Relatively Ninja
Sharpshooter
Hi, my name is [redacted], I work at [redacted] and I carry concealed at work.
I would like to start by telling you guys that my hips hurt. Pretty bad. Well, let me clarify that; yesterday they hurt pretty bad, today there is a definite bruise forming. Maybe I should explain...
I'm working a part time job over winter break and I'm not allowed to carry while on the clock. So I carry concealed. I have to wear khaki pants, but I forgot to bring any khaki pants home that will comfortably fit myself and my sidearm inside the waistband. So I'm stuck with some pants that are a little snug to begin with. Add in my trusty XD, and they're uncomfortably tight. I'm working nine out of the next eleven days and I'm only two days in. I wonder if I'll even have hips in a week. I can't justify the cost of buying a whole new pair of pants just because I forgot the loose ones in Bloomington. I work in a restaurant, so I'm constantly moving around, bending over, and stretching to grab something off the top shelf. As I'm doing all this moving around my gun belt naturally settles down slightly lower than my waist and puts a decent amount of pressure on the points of my hip bones. As I stated earlier, this hurts. Quite a bit.
In addition to the pain, I know that if one of my managers finds out I'm carrying I will be fired. If I'm fired I'm going to have trouble paying my rent next month. Furthermore, I can only imagine how hard it would be to get a job when the reason for leaving the last job was "carrying a firearm against company policy". I'm worried that when I'm moving and stretching my shirt will come untucked and someone will see the butt of my gun. I'm worried that as I'm hitching my pants up off my hips for the 78th time that day that someone will notice the imprint of a grip under my shirt. I'm worried that while someone squeezes behind me they'll put their hand on my hip to keep me from bumping into them and inadvertently grab my gun. I'm worried than one incidental glance or slight bump could end my job on the spot.
So why do I do this everyday? Why do I succumb to the physical and mental stress of carrying in a "safe" neighborhood with my job on the line? I do it because I'm even more worried that I WON'T be carrying on that one day when some punk decides he needs our nightly cash deposit more than the bank does. I'm worried that myself or one of my coworkers will be facing the possibility of a ride to the morgue after work and I will be powerless to help either of us. I'm not concerned about a smash & grab robbery (I'm no hero), but my concerns aren't entirely unfounded.
A couple years ago this same restaurant chain had a robbery at another store in Indiana. To promote safe closing procedures we were asked to watch a video of the robbery. The robber came in through the back door after the restaurant had closed and burst into the manager's office while he was counting the cash at the end of the night. The office was no more than a cubicle; there was barely enough room for the assailant to stand as he threw the manager to the ground and proceeded to stomp, kick, and beat the sh*t out of that poor, defenseless guy. Fortunately, the manager lived, but the image of him curling up into a fetal position and squirming like an infant to try and avoid the pain that rained down from above has ingrained itself permanently in my mind. The lesson they were trying to teach us in that training video? Keep the back door locked. How did the robber gain entrance to the restaurant? His friend let him in through the back door, which was locked. Just like it was supposed to be. What lesson did I learn from that video? People cannot be trusted; you must always be prepared.
It is partly because of this incident that I put myself through the physical pain of carrying a weapon in pants that are too small. I worry that I will be caught and fired, but I worry even more that I will be a sheep on the day a wolf shows up. I carry because a pistol isn't meant to be comfortable, it's meant to be comforting. I do it because I understand that human predators exist. I do it because I promised myself that I would be mentally prepared and physically equipped to effectively respond to an attack or emergency. I promised myself that I will retain the capacity for swift and decisive violence against those who wish to take advantage of civilized society and prey upon the weak. And although some may say I'm crazy, stupid, and paranoid; I am also still alive. I will not hold their ignorance against them, even as I continue to carry. Every. Damn. Day.
~EDIT~
I wrote this as a draft a couple days before Christmas. Since writing it I have found a looser pair of pants that accommodate a sidearm much better than the pants mentioned above. I'm a little more comfortable now, but I still worry about being found out and fired. I don't know why I was so riled up when I wrote this, but I hope that the intensity of my emotion resonates in the minds of those who read this. Many of the phrases in the last paragraphed are rehashed from the Defender's Creed, which you can find here. I appreciate you taking the time to read this rant in it's entirety.
