Am I making too much of this?

[Rookie]

Spoke with Principal, who in turn spoke with superintendant. I was given 2 options to handle this. File a formal complaint with superintendant, in which case they would also have to "punish" me for having words with the coach at school and telling him ( which I confessed to to the principal) that his actions were bull****, and he was a piece of **** for humiliating the kids. I cursed at school, (not in presence of kids mind you) so I would probably be banned from attending a couple of games or something.

Second option was informal handling, principal tell me I couldn't curse at the school and speak my mind to the coach. He would also talk to him and explain his actions are unacceptable, and pics need to be deleted.

I choose the second option, if, the coach would admit his wrong doing and apologize to the kids. Spoke briefly to my son this evening, and there was no apology. Looks like we may end up having to take the first option. Ex spoke to coach this evening, his comment to her was he made them hold the dolls and such, to let them know he isn't their babysitter. I will speak with principal again tomorrow, see what coach said to him.

At this point though, after talking with son, and ex, looks like I may now have to make the decision if it is worth missing some of his games to teach this guy a lesson, and future coaches for that matter.

What makes it more difficult, he has the "name" and I don't. It will turn political. Decisions, Decisions............I am now debating, if he doesn't think what done is humilating, turning it in to a spectacle, and getting the media involved. Make all the administration, along with him look like fools........

I have other ideas how I would like to handle it, but better keep those to myself!!!!!!!

The options given to you were the principal's way of sweeping it under the rug. Go over his head. File a complaint on the coach AND the principal. Let them know that you can make this a very public issue.

As for you being punished. Really? After school detention? Seriously, that speaks volumes on how flippant the principal is being about this. He's trying to downplay the problem by passing blame onto you.

A few years ago, I had an issue with an attendance counselor mistreating my daughter. We sat down with the principal and tried to work it out. When he threatened my daughter, I completely lost my cool. We were nose to nose, I was calling him EVERY name in the book, and I was seconds away from going to jail for assault. The principal stepped in (fortunately), apologized for the counselor's actions, and we resolved the issue. The counselor was replaced the next week. I never received detention either.

 

[Gabriel]

Sports DO build character.

Yeah, I've seen the characters that team sports build.

 

[Mad Macs]

Nope. They're going overboard. Humiliating the kids for something they had absolutely no control over is nothing more than sadistic on the part of the coaches. Go to the Athletic Director in your school district and run it by him.

While I disagree with what the coach is doing, stating that people can't control their weight isn't right either. I've never seen a bigger bunch of overweight teenagers than what is coming up these days. I'm 240 lbs and 6'5" and I'll be there are middle school kids that weight more than me. We're killing our kids by letting them eat junk and be lazy.

BTW, I've coached my kids' sports for years and am amazed at the size of kids coming up. I would say I was out-weighed by over a quarter of the middle school basketball team and I'm a big guy.

 

[mrortega]

Can you say, "Jerry Sandusky?" Make no mistake. That's where this could lead. This POS is practicing the same type of dominance that a rapist uses to hurt his victims. It is a very sexually charged acting out of deeper problems this guy has. From what you described of his treatment he shouldn't be anywhere near kids. This man is very dangerous and needs to be dealt with severely immediately in a legal way not by being taken to the woodshed by a parent. The principal and school board should be put on notice that they are accountable for any physical or legal issues that this guy causes.

 

[YETB]

Sounds like a page from the Carmel Highschool guidebook to proper coaching and Fun Hazing rituals.

Forget the schoolboard - Call Rafael Sanchez - see if he thinks that's normal behavior.

Oh - and photos of minors in humiliating situations sounds like Porn to me - or at very least Fetishism. I learned that from the Penn State coaches guidebook to proper coaching and hazing rituals. It's a whole set...

 

[Tactical Dave]

I have a 13 year old son, and he is on the school basketball team. The coach has a habit of making fun of the kids on the team about their weight, height etc. One kid has been given the nickname of "Pork Chop" by the coach. Another on "double stuff", again by the coach. On Monday, practice time was shortened by 30 minutes. Not all parents were able to deviate their schedules to accomodate this time change, since we schedule our lives around the published schedule given, and on short notice ( the day of) just can't make the changes. There were 5 kids out of 12 whose parents were late picking up the kids. My ex, arrived at the school at 7 minutes after practice ended. The coach had found baby dolls under a christmas tree at the school, and was making the boys hold the dolls until their parents arrived. He was telling my son, "go ahead, burp the baby...." The coach and his assistant were laughing at the boys, and taking pics of them with their cell phones, and saying, " Oh so and so will like this, I am sending this one to so, and so....." etc. Am I making too much of it by going to the principal and demanding that at the very least the coaches apologize to the boys involved for the humiliation? I equate their behavior to that of bullying, and the school has a zero tolerance bullying policy for students. I was very livid when i found out about this, then I calmed down, but the more I think about it, the more pissed I get.....do I need to let it go?

I would have filed a complaint already.... and called the news.

