HELP! Baby momma drama

[varasha]

Okay, today i come home to find my best friend crying on my porch waiting for me. His ex-girlfriend has made it very clear that her whole purpose in life it to make it so he can't see his kid. She called the police department this morning, and told them he was trying to steal the child, and that he was mentally unstable and and unfit father. All the normal drama.

First off, this guy is completely stand up in every way. He would never do anything to harm his child, or even d anything to keep his son from being with his ex-gf, he only wants to be able to have custody as well, that is his only goal.

So he got an idea to just go pick his kid up from daycare, when he gets here, no one answers the door, he knocks for about 2 min before a car pulls up, and it is the babysitters husband. Right after he pulls up, the Hancock county sheriff department rolls up in force.

My friend remained calm throughout and was told he was not allowed to pick up he son, or even see him. And then, the deputies took his phone, and told him to leave. I believe that is stealing isn't it?

As far as i know, the ex hasn't filed anything in court, so my first advice was to file as soon as he can in the morning for emergency custody.

I am looking for advice, or a lawyer, or i donno what, but this guy has been my friend for most of my life, and to see him reduced to rumble is really bringing me down too.

Thanks in advance.

 

[doglb]

Wow! Thats tough...I wish your friend the best of luck. Its always hard when a child is involved. It was good on your friends part to stay calm during the whole ordeal. I really dont know why they would take his phone, but that was wrong. The only advise I can give is get a good attorney and let them do the work. As a friend, keep up the support and make sure he knows your there for him and just take it day by day. If everthing is as you say, there should be no reason that your friend shouldnt have as much right to his child as the mom!

Good luck and stay positive, it may get rough at times!

 

[Denny347]

Lots of guys do not know that in Indiana, if you are not married, you HAVE to establish paternity if the dad wants to secure his rights. Signing a birth certificate is NOT legally binding in Indiana. Either a DNA test or a court hearing swearing you are the father. Only then will visitation happen with child support. If she messes with visitation, he can petition the same court to alter visitation in his favor. Without paternity he has NO rights to the child.

 

[E5RANGER375]

wish your friend luck!! In indiana, the father gets screwed 90% of the time. The system is set up in the WOMANS favor instead of the childs like it should be. Men and women are not treated equal in these matters in Indiana. best thing he can do is file for paternity like denny said. prepare to pay child support and get raped. I have friends who pay lots of cash in child support, and I wonder where all that money is going because it takes half that amount to raise my own daughter. some women realize they can spread their legs and get a free ride. and theres no recourse for the man if thats the case. your automatically treated like a "dead beat dad" by the courts from the beginning of the process, even if you file the paperwork first. the state will find a way for the mother to get free legal, but you will pay for yours.

Its always sad when I see stories like this. better tell your friend NOT to contact the mother again unless its through court. she can file a restraining order and then the big bad law will take his guns and not just his phone. and people still think we are free, LMAO

 

[irishfan]

Lots of guys do not know that in Indiana, if you are not married, you HAVE to establish paternity if the dad wants to secure his rights. Signing a birth certificate is NOT legally binding in Indiana. Either a DNA test or a court hearing swearing you are the father. Only then will visitation happen with child support. If she messes with visitation, he can petition the same court to alter visitation in his favor. Without paternity he has NO rights to the child.

This is spot on but DO NOT SIGN THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE if there is any doubt of you being the father. You should always get the test if there is any doubt because you are liable for support if no other father comes forward.

wish your friend luck!! In indiana, the father gets screwed 90% of the time. The system is set up in the WOMANS favor instead of the childs like it should be. Men and women are not treated equal in these matters in Indiana. best thing he can do is file for paternity like denny said. prepare to pay child support and get raped. I have friends who pay lots of cash in child support, and I wonder where all that money is going because it takes half that amount to raise my own daughter. some women realize they can spread their legs and get a free ride. and theres no recourse for the man if thats the case. your automatically treated like a "dead beat dad" by the courts from the beginning of the process, even if you file the paperwork first. the state will find a way for the mother to get free legal, but you will pay for yours.

Its always sad when I see stories like this. better tell your friend NOT to contact the mother again unless its through court. she can file a restraining order and then the big bad law will take his guns and not just his phone.

You are pretty darn accurate on this ranger.

 

[Lucas156]

So he got an idea to just go pick his kid up from daycare, when he gets here, no one answers the door, he knocks for about 2 min before a car pulls up, and it is the babysitters husband. Right after he pulls up, the Hancock county sheriff department rolls up in force.

Ok could you elaborate on this? So the baby mama has pretty much had full custody and just lets him see the child when they agree on it? If so why would he go get the child from the baby sitter without talking it over first? Couldn't that be considered kidnapping? Or he has had sole custody and was on his routine everyday trip to pick the kid up from daycare?

Im just trying to get clarification. Either way I feel sorry for the guy. This can be a really difficult situation but if he wants to see his kid and goes through the right motions he will probably get to and I hope he does. No child should be without a father.

