help with the wife

[churchmouse]

Well the other part of the story I took her to the outlet mall afterwards. The whole positive reward thing.

That is the whole deal to this situation. You have to give to get......

 

[deal me in]

8 years of marriage so far. Been trying everything to get her to go shooting. She hates them but has no reason to. Her dad and brother own shotguns but she keeps calling me a doomsday prepper and other funny things. She especially hates it when I carry. She wasn't like this prior to marriage. She wasn't outspoken, just indifferent.

Sounds like she may be embarrassed to be married to a "gun nut". Maybe falling for MSM propoganda? I'd explain that guns, shooting, and self defense are important to you and part of her responsibility as a wife is to support you even if she isn't into guns. Are there things that she likes to do that don't interest you or that you find stupid? Do you make fun of her? Hopefully the answers are yes and no respectively and you can point that out to her. Always good to turn the tables and dump guilt on them for not being supportive. God knows, women do it enough to us.

 

[Hookeye]

I'm older and wiser.
And completely intolerant of even the slightest anti gun talk in my house.
Kids, the old lady or even a guest..........talk stupid and you're out the door.
On a good day, maybe not with a 10.5 imprint on the backside.

Even pro gun women are a pain to live with. I couldn't see adding to the misery of getting a neutral one or heaven forbid, one of any negative gun view.

 

[Hoosierkav]

Congratulations on the "win"; now to turn the apprehension/negativity into something more positive.

Plan out the trip (as mentioned, avoid the Desert Eagle) and go at her speed and comfort level--she is your wife, not a recruit. I would think that the splatter targets would be good, in circle shape.

Understanding her concerns (about prepping, etc.) will be key, so try to figure it out (again, lovingly).

After the range, take her to her favorite restaurant (or at least for dessert) and give her the target to hang up on the fridge

 

[AnnieO]

At my house "going to the range" is code for "stop and get ice cream on the way home".

 

[churchmouse]

At my house "going to the range" is code for "stop and get ice cream on the way home".

So, tell us....what does "Stop and get Ice Cream on the way home" mean.......................

 

[the1kidd03]

I know a woman who got shot in the face when she was 12, by a family member. Any thoughts about overcoming her fear of guns?

Her fear would have been developed by traumatic experience (obviously.) Unfortunately, that usually develops the strongest fear in a person (phobia.) Oddly enough, I have come across those who've been shot and did not develop a phobia from it. There are many other circumstances to consider in such a situation, but I'd be glad to take on the challenge. I haven't worked with a person yet whom I've not altered their perspective on firearms for the better.

 

[the1kidd03]

Thanks for your responses. For a while I was wondering whether I was alone. When she first told me about it, I was speechless. Like you, I felt like that was a "darn good reason" not to like guns. It makes me wonder: many of us got into guns because we don't want to be victims, but if we become victims (i.e., shot by a bad guy), will we still feel the same about guns?

To respect her privacy, I don't want to give too many details. She's from a family of shooters, so she knows that guns don't just suddenly jump up and bite people by themselves. I'm guessing she's probably even shot guns herself at one point. But because of what an a**h*le did to her, she is firmly opposed to guns. On the other hand, it may please you to know that she went on to have a productive life, though firearms still elicit a really visceral reaction from her.

There is a LOT here that makes more sense to me now. So, does she react in the presence of/ or "threatened" by the possible presence of a firearm? How so? When you say she's "opposed" to guns, how so? Is she religious of any sort? Did the shooter in her incident have the INTENT to do such harm, or was it accidental?

Still a LOT of questions to consider in helping someone who's lived through such a situation.

 

[Bunnykid68]

I tried to take the wife one time, she got mad when we wanted her to hold the targets.

 

[the1kidd03]

Great news guys! Our first range trip together is next week. I tried bribery, getting friends to go, and trying to reason with her. Although she says she won't enjoy it, she agreed to go. I dont know what swayed her, since it was pretty much the same tactics as usual. Maybe it was just the repetitive attempts that made her give in. At least it's a step in the right direction. I will let you all know how it goes. Thanks and Semper Fi.

Excellent news Sarge!

I've been so passionate about firearms and grown up around them my entire life that it's sort of a passion of mine to work with people that don't like them in order to educate them. More often than not, once you get through all the assumptions, media and Hollywood BS you can get them to open up to learn. It nearly always takes a great deal of time in convincing and there's a bit of strategy to it. Often it involves simply backing off and letting them lead the conversations and avoiding being pushy about it. Hope all works out well for you.

 

[JetGirl]

I tried to take the wife one time, she got mad when we wanted her to hold the targets.

Well, duh.
You have to show her by example first, doof.

 

[rkwhyte2]

I tried to take the wife one time, she got mad when we wanted her to hold the targets.

You forgot the purple didn't you?

 

[Bunnykid68]

Well, duh.
You have to show her by example first, doof.

You forgot the purple didn't you?

No to both