a long weekend of debauchery mixed with buffoonery. Woke up and the hotel bathroom looked like this...

    LATI5Dv.jpg
     
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