“What? You too? I thought I was the only one.”

[Myla]

Very true Gungirl

 

[patience0830]

True Dat. Shame my alcoholic ex-spouse never learned that. After a while you give up trying to make someone happy after you've been shot down so many times. I waited too long to make the break. Now I'm scared to go back in the water.

 

[gungirl65]

True Dat. Shame my alcoholic ex-spouse never learned that. After a while you give up trying to make someone happy after you've been shot down so many times. I waited too long to make the break. Now I'm scared to go back in the water.

I wish I could assure you that the water is always warm and safe, but I can't lie to you. Sometimes it is rocky & scary as hell. Those who have never swam too deep or been where we have been, may have a hard time understanding the drowning sensation we may sometimes experience. If they can't empathize or understand, it may be best to just swim away from these people. Our fragile hearts needs compassion not to be judged. Anyone who cannot accept any of us unconditionally, is not worth the heartache and confusion that they cause.

I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. Bad things happen to lead us to better things, so we can appreciate and cherish them. It's the same for people that may come and go in our lives. It is rare to find a soul mate the first time back in the water. Give up that expectation and just enjoy the waves until you have healed.

Sometimes the best we can do is wade in the shallow end while we adjust to this new world. If we open up and look closely, we will meet others like us who can lend us a shoulder to help keep us afloat.

 

[Mrs Evilwrench]

Patience, be just that! I was in three failed "legal" relationships, felt that I was doomed to be alone forever. I only attracted the most abusive insecure men around because that is what I reflected. My codependency was a shining beacon that just continued to draw "them"in. When I had my son, I decided that I wanted better for him. His father walked away from us very early on. being a Single Parent brought out an inner strength that I had forgotten was there. I spent a lot of lonely nights, cried myself to sleep, determined that I would either find a man that truly deserved Me or I would remain single. It took ten years, and I have found the true love of my life. He respects me, encourages me, loves me...all unfamiliar territory! But this was definitely worth the wait, not only for myself, but also to model for our boys how a relationship should be.

 

[RedneckReject]

I am living proof that it can be done. And MrsE I completely understand the whole "unfamiliar territory" thing. To this day I still don't like him to clean the house. In the past if my husband was cleaning it was because I didn't do a good enough job. And that meant big trouble. I once started crying with the current MrRedneckReject was running the vacuum cleaner and apologized for not doing it the right way. He looked at me like I was nuts. At this point in our lives it's nothing that extreme when he does dishes or cooks dinner, but it still makes me a little uneasy! It takes baby steps to get back in the water. Everyone is ready at a different time. For those of you (men or women!) going through it, it does get better. It takes a long time but the reward is well worth the effort.

 

[CTS]

Its an Indiana joke... everyone in Kentucky is related by more than one familial bond. Such as being siblings and cousins thanks to Daddy-Uncle JoeBob.

My mom's dad ran off with his wife's (my grandma) brothers wife making their subsequent kids my mom's brother cousins and the pre-existing kids step brother and sister cousins.

 

[Mr Evilwrench]

What I've taken out of all of it, is that you have to be you, and be able to be you. Exactly you, no compromise. If you find someone that can accept what you are, you've won a great prize. I have, and I'm at peace. I hope to be as good for her as she is for me.

 

[gungirl65]

Starting over really isn’t such a bad thing. It shouldn’t be feared but instead be viewed as a chance for a spiritual rebirth. Some people just don’t belong together. Luckily many of us realized this young enough that we have a chance to find true love or just a faithful friend. The advantage of being older is that we are wiser now and should have learned from our mistakes of youth. I didn’t know squat when I was in my teens or 20’s, even if I may have thought I knew it all, I didn’t have a clue. Sometimes I still don’t.

Being older now, I realize what’s really important. I understand that I am only mortal and nothing lasts forever, not even me. The superficial things no longer matter. What is inside a person’s soul is so much more important than their packaging. Being loved, appreciated and accepted the way I am, is more important to me than anything else. Spending quality time alone or with family, friends or someone special is what really matters.

I maintained the status quo for over 20 years. I can’t maintain it for another 20. Watching my mom slowly fade away with Alzheimer’s has helped me realize, I want to live my life to the fullest. I want to look forward to and appreciate each new day. I don’t want to waste time and energy watching TV. I want to create my own entertainment, whether it’s at the range, the park, the trail or wherever. A bench in the park overlooking the water is a perfect place for me.

I want to feel that spark again, the feeling of excitement when I am pursuing an interest or with another person. I want to share special as well as mundane tasks with a special someone. I want to be free to be me. I am a little on the odd side or perhaps downright weird on occasion, but who doesn’t have their own idiosyncrasies? I will accept his, if he will accept mine. What he won’t do, is criticize me for my convictions. Nor will I him.

For now I will do what I have to do to get by because I know my new beginning will begin when the time is right.

 

[beararms1776]

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, “What? You too? I thought I was the only one.”

Seeing what friendships can be born in here.

Let me see if I can keep this short, here goes...

I am a mother of identical twin girls born in 1992.
1993 I suffered a massive stroke, left me paralyzed on my left side
Began adaptive skiing a couple years after, recruited to the provincial downhill racing team.
2000 had my millennium son
Recession hit and lost my job in 2008 after a 12 years with my company
Marriage started to die, finally left 2011 when we sold our house.
I workout 6-7 days a week to avoid the effects of aging.

Looking forward to my first Christmas in my new home
For the full story... West GTA Stroke Network - From Prevention to Recovery - Stroke Survivor Stories (scroll down to find Myla)

Any connections out there?

Strength (physical and mind), stamina and endurance can carry you a lifetime.