Lending and Borrowing Items

[ScouT6a]

When I was a kid growing up, my father had some advice about borrowing things. 1) Before borrowing, consider the worst case scenario of what you would do if the item got damaged beyond repair or even stolen. 2) Try to give the item back in better condition than when you borrowed it. (Clean it, sharpen it, fill it with gas, fresh coat of paint, etcetera)
So I loaned a lawn roller to a family member. It is the kind that you fill with water for weight. I always used it and then drained it when done. Simple.
I hauled the roller to the guy. He had it for far too long and didn't return it. So today I thought enough is enough and went to retrieve it. As I am loading the roller, I discovered that he had left a considerable amount of water in it for who knows how long and it has several small holes rusted through. I mention this as I am loading it up. No "I'm sorry", "my bad", nothing. So I come home and weld up half a dozen holes, fill it and try to use it and find three more holes.
Same guy borrowed a pole pruner several years ago and broke it too.
The next time the guy asks to borrow something do I politely say, "No" or do I bring up the reasons why I am saying "No"?

 

[Lectric102002]

My Dad had different advice: " Neither a borrower nor a lender be."

 

[GodFearinGunTotin]

Scout6A, at the very least, I'd never loan my stuff to the guy(s) that have proven they won't care for your stuff. Like you, I was always taught to return something better than it was when I borrowed it. A few months ago, I decided to redo the floor in my hallway bath with tile. A friend of mine has a very nice Dewalt tile saw...a very nice system. He let me borrow it and was shocked when I returned it to him looking almost brand-new. (It was pretty dirty when I got it). He asked me why I did that. Apparently, that philosophy on returning items is not widely taught anymore.

 

[mom45]

I would just say no and if he asks why, explain that due to items being returned in damaged condition, you are no longer wiling to loan your tools, etc. out to anyone including family. We have had to do this and people no longer ask to borrow things. It is nice not to have to worry about whether or not it will be returned in usable condition or if it will be returned at all.

 

[ziggy]

If that guy wants to borrow something again, I would politely suggest that he try a local tool rental place. Don't bother with an explanation. He should be able to take a hint. If he is too stupid to get the hint, then he is obviously too stupid to take care of what he borrows. If he actually asks why, then tell him. You do not need friends like that.

 

[ScouT6a]

Ziggy, sad to say, he is family, not just a friend.

 

[GodFearinGunTotin]

Ziggy, sad to say, he is family, not just a friend.

It may be time for little, white lies then. "It's broken"; "A buddy from work has it right now"; "I've got a project I'm going to be starting on this weekend"; etc.

 

[mrjarrell]

Just tell him the truth about why you're not going to lend anything to him. Tell him if it's critical he can place a deposit down on it, (if no doesn't really mean no to you).

 

[igotdiesel2]

I have a part time grass cutting/lawn maintenance business so anything lawn related (anything with a engine or tires) is out of the question to borrow from me. More than likely if you ask me to borrow it I will come do the job for you and be on my way with my tools the same way they were when I got there. Other tools, hand, power etc just depends on who. I will loan NOTHING to my one Brother in Law. He has no concept of taking care of anything that isn't his and a lot of times doesn't even take care of his own stuff. -Jason

 

[looney2ns]

Sorry, I don't own one of those widgets.

 

[WebSnyper]

Personally, he'd have to do some serious work to track me down to even ask at this point. Phone call, I'm not answering. Show up at my house, probably not answering the door. If the only reason he shows up is to borrow something, and then doesn't take care of it... one less friend/relative in the circle of trust.

 

[MCgrease08]

You guys are all too nice. If it were me I'd certainly let him know that I didn't appreciate the condition the item was in once I got it back home. I'd also tell him flat out I won't be lending him any more tools until he can prove he knows how to take care of them and return them promptly.

I don't have time to waste trying to avoid somebody just so I don't have to have an unpleasant conversation.

Just be up front about it now and save yourself the headache later.

 

[KJQ6945]

I only loan stuff to GFGT, and the OP. I have a tractor that needs a paint job if either of you want to borrow it.

 

[Kurr]

Start asking "Am I being detained?!?" while pulling out your smartphone to film the conversation, then "I do not answer questions" followed with "I do not consent to any search or seizure "" and maybe throw in a "I am not saying anything else till Kirk Freeman is present".

People tend to leave crazy alone and not borrow their stuff.

