I can't believe my son just did that! Need advice.

[Archbishop]

My family and I were at my parents house last night. I'd had a long day at work and was tired so I found myself leaning against a chair, kinda zoned out. Then I felt someone tug against my gun. I turned around to see my 9 year old standing there with a grin on his face. My gun was in a retention holster so it of course stayed put. It wasn't a rough attempt to get my gun just a gentle tug, but it was deliberate and he was doing because he thought it would be funny.
We've been drilling safety into our kids heads now for quite awhile. They are not allowed to touch a gun without our permission etc. So of course I told him absolutely not and that we would deal with it when we got home. All three boys ended up sitting in on this discussion where I explained, lectured, That there was never to be ANY horse play with guns and that the best case for how that could have ended was that he would have been standing in a crowded room with a loaded gun in his hands. The worst case, of course, was the gun could have went off while he pulling it. And that if he tried that on the street such actions were likely to get himself shot.
He started crying talking about it being just a joke etc. But I think he gets it on some level. My wife and I still think there should be some sort of punishment. Grounded from computer and TV would be a biggy for him. But my wife also suggested that he should have to write a report on gun safety. Which I actually agree with.
Before you ask about spankings let me state I do believe in spankings, but in this case I believe the lecture followed by whatever punishment is the way to go.
Any thoughts?
​

 

[techres]

Have you been taking him to the range? If so, don't take him next time and let him know that it's because of his "maturity fail" and that you will take him again after that - so long as he has restored your faith in his maturity.

Tie gun time to gun safety and make clear that there is never a joke when it comes to gun safety.

 

[sticks4walking]

All good points. If they were told, they are not allowed to touch a gun without your permission, you have to dole out a punishment. If there is no punishment at this point, there is no lesson learned. The report on gun safety and "respect of guns" would be a great idea. The whole deal is that he learns that it is NO joke! Good luck Archbishop. Let us know how it goes.

 

[mrjarrell]

Sounds like grounding is the way to go. A couple or few weeks of that and continuous lectures might well do the trick.

 

[Aaronhome27]

Sounds like the way I treat my kids when it comes to guns. I DO allow them to handle nearly all of my guns regularly (unloaded of course) and put them in senerios of how and when. Although your son touching the gun was very wrong it is a great opportunity for more learning on their part. Like you I also do spank if warranted but I would have followed your path nearly to the "T" if I were in the same situation. Kudos to you on taking the steps to turn the experience into a learning experience!!

 

[LEaSH]

Well done.

At 9 years? I think you handled him appropriately.

At any age older I think I'd bounce him around the room for a spell.

I remember that age. What we thought humorous was not so by adult standards. And firearms at that age made us curious, but they were clear cut off limits. I can imagine what kind of laughs he was going after. But hey, kids need to learn boundaries. Perfect time for it.

 

[Bill of Rights]

Have you been taking him to the range? If so, don't take him next time and let him know that it's because of his "maturity fail" and that you will take him again after that - so long as he has restored your faith in his maturity.

Tie gun time to gun safety and make clear that there is never a joke when it comes to gun safety.

Never ever. Not even once. No exceptions.

I also might (maybe), after the next range trip, tell him that he gets to, under your direct, close supervision, clean the guns everyone else had fun shooting... the point being that he's taking the responsibility even if he's not having the fun, but it gives him a chance to prove to you (and to himself) that he knows how to be responsible and can do it.

(I'd also make the next range trip VERY soon thereafter, like maybe even the next day, but neither he nor the others have to know that till it happens.)

Make the punishment strict, but make the reward for good behavior come swiftly as well.



Glad that nothing happened; good for you for using a good holster. While in it, the gun is kid proof. Time to make the kids gun proof.

Blessings,
Bill

 

[lojax]

I completely agree with you on making him write a report on gun safety, I to believe in spankings but I think in this scenario a child would learn more with writing the report on safety.

 

[backtrail540]

I think with your lecture and the report idea would be sufficient. Spanking, which i believe in also, should be used in immediate action scenarios and really would have less of an impact in my opinion.

 

[Archbishop]

Yep everybody, you've said what I couldn't articulate yet I think the lectured combined with a written report will have more impact than a spanking in this case. Also, I want to add I titled I can't believe he did that because I really believed that my kids get the whole safety thing and this just shows that you have to continually drill it into there little skulls. Lesson learned.
No, My boys don't come to the range with me yet. I've been thinking about and trying to get my wife around to the idea, but this has put me off a bit and made me think that I might wait for a bit and continue to drill safety into their heads a bit longer before our first range trip.

