I just learned...

[GodFearinGunTotin]

Wow...
My sincerest condolences..

Asking why is natural. The sad thing is, probably...the reason(s) to us would probably be so "fixable". Again, I'm sorry...and pray for God's comfort as you grieve his loss.

 

[Hoosierkav]

Sorry to hear of your loss. You're on the right track in understanding that answers won't necessarily be found--sometimes there is comfort in knowing that you're looking at an imponderable; love your friend, love his friends, love yourself during your grief and healing.

 

[yepthatsme]

Sorry to hear about your friend. It is impossible to understand the depths of depression unless you actually experience it for yourself. Even then, once the depression subsides, it is hard to understand it and the influence it has over those affected. Thoughts and prayers to all.

 

[OutdoorDad]

The answer to "why" will elude you.

But I understand the desire to try.

Some answers, we will have to wait on for Gods insight.

 

[mom45]

Financial security does not always equal happiness. Suicide is not a rational act so it cannot be rationalized by those left behind. I know too many who have chosen this as an escape. I'm not always sure they realize just how permanent this "solution" is at the time they are doing it. Most just want to end some sort of pain...physical or emotional...and do not think about what it will do to those left behind. My ex-husband chose this route and I have watched my kids experience the roller coaster of emotions for the past 8 years now trying to make sense of something that will never make sense.

You have my condolences and will be in my prayers. Those that are left behind are the ones that suffer when this happens. Your friend made a choice and as hard as it is to accept, there isn't much else you can do. It will never make sense.

 

[1DOWN4UP]

I am really sorry for your and his families loss.Depression is something some are able to hide well.

 

[wtburnette]

My condolences for your loss...

 

[CindyE]

There have been a few times when I've felt so hopeless and so much heartache that I can understand wanting to do this, but I can't fathom actually doing it. Had a friend and neighbor that attempted suicide several times, ended up pretty much drinking himself to death. He was funny, smart, had a good job and people that loved him, and he was depressed. Depression can take many forms, and it is hard to recognize. Over the years, I've gotten to know some of his family a little better, and they all have anxiety and depression issues. Very sorry about your friend.

 

[T.Lex]

Prayers outbound. I am familiar with the heartache, frustration, and confusion associated with this, but have no easy answers for you or the family. My best advice is just to be there for each other.

 

[Libertarian01]

Thanks to everyone! Your words, thoughts, and prayers are comforting to hear.

Yes, depression is hard to understand. He wasn't really a materialistic person. He enjoyed traveling and had been all over the world. As a college internship he helped write the European Union rules. He had lived for some time in Greece. He met from time to time with a group of nuns here near the Fort to discuss religious politics. How cool would that be - discussing Catholic law and rules with a group of opinionated nuns?

He did LOVE his car, a BMW 335i. He took me out in in once. That thing could really get up and go. I'm not a car guy but he sure loved his.

I understand that depression is a difficult thing to grasp, especially when someone seems to want for nothing. Happiness can be had by the homeless while those living in mansions feast on woe.

There won't be a time from here forward that I see some political article or report and wouldn't love to get his take on it. He taught political science at IPFW. One of the classes he loved to teach was on Utopian society. In it he had the students create a utopian society from the ground up. They had to deal with military, civil rights, law enforcement, unemployment, everything from the ground up. It taught them a lot about what was achievable and what isn't. It was fun getting his stories about some of their solutions to problems.

I'll need to find a way to value the time we had together more than mourning the time we have apart. Intellectually acknowledging this is easy, emotionally embracing it - that's the hard part.

Sincerely,

Doug

 

[Woobie]

I always think of this poem in these times. This particular individual really made me think about it. I'll link it instead of posting it, in case someone with raw emotions doesn't feel like reading it.

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44982/richard-cory

 

[churchmouse]

I always think of this poem in these times. This particular individual really made me think about it. I'll link it instead of posting it, in case someone with raw emotions doesn't feel like reading it.

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44982/richard-cory

I can see why you did not post it but it is a good read and emotes thought.

 

[Libertarian01]

I can see why you did not post it but it is a good read and emotes thought.

I told Woobie that I have that poem memorized and it did come to mind.

One of my hobbies from long ago was trying to memorize poems, and other things like the Gettysburg Address. Richard Corey is a good poem.

Here's a short one.

A man said to the universe, "Sir, I exist."

"However," Replied the universe, "That does not create in me a sense of obligation."

That one was easy.

Doug

 

[PGRChaplain]

Doug, Condolences and Prayers to you and all those Left Behind. A good friend of mine took his own life several years ago. He was very successfull and had a Loving family. The Pastor that did his Memorial Service explained it so we could all understand. He had a Terminal Disease, like Cancer, Heart Disease, Organ Failure etc. The Disease is what claimed his life, nothing he did, nothing we can understand. In my role as Chaplain over the past 6 Month's I've attended 3 Funerals for Service/Prior Service members that took their own lives. 22 of these occur per day. If you feel the need to talk send me a PM.

Many Blessings,
Pat