Im sick of the yelling & im just done

[55fairlane]

The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to... book by Harriet Lerner

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Read this a long time ago to understand a toxic relationship that I was in. It helped me figure out the motivation behind her behavior and gave me options on how to respond in healthy ways. At one point, I asked her if she would be interested in reading a book about cycles of anger? She replied that she did not have a problem, everyone else was the problem. She never knew that I had alredy read the book, when I asked the question. We soon parted ways.

I can also highly recommend going to counseling to understand and change your situation. Even if she does not, it will help you deal with the underlying issues that add to the tension and how to mitigate it.

My wife recognizes she has some issues , as well do I. Its more then anger or different but comes out as anger. Her ex husband beat on her and did some awful things in her life.....her mother was mentally ill as well. We both have things to work thru.

 

[55fairlane]

I love my wife, she is amazing and I’m the problem!
Dealt with a similar situation, it cause a lot of resentment. My wife didn’t do the temper tantrums, but she had her ways. I was miserable, still am a lot.

I ended up going to therapy at a low point. As much as I hate to admit it, it’s actually working. It took a while before I started noticing differences in myself. Even some obvious things like what I was feeling was in fact undiagnosed ptsd, with severe depression and anxiety, add in a sprinkle of adhd and voilà. It turns out I was a big part of the problem. She definitely had work to do herself, but it takes 2 to tango. I projected a lot on to her. I have a reading list a country mile long I can recommend.

TLDR; a little introspection goes a long way.
A little therapy goes as far as you let it.


Good luck and prayers to you friend.

Sounds a lot like our situation, I have issues as well. I am part of the problem and I know it, and it is had to take a step back instead of engaging in more arguments.
And reading you offer will be looked in to.
Thank you for the prayers.