I Need To Vent

[E5RANGER375]

Benny, i dont think alcohol is a problem if you dont see it negatively impacting him. I think every medication I have ever taken for even a stubbed toe hass said dont consume alcohol. when i came back (from the military not from contracting this last year) i was drinking very heavy and partying and it WAS a problem. (thankfully I didnt do something to hurt anyone or myself) i stopped on my own WITH the help of my good buddies. and have never had a problem since in years. i was using it as a crutch stopping was easy when I took pride in myself and realized I should be celebrating the fact I was still alive and needed to honor my friends memories by living a good full life with integrity and honor. i wasnt diagnosed with PTSD, but there are a lot of "assumptions" that people stupidly make on their own regarding PTSD. so for the record people of INGO ... just because a vet has PTSD he isnt gonna flip out and kill baby rabbits. its sad that people in business and in public automatically make that jump. And just because a vet has PTSD it doesnt mean they are weak. and just because someone is a vet it doesnt mean they have PTSD. stop hatin' america!!! WE DID IT FOR YOU!

Benny you know your buddy, and it sounds like he is a good dude just like you. good people must stick together so the evil *****es in life dont tear us apart. +1 to you benny for being a true friend and not jumping to false conclusions when it comes to a guy you know better than anyone! thank you buddy for his service too, and if he needs anything dont hesitate to hit me up.

 

[gunowner930]

+1 Benny for caring for your friend as you are. Obviously you know him much better than anyone responding in this thread, so its difficult to give any meaningful advice that somebody hasn't already said.

society loves to forget about our broken soldiers. no one wants to talk about it or deal with it, they want perfect heros. broken heros dont make for good news stories

^I love this quote.

 

[Rookie]

My advice, encourage him to focus on what he can fix in his life (we all have room for improvement). If he is willing to do that then all the other things won't seem as big of an issue.

 

[Big Hank]

First of all, thanks for all of the responses...A lot of them are very similar, so I'll address everyone at the same time sans quotes.

1. I will relay to him that he should not be missing doses.

2. He doesn't drink to get wasted, but he will have a few beers to let loose a bit...I know alcohol is not a medicine, but I don't know how he'll feel about me telling him he shouldn't have 3-4 beers while we're hanging out...Like I said, he's not wasted or droopy-eyed when he has a few, but it seems to relax him a bit and he has more fun.

Man, I really hate that alcohol is the topic right now, because it isn't the issue...I'd know if he was drinking to "fix" his problems and he most certainly is not.

3. We've been shooting several times and his PTSD hasn't been a problem. We both have a blast and he's taught me a thing or three.

However, he isn't suicidal but due to his condition he doesn't feel comfortable owning a gun right now, so his only firearms time is with me. I know this guy better than anyone else in the world, so I'm quite sure I'd know before we got to the range if it was a bad idea or not.

I don't think people are against beer in general. It's with him not understanding how his meds work. The alchohol changes the chemical structure of the meds, and changes the chemical mix in his head. I think it's the people here know those are a different type of med. Some meds up the immune system, some vitamins are like burning good fuel for the body... BUT, BUT, and BUT! The meds he uses now are made to change chemical balances. And very importantly that he understands. These meds used properly help calm his mind. Once his mind is calm he can then work on his stressful topics, either on his own, or with you, or a psychiatrist. In automotive terms, normal medicine is like and octane booster, or a tune up. His meds are like flashing the computer system. You don't reprogram half a computer. Sorry for the dumb reference, my buddy who uses these types of meds used this one on me.

I know he doesn't know any of us, but him reading this and knowing a bunch of gun loving Hoosiers are on his side and mutually all seem to share the same advise may help him out. Heck, I bet without INGO lots of guys wouldn't be as stable as we are

Again, good luck!

 

[rambone]

I mean this in a compassionate way, but meds are not for everyone. Sometimes they can worsen the symptoms. Sometimes they can magnify the suicidal, maybe homicidal tendencies.

