Officer, it was an honest mistake. It was dark. When I got done with the monkey she grabbed my shorts and I in turn grabbed her shorts by mistake. I just didn't want to have to explain to the zoo keeper..............
"Sorry about being called out here for a 'Man with a bomb'. I had too much chilli and beer and I think the neighbors got the wrong idea when we held the farting contest. It got outta hand, it won't happen again....."