How do I get my wife to let me go shooting?

[Zach]

I just wanted to THANK everyone who responded to my post about assault rifles. I am not a troll and have learned a TON about guns and gun laws all due to this website.

I still am no where educated enough, but at least enough to make a decision for me and my family when it comes to the election.

I have a new question for everyone and figured this forum was appropriate as it is not nearly as serious as my last post...

Let me begin with this... I love guns, contrary to what many of you may believe. I was raised hunting at the age of 10. I had shot my father’s guns even younger than that.

My question - How do I get my wife to let me shoot a gun or even go HUNTING?! I own a small pistol and a 12 gauge shot gun. I'd love some sort of rifle.

Ha Ha... and to eliminate half of the responses... yes I am on a short leash and she has a very large whip... but regardless she is who I have chosen to be with and respect her opinions.

Cheers!

 

[melensdad]

Be honest with her.

That is the best way. Simply tell her that you want to take some time to go out shooting your guns. Tell her where the local range is (find out first) and tell her why you want to go out to shoot.

BTW, why?

 

[ashylarry]

You have to get permission to shoot your guns ? lol Just go

 

[ATM]

Help her to become educated about firearms and hunting. Coax her along with you to the range eventually. Many more great resources and personal stories on this site to help. Just don't rush her.


Or sneak out

...with your pants

 

[Bill of Rights]

She's who you've chosen to be with and you respect her opinions.

Commendable.

Questions: Are you who she's chosen to be with and does she respect your opinions?


Marriage is a two-way street, and she is not your superior nor are you hers.

If that last sentence is not true, it does not bode well for your relationship.

You are a person in your own right. If you choose to go and shoot, do so. If you choose not to, do not, but I recommend against placing the onus of the decision on her. She is your wife, not your mother, and unless she's changing your diapers, spoon-feeding you, and giving you your baths, the decision should not be hers; it should be reached jointly. Perhaps she doesn't need to go with you, perhaps she doesn't need to know about it when you go (by mutual agreement, i.e. "I don't want to know when you go.", not because you're hiding it from her), there are all kinds of ways for mutually respectful adults to address issues of conflict.

I'm sure you'll find one that works for you.

Blessings,
B

 

[Bigum1969]

My wife has a long history of hating guns and shooting. I just kept working on her over the past 5+ years. She was adamant for awhile that she didn't want any guns in the house.

She never cared if I went shooting, but she didn't want me to have any guns. So, admittedly, my first few gun purchases after we were married were on the "down low". She didn't know I owned them so she was happy.

To make a long story short, we had a break in at our house while we were sleeping (didn't even know about it until the next day). Scared the crap out of her (and me). From that point on, she wanted a gun in the house for protection.

We've now evolved to the point where she was fine with me getting my LTCH, and she even bought me a gun for father's day.

She even asks me from time to time if I'm carrying.

She still doesn't like guns, but she hates them a lot less and respects my enthusiasm for firearms.

 

[singlestacksig]

You may need to get some relationship counseling....
Join the NRA and get one of there magazines.. They list area shooting events. Go watch a High power match near your home town..

Also go see the small bore shoots.. maybe ask your wife to go along.. She will get to see them in a "safe" way..

Find out when & where a Hunter ED class is in your area.. Take the class..

 

[techres]

Good to see you back!

Different wives have different issues. Mine is ok with 24/7 carry, Ak's & AR's, and thousands of rounds of ammo in the house, but HEAVEN FORBID I SUGGEST HUNTING IN ANY FORM! Not even Bambi time, squirrels too....

Oh, man...

As for target practice, the following might do the trick:

A. Man up and just say, this is important to me and I hope you understand. (Prepare to sleep on couch).
B. Explain what you miss in your youth and you would like to get into "competition/sport shooting". For some reason "competition" does not offend like "going to the range" does. (Prepare to buy a new "competition rifle/pistol").
C. Tell her you want to keep a level of competence and safety with the firearms you already own. (Prepare to not buy anything new, but get reacquainted with your existing pieces).
D. Go to a range and rent a pistol or two for an hour over a lunch break. Explain to your wife you did it on a lark and it reminded you how much you miss shooting as a youth. (Prepare to either go into B. or to A. with the associated results).

BTW, do you have kids? How long have you been married? Both of these will strongly dictate what approach you might take.

But whatever you do, surprising her with an AK purchase may not be the way to start off.

 

[techres]

Oh, crud, I am SO remiss here. Simple plug here:

Come to an Applseed event, even for one day. Bill it as a history/shooting event. That may take out the sting for her. Some day she may come too, but first you come out alone.

And if you need help with a loaner rifle or a sponsorship to help with fees, let me know and you will be taken care of.

 

[Pami]

I strongly recommend that you read some of the posts in the Women & Firearms section of this site (and as such, I'm moving this thread there as soon as I'm done posting this response).

I can't comment on the hunting part of your question. I'm a lot like techres's wife in that respect -- shooting is fine. Shooting at live things is NOT fine. Don't ask me to explain it. I'm female. I am not authorized to make any sense to men whatsoever.