I posted this thread a while ago. Didn't get much attention. The scary statistic was that 1/5 soldiers are put on meds, and more soldiers have killed themselves than are actually killed in battle.

Military's drug policy threatens troops' health, doctors say

 

[ihateiraq]

i was in a similar situation last year. i found the cure to be hardcore boozing and random acts of debauchery. only recently have i cut back the dosage.

 

[beararms1776]

So to say I'm pissed about his ex putting him through more of this **** is the understatement of the year.

Some women are just pure evil x 1000. They do some inhumane things with their kids and to people.
I really hope your friend gets better and try to ignore the childish jealousy games. He's obviously a tuff character being a war vet. He can do it.

 

[Roadie]

Nothing really to add that other people havent said..

Just thank him for his Service for me

 

[Benny]

I nonchalantly brought up the topic of his meds w/ alcohol again(so not to sound like his big brother) and he said one of the meds he's on he takes once a day in the morning and that's the one that builds up in his system to fight the depression. The other pill he's allowed to take up to 3 times a day, but the Dr. told him he can just take it if he feels a panic attack coming on...That's the one he skips if he thinks he'll be having a few.

i was using it as a crutch stopping was easy when I took pride in myself and realized I should be celebrating the fact I was still alive and needed to honor my friends memories by living a good full life with integrity and honor. i wasnt diagnosed with PTSD, but there are a lot of "assumptions" that people stupidly make on their own regarding PTSD. so for the record people of INGO ... just because a vet has PTSD he isnt gonna flip out and kill baby rabbits. its sad that people in business and in public automatically make that jump. And just because a vet has PTSD it doesnt mean they are weak. and just because someone is a vet it doesnt mean they have PTSD. stop hatin' america!!! WE DID IT FOR YOU!

First off, good post.

Jeremy isn't using it as a crutch. He drinks socially and while I'd be lying if I said I've lost track of the amount of times we've been drunk together over the years, it's still not a "problem" whatsoever...BTW, he hasn't been drunk since on the meds.

As far as PTSD, Jeremy wouldn't harm a fly unless you put an AR or SAW in his hand, shipped him to a foreign country and said "go fight the bad guys." I also don't believe he'd ever harm himself either...He has too much to live for and he knows it.

Benny you know your buddy, and it sounds like he is a good dude just like you. good people must stick together so the evil *****es in life dont tear us apart. +1 to you benny for being a true friend and not jumping to false conclusions when it comes to a guy you know better than anyone! thank you buddy for his service too, and if he needs anything dont hesitate to hit me up.

He's a great dude...He might as well be my brother(despite him being a few months older, he's like my younger brother.) His kids call me Uncle Ben and my kid calls him Uncle Jeremy.

When they were married, they always fought and she was better at arguing, so I would constantly have to tell him things to say in order to put her back in her place(he asked, I didn't just offer to create more drama)...All he wanted was to be fair about everything and fair wasn't in her vocabulary.

Their divorce was best for all 5 of them, but all this extra bull**** just pisses me off.

 

[beararms1776]

Their divorce was best for all 5 of them, but all this extra bull**** just pisses me off.

It pisses me off to know that this man fought to have someone to treat him this way. Some people just aren't worth dyin for.

 

[Bapak2ja]

Benny,

I have no military experience. I graduated high school in 1969 and got a student deferment from the draft for 1970. I lost the deferment because of poor grades and was 1A in 1971, but I got a high lottery number so I was not called up. Since I was out of it except for a national emergency, I got serious about college and career. So, no military.

I have not been divorced. I married a girl I knew from childhood and we are in our 38th year. Raised three kids—best kids a dad ever had. Solid, dependable, honest. So, I do not share that personal experience with your friend and many others who have posted here.

