Drama filled life...Am I only one?

[Dean C.]

I would personally take the texts from the father to the local PD and get a restraining order, nothing like a paper trail if he decides to go off the rails and do something stupid. And a big YES to the treatment center if your daughter is willing to go, I have seen enough documentaries about Heroin addicts to know it is a hell of a drug and the circumstances your daughter is in right now would make relapse very likely

 

[Hookeye]

She is an adult?
If so SHE should ignore or block the number.

 

[Alamo]

Why is it so hard for people to simply not read a text?
Ignore or block it.

The problem is not the text. The problem is the other father.

 

[Hookeye]

The problem is not the text. The problem is the other father.

Maybe I missed something, but thought the dead kid's dad was being a jerk repeatedly by text/phone message/calls.
Should have blocked him after the 1st crappy phone deal.
Not doing so................

 

[Hookeye]

Today's culture has folks tied to social media and with that, their phones.
Makes real life tougher IMHO.

 

[churchmouse]

I'm sure the father is hurting and lashing out. Perhaps you could say this but much more diplomatically.

And being raised by someone that does not recognize blame/responsibility and where the 2 meet might be why the young man was a lost ball.

I would let him know to stand down. If it escalates then legal action might be next.

Also, Randy you know I understand. But in all of this do what you can for your daughter.

 

[Hookeye]

I was thinking the same thing CM.........lack of coping skills in the deceased's father.

 

[BigBoxaJunk]

Unconditional, but practical-minded love can and does help turn these things around, and our kids never stop needed that from their parents, even when they're adults themselves.

 

[hoosierdoc]

https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/

They are at the anger phase. Blaming others. I'm guessing they knew he was into heroin. Another "victimless crime" takes one out and harms many more in the process. sorry buddy.

I'd cut off all communication. No need to be guilted, no need for co-dependency

 

[Spear Dane]

Somewhere in the back of my mind I would be glad that turd flushed itself out of my daughters life AND provided her with a hard school lesson in drug abuse. Now you have to help her heal, which means you cut the turds family out of her life totally and you do it NOW and you do it firmly.

 

[PistolBob]

if your daughter is an addict..forget about everything but getting her in rehab and cleaned up. An addict is many times more likely to do something to themselves in the event of their significant addicted other dropping dead. Get her some help ASAP.

 

[Kutnupe14]

Wow... your family is in my prayers Randy.

 

[MrsGungho]

no words of wisdom, just prayers

 

[churchmouse]

no words of wisdom, just prayers

Renewed prayers outbound Randy.

 

[bwframe]

Best wishes for you and yours sir!

Please let us know if we can be of further assistance.

The "victim-less crime" touches many of us.

 

[CHCRandy]

I want to thank each and everyone of you who responded and gave advice and prayers. She seems to be doing better, mentally. I think she is understanding this is not her fault and that it is normal for us as human beings to blame others. She never used heroin until she met him in May of last year...then once he went to jail she quit...then when he would get out of jail she would use again. She would only use with him and the day he got out of jail he went on a binge, his last binge. I am hoping it opens her eyes and she changes her ways.

I feel terrible as well. I always blamed him and truthfully wished death upon him, I really didn't think it would happen. Always figured with my luck that little son of a gun would end up fathering my grandchild and being a PITA forever, but fate had a different plan. Even though I couldn't stand him, he was still a good young man, hid inside an addict's body. I can't help but to be saddened. He could have made a hell of a man some day, if he would have just changed his ways and listened. I feel terrible for his mother and father, brothers and sisters...and feel awful guilty that I gave him such a hard time, getting the law on him, hating him so much and such. Feel like I ruined the last months of his life, even though I was trying to get him to open his eyes at the same time I was trying to save my daughter. Never had a feeling of guilt like this, kind of weird. I try to be a God fearing type of guy and I know I shouldn't hate like that...and right now I am kind of hoping God aint mad at me, if that makes sense.

Anyhow, sorry to ramble. Thanks to all of you for letting me get this off my chest.

 

[WebSnyper]

I want to thank each and everyone of you who responded and gave advice and prayers. She seems to be doing better, mentally. I think she is understanding this is not her fault and that it is normal for us as human beings to blame others. She never used heroin until she met him in May of last year...then once he went to jail she quit...then when he would get out of jail she would use again. She would only use with him and the day he got out of jail he went on a binge, his last binge. I am hoping it opens her eyes and she changes her ways.

I feel terrible as well. I always blamed him and truthfully wished death upon him, I really didn't think it would happen. Always figured with my luck that little son of a gun would end up fathering my grandchild and being a PITA forever, but fate had a different plan. Even though I couldn't stand him, he was still a good young man, hid inside an addict's body. I can't help but to be saddened. He could have made a hell of a man some day, if he would have just changed his ways and listened. I feel terrible for his mother and father, brothers and sisters...and feel awful guilty that I gave him such a hard time, getting the law on him, hating him so much and such. Feel like I ruined the last months of his life, even though I was trying to get him to open his eyes at the same time I was trying to save my daughter. Never had a feeling of guilt like this, kind of weird. I try to be a God fearing type of guy and I know I shouldn't hate like that...and right now I am kind of hoping God aint mad at me, if that makes sense.

Anyhow, sorry to ramble. Thanks to all of you for letting me get this off my chest.

Rough situation and sounds like you are handling it a bit better than I would have, but never feel guilty for doing what is in the best interest of your daughter. I would just continue to think how easily it could have been reversed.

 

[PGRChaplain]

Randy, First Prayers for all involved. You might ask your daughter if she would like to talk to a Professional. Her welfare is #1 right now! Text Dad and let him know if your family ever hears from him again you'll institute Legal Action. Your daughters welfare is #1 now! (Repeating that fact) if you need to talk PM me.
Blessings for you and your family.