I would like to start by telling you guys that my hips hurt. Pretty bad. Well, let me clarify that; yesterday they hurt pretty bad, today there is a definite bruise forming. Maybe I should explain...
I'm working a part time job over winter break and I'm not allowed to carry while on the clock. So I carry concealed. I have to wear khaki pants, but I forgot to bring any khaki pants home that will comfortably fit myself and my sidearm inside the waistband. So I'm stuck with some pants that are a little snug to begin with. Add in my trusty XD, and they're uncomfortably tight. I'm working nine out of the next eleven days and I'm only two days in. I wonder if I'll even have hips in a week. I can't justify the cost of buying a whole new pair of pants just because I forgot the loose ones in Bloomington. I work in a restaurant, so I'm constantly moving around, bending over, and stretching to grab something off the top shelf. As I'm doing all this moving around my gun belt naturally settles down slightly lower than my waist and puts a decent amount of pressure on the points of my hip bones. As I stated earlier, this hurts. Quite a bit.
In addition to the pain, I know that if one of my managers finds out I'm carrying I will be fired. If I'm fired I'm going to have trouble paying my rent next month. Furthermore, I can only imagine how hard it would be to get a job when the reason for leaving the last job was "carrying a firearm against company policy". I'm worried that when I'm moving and stretching my shirt will come untucked and someone will see the butt of my gun. I'm worried that as I'm hitching my pants up off my hips for the 78th time that day that someone will notice the imprint of a grip under my shirt. I'm worried that while someone squeezes behind me they'll put their hand on my hip to keep me from bumping into them and inadvertently grab my gun. I'm worried than one incidental glance or slight bump could end my job on the spot.
So why do I do this everyday? Why do I succumb to the physical and mental stress of carrying in a "safe" neighborhood with my job on the line? I do it because I'm even more worried that I WON'T be carrying on that one day when some punk decides he needs our nightly cash deposit more than the bank does. I'm worried that myself or one of my coworkers will be facing the possibility of a ride to the morgue after work and I will be powerless to help either of us. I'm not concerned about a smash & grab robbery (I'm no hero), but my concerns aren't entirely unfounded.
A couple years ago this same restaurant chain had a robbery at another store in Indiana. To promote safe closing procedures we were asked to watch a video of the robbery. The robber came in through the back door after the restaurant had closed and burst into the manager's office while he was counting the cash at the end of the night. The office was no more than a cubicle; there was barely enough room for the assailant to stand as he threw the manager to the ground and proceeded to stomp, kick, and beat the sh*t out of that poor, defenseless guy. Fortunately, the manager lived, but the image of him curling up into a fetal position and squirming like an infant to try and avoid the pain that rained down from above has ingrained itself permanently in my mind. The lesson they were trying to teach us in that training video? Keep the back door locked. How did the robber gain entrance to the restaurant? His friend let him in through the back door, which was locked. Just like it was supposed to be. What lesson did I learn from that video? People cannot be trusted; you must always be prepared.
It is partly because of this incident that I put myself through the physical pain of carrying a weapon in pants that are too small. I worry that I will be caught and fired, but I worry even more that I will be a sheep on the day a wolf shows up. I carry because a pistol isn't meant to be comfortable, it's meant to be comforting. I do it because I understand that human predators exist. I do it because I promised myself that I would be mentally prepared and physically equipped to effectively respond to an attack or emergency. I promised myself that I will retain the capacity for swift and decisive violence against those who wish to take advantage of civilized society and prey upon the weak. And although some may say I'm crazy, stupid, and paranoid; I am also still alive. I will not hold their ignorance against them, even as I continue to carry. Every. Damn. Day.
~EDIT~
I wrote this as a draft a couple days before Christmas. Since writing it I have found a looser pair of pants that accommodate a sidearm much better than the pants mentioned above. I'm a little more comfortable now, but I still worry about being found out and fired. I don't know why I was so riled up when I wrote this, but I hope that the intensity of my emotion resonates in the minds of those who read this. Many of the phrases in the last paragraphed are rehashed from the Defender's Creed, which you can find here. I appreciate you taking the time to read this rant in it's entirety.
