Do you have a Death Book? Or you're going to die, plan for it!

[spec4]

It's a job that takes work. We have all of our financial assets arranged so our daughters are equal ultimate beneficiaries. The house has a recored "transfer on death" to them. The cars are transfer on death. We have done everything possible (that I know of) to avoid probate. The grave is paid for. We have each written instructions on how we want our funerals. Our kids are level headed, ones a paralegal. This took time and planning, but all in place now.

To contrast, my Mom was spread out all over financially. Had no will. She reluctantly signed a POA to me. I saw that everything was done right and no one got screwed.

 

[DoggyDaddy]

It's a job that takes work. We have all of our financial assets arranged so our daughters are equal ultimate beneficiaries. The house has a recored "transfer on death" to them. The cars are transfer on death. We have done everything possible (that I know of) to avoid probate. The grave is paid for. We have each written instructions on how we want our funerals. Our kids are level headed, ones a paralegal. This took time and planning, but all in place now.

To contrast, my Mom was spread out all over financially. Had no will. She reluctantly signed a POA to me. I saw that everything was done right and no one got screwed.

I'm planning on getting a lawyer to finalize everything, but I figured it would be good to gather as much information in advance to save them billing me for "leg work" that I could do. That's the kind of info I'm looking for.

 

[chocktaw2]

F...k him. To put your family thru this = selfish. What an idiot. Not sorry. I'm amazed anybody really cares anymore. But, that is your choice.

 

[chocktaw2]

I really need to do this too. For those that have, how much detail is required? I assume account numbers for bank accounts, 401K's and the like are necessary (although I have DoggyMama as the beneficiary to both my 401K's as of now), but what about other physical property, like guns, and whatnot? Do you need to itemize every single possession, or is it enough to say "all of this stuff goes to _______"?

If you haven't already done this, have everything that has a title with it, (ie. vehicles, property) with 2 names on it. Yours, and the spouse.

 

[Cameramonkey]

And even a will isnt foolproof. When my Grandma passed away her two daughters were to split things. My aunt got the not insignificant amount of cash in the bank. Mom got the property, and owed my aunt half the fair market value in cash. For ease of the story, lets call it $50k in cash, and the value of the property was $100k. Lets call it another $20k in taxes, repairs, tear-down, etc. So to be fair, Aunt should get $90k in cash, mom should end up with the $100k house minus $40k in cash. On paper it was 100k/100k. So more or less fair.

Mom had to pay to tear down the house because it was beyond repair to make it sellable. Mom also had to pay property taxes and repairs for several years while they figured out what to do with it. To this day, even being told repeatedly by mom AND the attorney, my aunt thinks she is owed another $100k above and beyond the cash in the bank. (She thinks mom owes here 100% of the cash value of the property AND the cash) She doesnt even think she should help pay for any of the expenses on the property. Without any expenses she was owed $50k for half the house. She wouldnt even consider calling it $40k owed to be fair. Nope. She insists she is owed $100k (plus the cash in savings ) because "mom didnt say anything in the will about any costs associated with the house. Not my problem" My mom has already paid her what she is owed for the property and things are legally settled. But she still insists that my mom still owes her more.

Yep, my aunt thinks that its fair that she ends up with $150k in cash and my mom gets to effective buy a $100k second house from my aunt for $120k. Madness. MY aunt doesnt have a leg to stand on, but she still is butthurt about it. (but doesnt let it interfere with their day to day relationship)

 

[Mr Evilwrench]

A will just makes probate slightly easier for them to figure out. It still takes too long and too much money. That's where the trust comes in. You just collect a few signatures and you're done. You will want a lawyer in on this to nail down anything that's likely to squeek.

My mom and dad prepaid their funerals and interment. Nothing that complex or expensive. My mom is still in an apartment, but shopping for a retirement home. She's 92, doing very well, but that can't last forever.

 

[Tactically Fat]

Y'all: As has been stated - Funerals are a RACKET. A racket that you're seemingly forced into. Afterall, who shops around for funeral services after a loved one has passed away?

If you want a burial - order that ish online. Seriously. You'll save THOUSANDS of dollars. THOUSANDS.

And if you really want to save the $, get a direct cremation - especially if you know or are not concerned with cause of the death. It should cost like $400-1000 depending on where you are.