I have lived and worked in over a dozen nations, and been in the middle of tribal wars that involved taking heads, posting the heads as trophies, and cannibalism. One man, a teacher at the school I administered in Borneo, came to me for help after one of these tribal wars. He had been unable to sleep for over a week. He would fall asleep, but the nightmares of what he had done would jerk him awake after mere minutes. He was having trouble teaching his classes, and I was already concerned; so I was glad when he came to me. He needed help.

He had joined the men in his home village in an attack on an enemy village—it was a racial/tribal thing. The fighting was all with machetes; firearms were available only to the police and military—or the village blacksmiths who made their own muskets and powder. Like his colleagues, he got liquored up with his crew and went on the warpath. The men of the village defended home, hearth and family, just as we would do, but my teacher and his crew prevailed. After fierce fighting, the "enemy" was driven into the jungle, the village burned to the ground. He personally hacked up several and joined in eating their hearts and livers. I could understand why he could not sleep!

There were no meds available to help him. No counseling centers. I could only offer him the peace and healing that comes from knowing his Creator. I helped him understand that his life had meaning and purpose beyond his warrior experience. I helped him find peace with his Creator in the knowledge that someone else had already atoned for his evil deeds. The peace and knowledge brought healing to his mind. He was able to sleep. He returned to normal life. He married and started a family. Last I knew of him, his wife and kids were safe—well fed and well housed; his career as an educator was developing well. His life was "normal."

I do not mean to imply in anyway that your friend committed any kind of crime or atrocity. You stated he is a good man and was a good soldier. I assume that means he did his duty and fought within the rules of engagement. I am assuming he is one of our national heroes. But even the good guys have problems coming home safe and whole. They often have "survivor's guilt" and nightmares from things seen, done and remembered—things that are approved as successful warfare. But even our heroes need healing as they stand down from defending us.

I share this only to encourage you to help your friend find that link with his Creator. Your friend needs to understand what has happened in his life. Such understanding comes from knowing who he really is, why he is here, and where he is going. In short, he needs to know the purpose for which he was created and sent into this world. This knowledge will bring healing at the deepest level of his being, peace to his mind, and purpose for living. It will give him greater strength to deal with that foolish woman, and to be the strong but gentle father to his children desperately need in our narcissistic nation and culture. This peace will last longer than the pills, the beer, or even your calming advice and jocularity.

There are a number of INGO members who can help with finding that link—Que, Redneckmedic, Roadie, WLW, Sadclownwp are a few that I think can help. I am sure there are others.

As Red, from the Red Green Show, would say, "We're pulling for you. We're all in this together."

 

[Benny]

It pisses me off to know that this man fought to have someone to treat him this way. Some people just aren't worth dyin for.

Yeah, try being his best friend and confidant...I'm not even going to get into what she has did while he was fighting overseas for us.



bapak2ja, fantastic post and reps inbound.

 

[snowman46919]

Keeping him busy and waiting for him to talk it out is awesome. Eventually though it will have to come to a head and simply just keeping busy to avoid it won't work anymore. Be prepared for that day as best as you can along with everything else your doing and I think you got it under control.

 

[cbseniour]

ex wifes and ex girlfriends are the most vengeful creatures in the world and don't let up.
good luck to your buddy.

 

[Bunnykid68]

You and your buddy are officially invited over for beer and burgers. Seriously, you are.

 

[snowman46919]

When your done with that come to my place for fishing

 

[Bunnykid68]

When your done with that come to my place for fishing

That's a good little drive from where we are at I think

 

[snowman46919]

That's a good little drive from where we are at I think

would do pretty good to keep minds off more troubling things though wouldn't it

 

[Bunnykid68]

would do pretty good to keep minds off more troubling things though wouldn't it

Good point, I'm in.

 

[USMC_0311]

When our ship got back from the med a squad member had his wife waiting at the dock for him. Problem was she brought her new boy friend with her. WTF was she thinking? Yea After you decide to break up you should stop thinking about yourself