22 a Day

[wtburnette]

My condolences.

 

[Expat]

I am very sorry and will pray for you and your family.

 

[Bill of Rights]

Wolfhound,

You said you posted this for awareness. We are aware and you posting it helps someone out there, if not directly then indirectly. Let your words echo on and not be forgotten.

You also said you weren't asking for sympathy. You are an INGO member, sir. We make a point, and have since this board started in 2008, of noting that INGO is a community. You are part of that community, and when one hurts, just as when one celebrates, we all do. If you don't want sympathy, that's fine, but you will and you DO have support. You are not alone, just as those vets you spoke up for are not alone.

It was said by another member that your son lives on in those children. I don't know how old they are, but make sure they know him. Make sure that they know what kind of man he was and what he wanted for them.

You and yours are in my prayers.

God bless,
Bill

I'm not posting this for sympathy but for awareness.

I lost my 29 year old son in January. He was a father of three beautiful children. He was a veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan and had earned a purple heart during his years of service. He was loved and admired by friends, family and coworkers. He had a great job and was going places in this world.

He also was going through a nasty divorce and had battled PTSD and depression. He was receiving medication and counseling from the VA.

On January 25th life became too much to endure and he took his own life.

I will have to carry this burden for the rest of my days. He was my son and my best friend. I miss him dearly every day. If you know of anyone (friends, family, coworkers, veterans) who are going through a hard time please take the time to check on them and make sure they are ok. Tell them that they are not alone and that you are someone who cares and will help.

Veterans Suicide Hotline 1-800-273-8255

 

[Nazgul]

Stay strong Brother.

Don

 

[hoosierdoc]

Sorry for your loss

 

[Woobie]

I originally had thought this was about another young man. It never occurred to me in this rural community that we would lose two of our best on the same day.

I texted a friend who deployed with the OP's son. The three of us worked together off and on over the last few years. He is now working with the sherriff's department, and was the first to arrive at the other tragedy, just 5 or 6 miles from my house. But he told me that Wolfhound's son is the 4th soldier to commit suicide from their company that went on the Afghanistan deployment. This was an IN Army National Guard infantry company. These 4 men came out of our communities. The way they deployed this particular unit at that time, it was purposefully understrength But even if it had been a full strength company that would have been less than 100 people. And 4 of them are gone. Everyone is at a loss to understand.

22 veterans choose to take their own lives every day. It usually is not just the deployments that cause this. They see some awful things, which no one is prepared to see. They lose close friends. But there is usually a combination of things that lead to suicide. It can be mightily difficult to reverse back in to civilian life. And who can you tell about your demons? No one gets it, so you just bottle it up and pretend everything is ok. But you can't do that at home. The combination of bottling up your frustrations and the PTSD can make home life difficult. And the Mrs. who is used to running things by herself is having to switch back into playing as a team. But who do you tell? You just pretend as a couple that everything is ok. Now you've got someone on a ragged edge, barely hanging on. And all it takes sometimes is another friend killing themselves, or a few late bills, or an argument with your now ex-wife about custody. And often times there is alcohol.

I'm speaking in generalities here, because I didn't know OP's son beyond the few times we worked together. But this is the hell we are losing our heroes to. They get back, things get quiet, and they can't solve problems the way they could overseas. If you have a vet in your life, get to know them. Figure out a way to help them with the bottle, the marriage, the guilt, whatever it is if they are struggling with it. Just be a friend. A real friend. Not just a golfing partner, and definitely not a drinking buddy. You need to be the kind of friend that they would have had in uniform. Someone who will straighten them out when they screw up. I don't mean yell at them, but never make excuses for them. And don't accept excuses either. But be there. If they show up at 0130 and you have to be at work at 0600, then you take care of them. If they actually admit things aren't going well, then drop everything else and concentrate on them. Just be a brother, to put it another way. And if they aren't getting the care at the VA they need, burn up the phone lines to Congress until they do. In the mean time, help them find one of the many alternatives to the VA.

It will take involvement and love to bring this tragedy to an end.

 

[flatlander]

Mission 22

This is the best outreach program I'm aware of.
If there are any vets out there battling depression or PTSD, please seek help.
I'm no expert, but, BTDT so feel free to contact me if you need to. Sometimes just talking about it or knowing there are others out there helps.

Bob

 

[Trigger Time]

I am very sorry for your loss Sir.
i have lost several Brothers that I served with. One very recently. For many the warning signs weren't even there that they would do this. Please do not blame yourself. Please make sure his children know it wasn't their fault or because of them. I think speaking with my brothers parents and children after the fact has been the most difficult thing.
I also feel like some of the medications they put veterans and others on is part of the problem. Some of these medicines can make someone do something they never would do otherwise no matter how much stress or problems they deal with.
Our soldiers, marines, sailors, and airmen are not quitters on the battlefield. So why are they quitting when they come home? We need to use our brains to find out!
I also agree Mission 22 should be supported!

if any vet or active duty or even civilian is having overwhealming thoughts, you can pm me. We will get together. I'm a good listener. No one is ever alone no matter what you think. People do care about you. Even total starngers

 

[Woobie]

Well said, TT

 

[indiucky]

Wolfhound,

You said you posted this for awareness. We are aware and you posting it helps someone out there, if not directly then indirectly. Let your words echo on and not be forgotten.

You also said you weren't asking for sympathy. You are an INGO member, sir. We make a point, and have since this board started in 2008, of noting that INGO is a community. You are part of that community, and when one hurts, just as when one celebrates, we all do. If you don't want sympathy, that's fine, but you will and you DO have support. You are not alone, just as those vets you spoke up for are not alone.

It was said by another member that your son lives on in those children. I don't know how old they are, but make sure they know him. Make sure that they know what kind of man he was and what he wanted for them.

You and yours are in my prayers.

God bless,
Bill

I'll second what bill said......

You're one of us...You hurt..We hurt...Your loss...Our loss....The fact that your son served our country and protected our freedoms makes the loss doubly hard for us here...God Bless you and yours.....All day today your son will be in the thoughts and prayers of fellow Hoosiers because you had the courage to share with us your personal loss....

You're not alone.....Never alone.....

 

[chubbs]

My condolences, my thoughts and prayers are with you and yours. We owe these great men and women who served our country more that we can ever repay.

 

[Wolfhound]

Thank you for the kind words. I am always amazed by the INGO community.

We truly are not doing enough to help this latest generation of veterans.

Woobie, you obviously knew him. It was tragic that Henry County lost 2 of our heroes within 24 hours of each other.
They now rest side by side on Legion Hill in New Castle.

 

[T.Lex]

I'm so sorry. Your family will be in our prayers.

 

[Woobie]

Thank you for the kind words. I am always amazed by the INGO community.

We truly are not doing enough to help this latest generation of veterans.

Woobie, you obviously knew him. It was tragic that Henry County lost 2 of our heroes within 24 hours of each other.
They now rest side by side on Legion Hill in New Castle.

He had a quiet confidence. He was professional and competent. He never had an ego, but I never talked to him without feeling like I needed to pick his brain about leadership or the finer points of our business. This was just in the few interactions we had as cadre. I would love to have had the chance to work with him in a line unit.

 

[87iroc]

Sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine the pain you are going through...we will pray for you and your family and his children.

 

[gregr]

A wonderful and heartfelt plea to be sure. Thank you and God richly bless you for reaching out, and reminding all how important it is to pay attention to those we love and be engaged enough to know how they are, and when they need us. I pray the Lord will heal your heart and soul.

 

[AmmoManAaron]

Been away from INGO for a while, very sorry for your loss Wolfhound.

 

[actaeon277]