 

[KittySlayer]

Y'all: As has been stated - Funerals are a RACKET. A racket that you're seemingly forced into. Afterall, who shops around for funeral services after a loved one has passed away?

And the funeral directors are worse than used car salesmen. Preying on the grief and confusion of the family and pitting family members emotions against each other.


Definitely pre-plan your funeral and have the plan in writing with your wishes. Then have that awkward communication where you review your plan verbally to make sure your family understands your wishes. This keeps the funeral director from upselling services to grieving family members.

The prepayment of the funeral is a whole different topic. For someone not on deaths door because of age/health there are a lot of financial arguments against it. Keep in mind it may not be an entirely financial decision though and removing that cost from the pile of money a divisive family may fight over could be worth paying for in advance.

 

[spec4]

As I understand it, if you prepay a funeral and the funeral home goes under, you are an unsecured lender to the home.

 

[Cameramonkey]

Y'all: As has been stated - Funerals are a RACKET. A racket that you're seemingly forced into. Afterall, who shops around for funeral services after a loved one has passed away?

If you want a burial - order that ish online. Seriously. You'll save THOUSANDS of dollars. THOUSANDS.

And if you really want to save the $, get a direct cremation - especially if you know or are not concerned with cause of the death. It should cost like $400-1000 depending on where you are.

And this lady explains it all in detail and how not to get scammed.

[video=youtube;MzrTl3kYHBE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzrTl3kYHBE[/video]

 

[04FXSTS]

As I understand it, if you prepay a funeral and the funeral home goes under, you are an unsecured lender to the home.

My wife and I just did this, the money we paid for the future service did not go to the funeral home. Two checks were written, one for me one for my wife both to an insurance company as an irrevocable trust so the funeral home only gets money when we are dead. We can also move the funeral to a different funeral home if we want if the other home will accept it. I feel safe that we will be taken care of, besides we will be dead and in no position to complain. Jim.

 

[patience0830]

I prefer to call mine a Legacy Box instead of a Death Book, but same concept. I've got one started with most of the important stuff like will, financial and medical POAs, insurance policies, kid's birth certificates, etc.

I still remember when my now ex-father-in-law remarked that he didn't want to have a will because he didn't want his five kids fighting over his stuff.

This is the same guy who won't talk to his sister because they have been fighting over their dead mother's house for the past 21 years. They've never even cleaned it out. It's been sitting with all her stuff in it the entire time. The house is literally falling apart while they bicker over it.

I call it a "Love Drawer".

"Death Book" is the list of people I will attempt to delete from the world , should I get a terminal diagnoses and still be ambulatory.

 

[churchmouse]

I call it a "Love Drawer".

"Death Book" is the list of people I will attempt to delete from the world , should I get a terminal diagnoses and still be ambulatory.

Damn we must be related. But the list grows short as Darwin and time do their thing.....

 

[Irukanji]

Yes I have one. Make sure you update a video to your loved ones along with favorite pictures every couple of years that is in the USB drive you include with the documents.

Also, make sure you keep the password list updated so they don't have to go through hell and attorneys to get account information when they should be grieving!

Great topic!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Scuba591]

My mother and father had several large black binders that constituted their wishes. In those days, the man was expected to pass before the wife... did not happen that way for us. Those binders served as a blueprint for the funeral, estate disposition and family healing. I still "lost" a sister as she did not like her portion. I'll say this to all who want to hear it. Money does not give you character... it reveals the character you already have. As I am now older, single and only have 1 other sibling, I created trusts for my assets. Those trusts will execute my wishes for my two minor children should I pass prior to them becoming adults. I have written a letter for both of them... hopefully inspiring them in some way. I need to look into prepaid funeral expenses more prior to making more decisions... though the idea of a video headstone is interesting to me for some reason. For me, transferring family history, morals and traditions are just as important as transferring my assets.

 

[patience0830]

Damn we must be related. But the list grows short as Darwin and time do their thing.....

I think you are not looking hard enough. My list grows longer by the day.

 

[snorko]

Well this thread spurred me to begin the process. You know, this would be a lot easier if I had a wife or child. As it is, I will probably make some charities and nieces/nephews happy. I am thinking about adding instructions to my executor that notice of the firearms/accessories/ammunition auction should be posted on INGO.