However, I have to agree with the guys on the rest of it. Marriage is a two-way street. Your wife doesn't have to be (amended: should NOT be) with you every second of every day. She shouldn't do everything you do. She also should not decide what it is you can and cannot do.

That said, you HAVE to be respectful of her opinions. Just telling her flat out, "I'm doing this whether you like it or not." is probably not the best approach. Explaining (calmly) to her that you used to do this as a child and really enjoyed it and would like to get back in to it is probably a better approach.

Women are slow about these things. There is too much emotion attached to guns -- especially if there are children frequently nearby. You probably need to educate her on responsible gun ownership and safety (again, see the other threads in the Women & Firearms section of the forum). It will not be a 24 hour process to bring her over to your way of seeing things. Been there, done that. For me, it took a couple of years total. Some guys on this board have been married for decades and still can't get their wives to fully accept their hobby. So, don't expect overnight success. Don't expect any success, actually. But I do think it's slightly ridiculous that you have to get permission to go shoot at a range.

PS, in addition to moving the thread, I took the liberty of renaming it to something more appropriate to the subject matter. Please don't hate me.

 

[Coach]

Are you ... Nevermind.

 

[JD31]

Have you mentioned this interest to her before? You already own two guns, what has been her reaction to those, or are they even allowed in the house?

My wife wants nothing to do with mine, doesn't oppose me and the kids, 11, 13, and 15 using them, but she wants them kept safe from the kids when when we are not using them. She has been okay with me carrying, but prefers not to know, and I am happy to oblige.

I, too, had many of your concerns, and from time to time, I point out to her the news stories that remind me of why I want to be proficient and capable of defending myself and my family if the need should ever arise.

Good Luck!!

 

[BloodEclipse]

Are you ... Nevermind.

We don't have the smileys for that one.

 

[Pami]

Are you ... Nevermind.

We don't have the smileys for that one.

Before I go getting heavy-handed with deleting posts, let me issue this warning first: please be respectful of the OP as it was asked in sincerity and deserves sincere responses.

 

[Bushobi]

I personally have found that getting my wife involved is shooting as well has hunting was a big help. For one thing I haven't bought a gun for myself in years...she now buys them..I have also found that getting someone else to instruct them helps. One of the best ways to get them into the shooting sports is the BECOMING AN OUTDOORS WOMAN program. But be patient..in time she may change...Bushobi

 

[bwframe]

...yes I am on a short leash and she has a very large whip... but regardless she is who I have chosen to be with and respect her opinions.

Respect for opinions go both ways. That being said, it's obvious that this is a new thing for her to deal with. Better to show her your interests slowly so that she can absorb, rather than have to deal with them immediately. Maybe subscribe to some magazines and, or show her your interest in this forum.

 

[Zoub]

Sounds like you guys are young? Do you do everything together? If not shooting can be your thing. If so, drag her ass out there with you, then you go do something of hers.

It sounds like it was not that big a part of your life when you met her and you gave it up to be with her and now she thinks she owns it. If you marry an alcoholic you expect them to be in a bar.

If you marry a shooter/hunter you expect them to be doing that.

You won't find the answer here on the internet, it will be with her. Good luck. I would say this is really not a gender issue but a values one.

FYI my 74 year old Mom told me a few days ago she wants to go along with me Pheasant hunting this year. Not as a shooter, just to walk along and watch my dog work. She is in great shape and is a competitive walker and can easily out walk 90% of the people in here regardless of age. But she is pro-gun, owns guns, shoots them and is not squimish about a bird being shot.

 

[PEARCE]

My wife an I are 24. We both came from families that never had guns in the house. At first, my wife said no way, no how, no argument when I told her I wanted a handgun. Then I asked her if she wanted to go and get trained on how to use and take care of a handgun. I figured this would make her feel confident about being around a firearm. She said sure and then after an hour into her lesson she was hooked. It also helped that her best friend was starting to shoot.

Personally I wouldn't just and say, "too bad, I'll do what I want". This could be hazards to your relationship and maybe your health.

 

[stormryder]

I have been with my wife for 17 years total, including dating.
In the beginning, she would cry at the sight of a gun.
But, over time I have gotten her use to the idea of having weapons in the house. Then helped her choose, and trained on a Taurus PT22, then got her a Henry Accu-bolt .22 for her b-day. She is now looking into a .38 special.
Now she goes with me to the range, and sometimes goes with me to the gunshows.
It will take time to warm your wife up to the idea, just take it slowly.
Keep asking her if she would like to go with you, eventually she will.
It worked for me, it may work for you.

 

[96harley]

I went to an auction one Saturday morning. I picked up a Colt Cobra 2" barrel. Took it home and my wife asked what I had purchased? I pulled out the little Colt and showed her. While doing so I said, "Thought this would be a good gun for you to carry." Well, I lost a gun cause she took me at my word. That Colt now rest in her night stand. Oh, I get to shoot it once in while but the day I got it home she wanted to try it out. On the other hand over the past 34 years my bride encourages me to get guns and like Bushobi she even buys them for me. I have really gotten some nice gifts from my sweetheart in the way of blue steel and stainless.