Son in law is joining the Army

[Hoosierdood]

My daughter got married 5 months ago and they have lived close by since then. They came over last night and told us that he is beginning the enlistment process, and has already talked the the recruiter.

I have mixed emotions about the whole thing. I’m super proud of him and my daughter that they see the importance of serving their country. At the same time, I know that this can be a huge challenge on a newly married couple. I’m a little sad because I know they will be moving away, possibly several times.

He is 21 and my daughter is 20, and they have been talking about starting a family. I worry for my daughter raising kids possibly while he is gone.

I expressed my support for them. It’s their decision to make. I told them it will be challenging for both of them, but if anyone can make it work, they can. They are both strong, mature beyond their age, and have far better communication than my wife and I did at their age.

Any advice that you can think of that I can pass along to them would be appreciated.

 

[patience0830]

My daughter got married 5 months ago and they have lived close by since then. They came over last night and told us that he is beginning the enlistment process, and has already talked the the recruiter.

I have mixed emotions about the whole thing. I’m super proud of him and my daughter that they see the importance of serving their country. At the same time, I know that this can be a huge challenge on a newly married couple. I’m a little sad because I know they will be moving away, possibly several times.

He is 21 and my daughter is 20, and they have been talking about starting a family. I worry for my daughter raising kids possibly while he is gone.

I expressed my support for them. It’s their decision to make. I told them it will be challenging for both of them, but if anyone can make it work, they can. They are both strong, mature beyond their age, and have far better communication than my wife and I did at their age.

Any advice that you can think of that I can pass along to them would be appreciated.

DON'T GO! or go to college an enter with a commission. Plan on a low standard of living in places you are unfamiliar with, with people you may not like. I went as a single man at 26 and ended time in service 4 yrs later, married with a newborn. Verge of WW3 is not a great time to enter the service. I'll pray for his strength and perseverance if he goes, but I can't honestly recommend it.

 

[76Too]

He has to make a choice between their marriage and the military. At that age, I’m afraid he won’t have the ability to multi task. I joined in my late 20’s as well and had difficulty keeping things squared away at home...let alone maintaining a successful relationship.

Good for him for wanting to do it, and your daughter for supporting his decision...but it’s going to be a steep uphill battle for them to make this work at their young age. They should not have children until he’s out, or at least until he’s high up enough to be able to live off base should they choose to do so.

Make sure he picks an MOS that gives him real world skills (ie, not infantry) and that he’ll be able to get a job as something other than a mercenary when he separates.

I wish them the best of luck if he decides to move forward, but please realize that the odds aren’t in their favor to make this work and she will likely be happier/better off with someone else if he chooses the military over her. It’s very difficult for spouses to compete with that lifestyle.

It’s easy to get caught up in the romanticism of the whole thing, but there’s no rose garden and military life completely sucks for families.

 

[Hoosierdood]

DON'T GO! or go to college an enter with a commission. Plan on a low standard of living in places you are unfamiliar with, with people you may not like. I went as a single man at 26 and ended time in service 4 yrs later, married with a newborn. Verge of WW3 is not a great time to enter the service. I'll pray for his strength and perseverance if he goes, but I can't honestly recommend it.

Trust me, I’ve struggled with these same thoughts since our talk last night. It’s like you’re in my head. Unfortunately, being on the verge of WW3 is one of the primary reasons that he wants to enlist.

I thought raising 4 kids was tough. But it doesn’t even compare to how hard it is to let them go and blaze their own trail.

 

[BE Mike]

It sounds to me that they would be a good fit for the military. The vast majority of troops never see combat, but are in support roles. An Army wife has to be strong and committed to the relationship. They should take full advantage of everything offered, including military wives helping. If they are as mature as you say, they'll know when to have children without our suggestions. The cost of medical care, including having a child is covered. If he doesn't find the Army attractive, he can get out at the end of his enlistment. My service is quite dated. I took advantage of every opportunity while in. I had some very good experiences and some very bad. Oddly enough, my combat time was some of the best! Overall, it turned out to be the best choice I have ever made. I learned a valuable skill. The GI Bill allowed me to get a college degree and I was able to get my first home with a VA loan.

 

[Quiet Observer]

It is their life, their decision. Two of my brothers and I were lifers. One had 3 tours in Viet Nam as a communications specialist. He also did time in Korea and Germany. He enjoyed mixing with locals. The other went to Italy and Okinawa. His wife and child accompanied him on both tours. I did Viet Nam as a Navy Corpsman with the Marines. None of us were injured in combat.

None of the 3 of us regretted going in. Like any job, there were complaints. I worked with a lot of fine people, and with some bums too. The vast majority of those in the military are in support roles and never see combat. College, like the military, is not for everyone.

 

[BigRed]

I would not bend over for this commander in chief or those of its ilk...but that's just me.

Strength to you and your family.

 

[Brad69]

Meh!

Its not that bad of a life !

You have free medical and 30 days paid vacation a year. You can go to college for free. You have a PX and Commissary that helps save $$.