 

[churchmouse]

When I was a kid growing up, my father had some advice about borrowing things. 1) Before borrowing, consider the worst case scenario of what you would do if the item got damaged beyond repair or even stolen. 2) Try to give the item back in better condition than when you borrowed it. (Clean it, sharpen it, fill it with gas, fresh coat of paint, etcetera)
So I loaned a lawn roller to a family member. It is the kind that you fill with water for weight. I always used it and then drained it when done. Simple.
I hauled the roller to the guy. He had it for far too long and didn't return it. So today I thought enough is enough and went to retrieve it. As I am loading the roller, I discovered that he had left a considerable amount of water in it for who knows how long and it has several small holes rusted through. I mention this as I am loading it up. No "I'm sorry", "my bad", nothing. So I come home and weld up half a dozen holes, fill it and try to use it and find three more holes.
Same guy borrowed a pole pruner several years ago and broke it too.
The next time the guy asks to borrow something do I politely say, "No" or do I bring up the reasons why I am saying "No"?

I use the polite approach on the 1st no, I do not think so. 2nd time I have to say no (and there is always a 2nd time) I will explain how much money time and effort being a good person has cost me over the years.
The tool crib is closed except to those few that observe the "Bring it back clean, full and ready to roll" rule of borrowing.
I loaned my upper clamp to a shooting friend. Not an ingo member. That was mid summer. I have sent a few text with the "Next time I am out your way" reply. Last week I needed it and of course it is not back here yet. Sent a text and got the "I will have to find that and get it to you" reply. I called and no answer. 20 minutes later I am knocking at his door. He looks nervous as I tell him I need my tool so please find it and put it in my hand. He finally admit he loaned it to someone else and they have moved. So he loaned out my tool to someone I do not know.
I have his 3/8" socket set in my shop on the bench. He gets it back when I get a new clamp tool. It was that or..............well...............you know.

 

[churchmouse]

Scout6A, at the very least, I'd never loan my stuff to the guy(s) that have proven they won't care for your stuff. Like you, I was always taught to return something better than it was when I borrowed it. A few months ago, I decided to redo the floor in my hallway bath with tile. A friend of mine has a very nice Dewalt tile saw...a very nice system. He let me borrow it and was shocked when I returned it to him looking almost brand-new. (It was pretty dirty when I got it). He asked me why I did that. Apparently, that philosophy on returning items is not widely taught anymore.

It is not.

 

[Gluemanz28]

I'm with igotdiesel2. I will go and do the job for them instead of loaning my tools. I'm not a borrower either. I don't like to risk breaking the item and having to buy a new one for them and still not have one of my own. I have things that I only use every five years but when I need it I have it.

I would just be honest with him and let him know that you can't trust that he will take care of your item. Skirting the issue could give him bad vibes that that will do more harm than good. My Grandmother always said that the truth will stand if the world was on fire. Not exactly sure what that means exactly but telling or hearing the truth may not always be easy, but is the best way.

 

[Dirtebiker]

I use the polite approach on the 1st no, I do not think so. 2nd time I have to say no (and there is always a 2nd time) I will explain how much money time and effort being a good person has cost me over the years.
The tool crib is closed except to those few that observe the "Bring it back clean, full and ready to roll" rule of borrowing.
I loaned my upper clamp to a shooting friend. Not an ingo member. That was mid summer. I have sent a few text with the "Next time I am out your way" reply. Last week I needed it and of course it is not back here yet. Sent a text and got the "I will have to find that and get it to you" reply. I called and no answer. 20 minutes later I am knocking at his door. He looks nervous as I tell him I need my tool so please find it and put it in my hand. He finally admit he loaned it to someone else and they have moved. So he loaned out my tool to someone I do not know.
I have his 3/8" socket set in my shop on the bench. He gets it back when I get a new clamp tool. It was that or..............well...............you know.

Bully time!!!

 

[churchmouse]

Bully time!!!

IKR....................

He was seriously confused why I picked up the socket set. He knows how to get it back.

 

[Slawburger]

Scout6A, at the very least, I'd never loan my stuff to the guy(s) that have proven they won't care for your stuff. Like you, I was always taught to return something better than it was when I borrowed it. A few months ago, I decided to redo the floor in my hallway bath with tile. A friend of mine has a very nice Dewalt tile saw...a very nice system. He let me borrow it and was shocked when I returned it to him looking almost brand-new. (It was pretty dirty when I got it). He asked me why I did that. Apparently, that philosophy on returning items is not widely taught anymore.

My dad used to borrow broken items and return them in working order. e.g. "If I fix your broken backhoe can I use it for a few days?" He always returned items in better condition than he received them. That is just the way to operate.