 

[varasha]

Ok could you elaborate on this? So the baby mama has pretty much had full custody and just lets him see the child when they agree on it? If so why would he go get the child from the baby sitter without talking it over first? Couldn't that be considered kidnapping? Or he has had sole custody and was on his routine everyday trip to pick the kid up from daycare?

Im just trying to get clarification. Either way I feel sorry for the guy. This can be a really difficult situation but if he wants to see his kid and goes through the right motions he will probably get to and I hope he does. No child should be without a father.

The just split up, they were living together until about 2 weeks ago, the child is only about 2 years old and has lived with both of them the entire time. The child has stayed with the mom these two weeks and my friend has been allowed to come and take the kid whenever he wanted too, she just got mad because he wanted to keep him overnight, because she had to work overnight and he didn't want the child at the babysitters all night.

There have been no agreements on custody at all.

Also, i am in the market for a custody lawyer, if anyone knows anyone i would like to get rolling on this in the morning. We only have about 2000 bucks but i am willing to spend all i got on this too. The kid loves his dad, and i have never seen him happier then with him so it is very important to me that we find a way to at least get him joint-custody.

 

[cbseniour]

that is a very sad story but going to the day care to pick the child up without any authority will never help the situation.
Get a lawyer and take it to court. The courts are much more fair toward male parents than they used to be

 

[varasha]

Didn't know you needed authority to pick up your child from daycare... the goal was to be amicable and resolve it without going to court, up until today he has been the one that has always picked him up from daycare.....

 

[TiminMishawaka]

He needs an attorney and either marriage or condom instructions.

Young guys here - this is why you don't get the crazy ones pregnant.

 

[Denny347]

Didn't know you needed authority to pick up your child from daycare... the goal was to be amicable and resolve it without going to court, up until today he has been the one that has always picked him up from daycare.....

Oh yes, without paternity she can file a criminal confinement charge...one step below kidnapping. ANYONE can say they are the parent. He has let her place him in a trick bag. He is at her mercy. Get the paternity (does not need a lawyer) then he has rights she cannot take away. Until then, she has him by the short hairs.IC 35-42-3-3
Criminal confinement
Sec. 3. (a) A person who knowingly or intentionally:
(1) confines another person without the other person's consent; or
(2) removes another person, by fraud, enticement, force, or threat of force, from one (1) place to another;
commits criminal confinement. Except as provided in subsection (b), the offense of criminal confinement is a Class D felony.
(b) The offense of criminal confinement defined in subsection (a) is:
(1) a Class C felony if:
(A) the person confined or removed is less than fourteen (14) years of age and is not the confining or removing person's child;
(B) it is committed by using a vehicle; or
(C) it results in bodily injury to a person other than the confining or removing person; and (2) a Class B felony if it:
(A) is committed while armed with a deadly weapon;
(B) results in serious bodily injury to a person other than the confining or removing person; or
(C) is committed on an aircraft.

 

[irishfan]

He needs an attorney and either marriage or condom instructions.

Young guys here - this is why you don't get the crazy ones pregnant.

Where the hell were you a few years ago?

 

[LEaSH]

They all have some crazy to begin with. All of 'em.

 

[TiminMishawaka]

Where the hell were you a few years ago?

Paying for the divorce from a crazy one...lol.

 

[Fireaxes]

Tell your friend to LAWYER UP! I know it sucks to be put in that situation but, it's the only way to go. Also, document everything. Phone calls, visits, anything! Complete to time and dates + witnesses.

I am proof that a Dad can get custody. I have full custody of my Daughter from my previous marriage. Get a Lawyer now.

 

[varasha]

Ya, glad his kid is around cause he is super cute and makes my friend happy, but this whole situation is really unnevering... everyone says she is gonna win and my friend is gonna get screwed..

Makes me glad i don't have any kids yet.....

 

[hornadylnl]

Somebody needs to develop a Norplant for men.

 

[E5RANGER375]

He needs an attorney and either marriage or condom instructions.

Young guys here - this is why you don't get the crazy ones pregnant.

they are ALL crazy. it just takes time to find out how crazy, and if its manageable.

 

[PatriotPride]

they are ALL crazy. it just takes time to find out how crazy, and if its manageable.

Word!

 

[Gareth]

they are ALL crazy. it just takes time to find out how crazy, and if its manageable.

I've been married to my wonderful soul-mate for over twenty years. She's very stable, and level-headed. She can even think straight without allowing her feelings to taint her rational decisions. I realize you stated this half-jokingly, but not all women are "crazy".

The key to finding a good woman to marry is to think with the head on your shoulders, not the one in your pants. And if you truly love a woman, do the right thing and marry her. If she doesn't want to marry you, move on down the road.

Also, remember the following: Ask not what your spouse can do for you. Ask what you can do for your spouse.