 

[Mad Macs]

Spoke with Principal, who in turn spoke with superintendant. I was given 2 options to handle this. File a formal complaint with superintendant, in which case they would also have to "punish" me for having words with the coach at school and telling him ( which I confessed to to the principal) that his actions were bull****, and he was a piece of **** for humiliating the kids. I cursed at school, (not in presence of kids mind you) so I would probably be banned from attending a couple of games or something.

Second option was informal handling, principal tell me I couldn't curse at the school and speak my mind to the coach. He would also talk to him and explain his actions are unacceptable, and pics need to be deleted.

I choose the second option, if, the coach would admit his wrong doing and apologize to the kids. Spoke briefly to my son this evening, and there was no apology. Looks like we may end up having to take the first option. Ex spoke to coach this evening, his comment to her was he made them hold the dolls and such, to let them know he isn't their babysitter. I will speak with principal again tomorrow, see what coach said to him.

At this point though, after talking with son, and ex, looks like I may now have to make the decision if it is worth missing some of his games to teach this guy a lesson, and future coaches for that matter.

What makes it more difficult, he has the "name" and I don't. It will turn political. Decisions, Decisions............I am now debating, if he doesn't think what done is humilating, turning it in to a spectacle, and getting the media involved. Make all the administration, along with him look like fools........

I have other ideas how I would like to handle it, but better keep those to myself!!!!!!!

Just tell the Principal that you will go to the news about how he's supporting bullying of students by a staff member.

That should be enough to get him to back down. Bullying is the new buzzword going around.

 

[GunSlinger]

I'm appalled by what the "coach" and his assistant did to your son and the other boys.

I won't make a recommendation to you as to any course of action you may choose to take...not my place to do so.

Now if this happened to my son I would wait for the appropriate time when I knew I could have a very private discussion off of school property with the "coach". I firmly believe that two adult mature men can come to agreement on a corrective course of action regarding unappropriate behavior when they have the opportunity to discuss such situations face to face...alone. No need to involve possible video taping or audio recordings or other people. I have found that a vast majority of the time the two adult mature men come away from this course of action with a genuine understanding of one another and the problem never occurs again.

 

[Mosinowner]

Being a 13 year old in a athletics program myself let me answer this. YES!!! Go to the principle! Go to the frwaking superintendent for that kind of behavior. The worst my coach does is scare the crap out of kids who pants people and who sag their pants.

 

[Benny]

As for you being punished. Really? After school detention? Seriously, that speaks volumes on how flippant the principal is being about this. He's trying to downplay the problem by passing blame onto you.

I was thinking 5 demerits and a letter sent to his parents.

Sounds like the principal is no better than the coach with a 13 year old boy fetish.

 

[Guardsman89]

Can you say, "Jerry Sandusky?"

I had the same thought. I'd throw Mr. Sandusky's name out on the table with the principle and superintendent. As in "The way you're handling this reminds me of the way Penn State handled the Sandusky issue. Didn't a bunch of people get fired over that?"

There is nothing helpful about assigning derogatory nicknames even if the kids are fat and there is certainly no object lesson to be found in humiliating kids in front of their peers.

At best the coach has no idea about how to motivate kids or build team cohesion. In the middle, the coach is a moron. At worst, he is an intentionally evil guy. At any level, he should get the boot. There are plenty of good men who know the sport who'd like the opportunity to coach! Why settle?

BTW...good for you standing up for your son. I guarantee your son noticed and he learned a little more about what it means for a man to stand up for what is right!

 

[Black_Wolf]

I'll go shove my size 13 steelcap up coaches ass while I choke out his assistant.

We'll see who the babies are then.

Totally unacceptable behavior and they all need firing.

If any yous agree with his methods, you're a bigger dumbass than he is.

Yep.

 

[Gabriel]

I'll go shove my size 13 steelcap up coaches ass while I choke out his assistant.

Unfortunately that probably would have been my reaction if I had seen that, except my foot isn't that big.

 

[lrahm]

If you are playing in the NBA or for Bobby Knight...it's ok. Trying to make sports fun and wanting the kids to look forward to coming to practice should be his objective. The kids should know that conditioning drills aren't fun but they are an important part of practice. He can at least try to prevent from making fun of the kids or he won't have any playing for him.

 

[shotgun0311]

Yo brother these dudes need to be fixed. That is beyond bullying it's hazing and that shouldn't happen to anyone. Especially to kids by a supposed role model if the principal won't do anything then you need to contact the school board with other parents.

 

[JohnP82]

Hell no you are not making too much of this! That is unacceptable and ridiculous!

 

[Black_Wolf]

Then I take it that coach dumbass gets an epic fail on his report card from my fellow INGO'ers.

I assume said school has an e-mail address?

What say we e- bomb it with our disapproval.

That will keep the dumbass off my shiny new timberlands.

 

[jdg0724]

I'll go shove my size 13 steelcap up coaches ass while I choke out his assistant.

We'll see who the babies are then.

Totally unacceptable behavior and they all need firing.

If any yous agree with his methods, you're a bigger dumbass than he is.

Yep.

Well said. I feel the same.

 

[Bunnykid68]

The coaches are douches. Nail em to the wall

 

[iChokePeople]

Sounds like this school needs a little sunlight as a cleanser. I think the news would love a story like this.