 

[zspeed130]

Sounds like you are a great parent but I have one suggestion (you might already do this). My daughter (the son is to young yet) knows that she MAY NOT touch a gun without my permission. She also knows that nearly ANY time she want I will be happy to show her ANY gun she wants to see. This takes the mystery out of it. She is only four but if she asks and it's not impossible I will happily make the time to show her and answer all questions.

Just a humble suggestion you may already do. It's funny. only one or two times have I caught her gently touching a gun I had in pieces on the end table and she got a stern lecture and reassurance that any time she wants we can have fun together by looking at it and learning about it. Kudos for being a good Dad!

Z

 

[Marc]

one thing my uncle's friend did was to help teach his child gun safety was he took out a watermelon and had his son shoot it and they both looked at the damage and he told his son if he isnt careful that could happen to anyone who doesnt practice gun safety

 

[techres]

one thing my uncle's friend did was to help teach his child gun safety was he took out a watermelon and had his son shoot it and they both looked at the damage and he told his son if he isnt careful that could happen to anyone who doesnt practice gun safety

Like this?

YouTube - The First Gun Safety Lesson at the Range


It worked wonders. He remembers well.

 

[rooster007]

Marc , I agree with your post. When I was teaching my sons gun safety we actually put a picture on it . to further drive home the piont . Later in life I showed them actual photos of gun shot wounds . 9 years old is a little to young for that though. Both of my older sons have grown up to be excellent marksman and very safety consious

 

[KDUBCR250]

All good points. If they were told, they are not allowed to touch a gun without your permission, you have to dole out a punishment. If there is no punishment at this point, there is no lesson learned. The report on gun safety and "respect of guns" would be a great idea. The whole deal is that he learns that it is NO joke! Good luck Archbishop. Let us know how it goes.

What he said

 

[esrice]

I get all of my parenting advice from ihateiraq, therefore I find waterboarding to be quite effective.




( https://www.indianagunowners.com/fo...ense/17117-safety_on_or_off-3.html#post690080 before I get everyone calling CPS. . .)

 

[kcw12]

Id got the crap knocked out of me, a lecture, and grounded...... And im glad my parents would have done it now as i look back on it!!!

 

[Bill B]

Make the punishment strict, but make the reward for good behavior come swiftly as well.

well put

 

[Uralguy]

I had mine shooting by the time they were 5. With a single shot Cricket. And I hovered over them the entire time and they were issued 1 round at a time. This may have been the only success I ever had with my kids. I can't ever remember anything even close to this happening with the kids. Not until much later did their brains turn to jello. Now they are 18 and 21 and they really scare me with their thought processes now.

 

[Jack Ryan]

My family and I were at my parents house last night. I'd had a long day at work and was tired so I found myself leaning against a chair, kinda zoned out. Then I felt someone tug against my gun. I turned around to see my 9 year old standing there with a grin on his face. My gun was in a retention holster so it of course stayed put. It wasn't a rough attempt to get my gun just a gentle tug, but it was deliberate and he was doing because he thought it would be funny.​

We've been drilling safety into our kids heads now for quite awhile. They are not allowed to touch a gun without our permission etc. So of course I told him absolutely not and that we would deal with it when we got home. All three boys ended up sitting in on this discussion where I explained, lectured, That there was never to be ANY horse play with guns and that the best case for how that could have ended was that he would have been standing in a crowded room with a loaded gun in his hands. The worst case, of course, was the gun could have went off while he pulling it. And that if he tried that on the street such actions were likely to get himself shot.
He started crying talking about it being just a joke etc. But I think he gets it on some level. My wife and I still think there should be some sort of punishment. Grounded from computer and TV would be a biggy for him. But my wife also suggested that he should have to write a report on gun safety. Which I actually agree with.
Before you ask about spankings let me state I do believe in spankings, but in this case I believe the lecture followed by whatever punishment is the way to go.
Any thoughts?​

Providing this is not part of a pattern...

I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. I think you've already covered it.

Let by gones be by gones and go on down the road. No one wants to have their hands slapped every time they learn something. Let it go and watch him close to make sure he's learned. If not then it may take a little more but how much would you want to learn if you knew it was gonna cost ya punishment every time you weren't quite sure about something but decided to give it a try?