Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

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  • dean2182

    Plinker
    Rating - 0%
    0   0   0
    Jul 14, 2009
    73
    6
    New Albany
    :p:p:ar15:Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

    Here is a little test that will help you decide.

    The answer can be found by posing the following question:

    You're walking down a
    deserted street with your wife
    and two small children.

    Suddenly, a Terrorist with a huge knife
    comes around the corner,
    locks eyes with you,
    screams obscenities,
    raises the knife, and charges at you...

    You are carrying a
    Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.
    You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
    What do you do?

    THINK CAREFULLY AND
    THEN SCROLL DOWN:

    Democrat's Answer:

    * Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
    * What is a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP?
    * Does the man look poor or oppressed?
    * Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling?
    * Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
    * Could we run away?
    * What does my wife think?
    * What about the kids?
    * Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of
    his hand?
    * What does the law say about this situation?
    * Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
    * Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
    this send to society and to my children?
    * Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
    * Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to
    wound me?
    * If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away
    while he was stabbing me?
    * Should I call 9-1-1?
    * Why is this street so deserted?
    * We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.
    * Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage
    such behavior.
    * I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to
    come to a consensus.
    * This is all so confusing!

    ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .........
    ......... ..
    Republican's Answer:

    BANG!


    ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .........
    ......
    Southerner's Answer:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click-click...

    (Sounds of reloading)

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG!
    BANG!
    BANG!
    Click-click-click...

    Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!'
    'Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! '

    Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

    Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!
     

    Thumper

    Expert
    Rating - 100%
    5   0   0
    Jan 22, 2009
    1,133
    38
    South Indy
    A smart hillbilly that knows a kimber does not hold that much ammo and don't go click click after the last shot.But this is a good one.
     

    Jack Ryan

    Shooter
    Rating - 0%
    0   0   0
    Nov 2, 2008
    5,864
    36
    Two in the chest, one in the head is plenty. Careful with the one in the head or you'll ruin the mount.
     

    Bill of Rights

    Cogito, ergo porto.
    Site Supporter
    Rating - 100%
    7   0   0
    Apr 26, 2008
    18,096
    77
    Where's the bacon?
    Told here before several times, as noted in the "related threads" below.

    Still a good description of the latter two groups. The first however, was missing:

    "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!" :tantrum:
     
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