Funeral Etiquette

[CHCRandy]

You guys ever noticed how every funeral people say "He/She was such a good person" even if they were really a POS. I am just wondering what you guys would think if someone showed up at a funeral and professed the truth about someone. Have any of you ever been at a funeral where people just told the truth, even if bad, about a person?

 

[littletommy]

I've never heard of anyone being hurtful towards the deceased at a funeral, I'm sure it happens, just not heard of it. I would think if someone was truly a turd of a person, the family would just have em cremated and call it a day. Why throw a big party for a turd?

 

[SSGSAD]

I was taught NEVER speak ill of the dead ..... YMMV .....

 

[gregkl]

If you have nothing good to say, then say nothing.

 

[Ballstater98]

There is a time and place for everything. That is neither the time or place.

 

[oldpink]

There is a time and place for everything. That is neither the time or place.

+1 to that and a big amen.

 

[CZB1962]

What would be the point? It certainly is not going to change the behavior of him/her and would only serve to hurt the people who did not think he/her was a POS.

 

[bonkers1919]

On the one day you can't attended, families have a party for you. Food, wine, beer, flowers, and talk of how you were a good husband, father, uncle, friend, etc. A friend of mine once told me "Most people die the death of the life they lived". That quote took me a long time to dissect. My interpretation, if one has drama in their life, there will be drama in their death. So yes, there are crazy words and actions at a wake, funeral or the "party" after the funeral.

On the other side of that quote, it has been my privilege to be with some of the finest people during and after their death. If one has God, love, family, good friends, generosity, a gentle manner, etc. they usually have a good death and a good funeral.

I am painting with a wide brush but this has been my experience patients and their families.

 

[femurphy77]

Those that would speak ill of the deceased would probably be in a bar somewhere toasting the event. They are a none issue.

On a side, I recently attended one with full Military Honors, very moving!

 

[BehindBlueI's]

I am just wondering what you guys would think if someone showed up at a funeral and professed the truth about someone. Have any of you ever been at a funeral where people just told the truth, even if bad, about a person?

I would think the person was a raging a-hole who was trying to turn someone else's funeral into being about themselves instead of the deceased, that someone just had to have the last word, that someone was a jealous POS who couldn't stand that person having a moment in the sun even while deceased, and generally that the person was a classless douchebag of such arrogance and selfishness that they believed the deceased's loved ones needed their guiding light to know their "truths" on a day of loss and remembrance.

 

[Libertarian01]

To All,

Most people who know me have never asked me to speak at a funeral.

I go with an olde comicbook character Grimjack who said, "The truth will set you free. What they don't tell you is that first it will P#$$ you off!"

Regards,

Doug

 

[WebSnyper]

If I didn't think much of the person while alive, I'm probably not going to the funeral.

 

[MCgrease08]

Depending on the person and the type of sense of humor they had while alive, there might be some wiggle room to say something like, "Joe was a real pain in the neck" or something else in good humor.

But the funeral isn't the time to show up and start railing about what a top notch A-hole the deceased was. Funerals are for the living, not the dead. You never know who is in attendance and what their relationship is to the one in the casket.

 

[HoughMade]

"I'm sorry for your loss" is plenty honest.

If you're not sorry for someone's loss, stay home.

 

[TB1999]

I would think that speaking bad about someone at their funeral would make everyone uncomfortable. Now, if someone REQUESTED a roast- style funeral, that could be fun.

 

[Kutnupe14]

If I didn't think much of the person while alive, I'm probably not going to the funeral.

I wondered when common sense was going to appear.

 

[gregkl]

Keep in mind that a funeral is for the survivors, not the deceased. The deceased doesn't have a clue what's going on. You are paying your respects to those that live on.

 

[fullauto 45]

If they were not a "good"person, one would normally not go to the funeral.

 

[OakRiver]

It could be just a way of consoling the family. But saying "Sorry for your loss" is a lot more honest

I wondered when common sense was going to appear.

Maybe they really didn't like the person and wanted to make sure they were going in the ground

 

[Bennettjh]

There is a time and place for everything. That is neither the time or place.