Plenty of 4 day weekends plus the normal work day isn’t that bad. Most people only stay in for the first enlistment. It’s not for everyone but I enjoyed it. I retired at 43 with over 53% of my base pay every month.

IMO he needs to pick a MOS that he thinks he would like. Not what the ARMY wants at the time. Tell him to keep in mind you start at the bottom. Sweeping floors and doing menial labor is universal.

Takes a certain kind of women to take the time away from each other. She also will need to lean how to take care of things the man normally does.

I could call my wife and tell her to pack my ruck for 5 days in the field and she knew what to do.

 

[drillsgt]

Have them look up the 2022 pay charts for an E-nothing Pvt before they sign anything. Finances are one of the biggest stressors on a marriage and they'll have no money for several years. Hopefully they are debt free with few bills. There are ways to hit basic training with a little bit of rank, even E-2 could help preferably E-3.

 

[42253]

I will pray for them. I know firsthand that being a parent you never want to see your kids make a mistake or get hurt. I also learned in 34 years of being a parent there comes a time when you have to let them do what they want. Even when you know it's wrong. The job of a parent is to teach, guide and be there for them when they need support. I think the young man believes he is doing the right thing but, in this situation, he is not thinking it all the way through. If he truly loves your daughter, he would not go and stay and finish the life he has started. I put myself in your place and that is how I would feel. I not saying it right its just how I feel. If I am out of line please forgive me. I am dealing with a situation myself so I can relate

 

[Hoosierdood]

Update:
He ships out May 2nd to Ft Benning. He took the ASVAB and scored in the top 8%. I told him this is a great opportunity to chose a MOS that will carry over to civilian life and let Uncle Sam pay for it. Be an engineer, welder, mechanic, security analyst, etc.

He chose Infantry.

 

[Magyars]

God bless them both, and you as well.
Joining our woke military is going to be very different than how it was in the past.

 

[KG1]

Update:
He ships out May 2nd to Ft Benning. He took the ASVAB and scored in the top 8%. I told him this is a great opportunity to chose a MOS that will carry over to civilian life and let Uncle Sam pay for it. Be an engineer, welder, mechanic, security analyst, etc.

He chose Infantry.

Ummm... Infantry is a noble choice but it doesn't exactly carry over. Oh well. At least you tried.

 

[ghuns]

Update:
He ships out May 2nd to Ft Benning. He took the ASVAB and scored in the top 8%. I told him this is a great opportunity to chose a MOS that will carry over to civilian life and let Uncle Sam pay for it. Be an engineer, welder, mechanic, security analyst, etc.

He chose Infantry.

They all do, at least at first. I mean, who doesn't want to blow s**t up and choot bad guys?

My SIL is a Marine. He went to boot camp right after HS graduation. Got stationed in lovely, scenic 29 Palms. He was in infantry as a mortarman. They got married the following December.

Their housing situation was pretty decent there. It was off base military housing to start. I had heard what a dump 29 was but the little subdivision they were in was newish and nice.

His unit had done like 6 consecutive deployments to the middle east. So when he got dropped in their first deployment was to Australia. Not a bad deal. Daughter came back home for most of it. Didn't want to stay alone for 6 months in place where she didn't know anybody.

As he moved up in rank they moved on base to a slightly nicer house. Daughter made some friends and got a job on base.

His next deployment was to Syria. He was leading the mortar crew by then and was tasked to support special forces teams who went out hunting ISIS and business was good. He downplayed it at the time but I know my daughter understood he was in combat. She got to talk to him pretty frequently and seemed to adjust well to living on her own. She's a tough one. Never been a girly girl or a crier. Even the day he came home she was all laughs and smiles. That changed when they had the ceremony where they passed out medals and read the commendations. She was like, YOU DID WHAT?!?

She was a wreck for week. He'd mentioned a couple of hairy situations he was involved in but hearing the details read out loud shook her up. They had been talking about having kids and she was like, no f**king way I'm having babies with an infantry Marine.

His enlistment was almost up and he looked into other things he could do with less excitement than infantry. He decided he wanted to get into MCCS, kinda like the retail business wing of the Marine Corps, but there are less than 100 enlisted openings for that. He got picked for it and reenlisted.

They now live in Quantico, Va and have given us our first two grandsons. His job is supposed to be 9-5, but often ends up more like 6-7. He runs the tailor shop, busy place for a service branch so obsessed with their uniforms. They have the same problems as any young couple learning to be parents. I can't imagine what it would be like if he was still in infantry, or anything else where he'd routinely get deployed.

He was recently picked for a "special duty assignment". That sounds cool, but really just means you are forced to be a drill instructor or recruiter for three years. He picked recruiter. This is supposedly the WORST job in the whole USMC, or any service branch. On the bright side, he connected with the guy who recruited him, he's now in charge of the state of Indiana, and is 90% sure he'll get stationed somewhere in Indiana. Having the grandkids close for a few years will be nice.