Great parenting quote

[spencer rifle]

The key to parenting young children is that your life revolves around their needs, but you can't let them know it.

Well, maybe. For young children. For our older, it's "I still have to live with your mom long after you move out. She wins."

 

[ditcherman]

I would just like to offer, as encouragement, that I seem to see two different kinds of parents - the kind that says they can't wait til the kids move out of the house, and the kind that say they can stay as long as they want. The kids that are told they can stay are usually ready to lead a balanced successful life far sooner than the kids that know they are not wanted around. YMMV
Also, they'll grow out of it.
My wife was appalled at how much and how rough our boys fought, she'd never seen anything like it. After they broke her finger she finally took everyones advice and stayed out of it. They're fine. They are different from one another but grew to immensely respect each other.

 

[HoughMade]

Well, maybe. For young children. For our older, it's "I still have to live with your mom long after you move out. She wins."

My point was that with young children, they have to think that the parents are choosing what to do and when to do it and life is NOT revolving around the kids....while life revolves around the kids.

That naturally progresses into "you are not the center of the universe" (because they never thought the were) as they get older.

 

[target64]

Raise your kids and spoil your grandkids.
OR
Spoil your kids and raise your grandkids

 

[Ddillard]

Just keep doing what you are doing, it only gets better. I have two girls (27 & 13), and everytime I found a downside to this parenting there would be a dozen goods that made me appreciate them. I totally understand what you are going through. Those times could not be traded from me. I was told by a wise man (Dad) that if you aren't feeling tested then you are not parenting.~~"One Man's Opinion!"

 

[bwframe]

Raise your kids and spoil your grandkids.
OR
Spoil your kids and raise your grandkids

 

[Fullmag]

Negativity brings about negativity.

A negative times a negative does not make a positive with kids. It makes them negative and fearful.

You have one shot, make it count.

Read to your kids, tell them stories, spend time with them, make them feel valued by listening and raise them to feel like they can do something. I made sure my kids grew up hearing good job, yes, you can do that. One did not go to college the other did and graduated with honors both are very successful with bright futures.

 

[Spear Dane]

As CM said, the most serious undertaking a normal human will ever undertake. Also the scariest, during their childhood. You never know for sure if you are doing the best thing but you DO know if you screw it up it can ruin them. It's only since mine have both hit 30 that I see who they have become and sit back (a LOT, but not totally. Never totally) and realize I did pretty well with them.

 

[Nazgul]

As CM said, the most serious undertaking a normal human will ever undertake. Also the scariest, during their childhood. You never know for sure if you are doing the best thing but you DO know if you screw it up it can ruin them. It's only since mine have both hit 30 that I see who they have become and sit back (a LOT, but not totally. Never totally) and realize I did pretty well with them.

Thought my Dad was the smartest guy in the world growing up. Wasn't until I had kids I realized that parents sort of make it up as they go. Every situation requires a different response, keeping to the same principles of honesty, integrity, hard work and love.

Ours are grown now, Chemical Engineer from Rose Hulman, IT Senior programmer from Purdue, RN at a major Louisville hospital in ICU.

Very thankful for them and my Dad.

Don

 

[thunderchicken]

Being a parent is the most serious thing we will take on in this life. You are never done in this task.

Yes

 

[churchmouse]

As CM said, the most serious undertaking a normal human will ever undertake. Also the scariest, during their childhood. You never know for sure if you are doing the best thing but you DO know if you screw it up it can ruin them. It's only since mine have both hit 30 that I see who they have become and sit back (a LOT, but not totally. Never totally) and realize I did pretty well with them.

Even when you do everything in your power and even go beyond that you can have one go off the rails. You can wallow in believing you failed, analyze what could have possibly gone wrong loosing sleep over it. And in the end realize that some kids are just going to be screw ups for any number of reasons.
I have some personal experience in this.

 

[Steel and wood]

I have always hope that I did the best that I could I am sure that I could have done more but hindsight as they say is 20/20.
But the best thing I think I did was instill that they are responsible for there actions not me or there mother or whatever lame excuse they can come up with. It is there life there are responsible for it take care of your business and live with what you do.

 

[thunderchicken]

My son is 20 and my daughter is 18. Both are technically my step kids, but I have been in their lives since my daughter was 7months old and the boy was 2. Their dad was around but never made spending time with them a priority. He wanted to be more of a friend to them than a parent and IMO tries to buy their love. He never paid a penny beyond child support to take care of the kids. Never bought diapers, wouldn't take the kids while in diapers either. Then he married a woman with 2 boyd and they became his priority over his own. Constantly going to his step kids ball games etc but never having time to go watch his own kids. Finally the last two years he wants to hang out with the girl but has pretty much written off the boy. Both kids clearly know they can't rely on him.
I have always done my best to treat them as if they were my own. I always did the best I could to balance work, racing etc in my life with being there for them. I rarely missed any of their activities/sports. It was tough. And the boy tried my patients like crazy because he didn't want to be around me he wanted to live with his dad. But that tide has turned and in large part both kids are a joy to be around.
I always tell people I had a story book life growing up. My parents alaways made sure our needs were met and we had most of the stuff we wanted. After 44 yrs my parents are still married and have always been there for us. They really did a good job with us. Growing up, I saw other kids (most kids) who didn't have it like we did. Lots of bad parents and broken homes. I was lucky not to live that way. Heck I never saw either of my parents have a drink of alcohol until after I moved out on my own.
So just do your best to celebrate the good times, be there through the hard times and know that everything you do will have some impact.

 

[jfed85]

I have a 7 year old, 3 year old, and 11 month old. I work 5pm to 5 am and my wife works 6am to 3pm. I work all night and take care of the kids all day. Some nights I work 12 hours on an hour of sleep. I just got to the point where I realized I would rather be tired here and there than to spend a fortune on child care. Also, I know when they are home with me they are safe and not being ignored, mistreated, neglected, etc. like you hear about so often with child care providers on the news.

I say all that to say this; I could never find myself in a situation where I would say I hate being a parent. Its the best thing ive ever done. It brings purpose to my life like nothing else. Not saying I haven't been overwhelmed some days, but that's all part of this crazy thing called life.

 

[BigBoxaJunk]

I have a 7 year old, 3 year old, and 11 month old. I work 5pm to 5 am and my wife works 6am to 3pm. I work all night and take care of the kids all day. Some nights I work 12 hours on an hour of sleep. I just got to the point where I realized I would rather be tired here and there than to spend a fortune on child care. Also, I know when they are home with me they are safe and not being ignored, mistreated, neglected, etc. like you hear about so often with child care providers on the news.

I say all that to say this; I could never find myself in a situation where I would say I hate being a parent. Its the best thing ive ever done. It brings purpose to my life like nothing else. Not saying I haven't been overwhelmed some days, but that's all part of this crazy thing called life.

My wife and I did the same thing when our kids were little, and for the same reasons. We use to joke that the reason we got along so well was because we worked opposite shifts and never saw each other.

I remember way back when my wife was taking weekend classes and my son (6), my daughter (4) and myself would go on some kind of adventure while mom was in class. Maybe fixing lunches and going for a walk in the park by the lake, or going to the local Children's museum. Me and the kids still talk about the fun we'd have on our adventures, and now that they're grown and live away, I think I'd give just about anything to go back in time and re-live one of those weekends.