A long read but well worth your time.
This is a response to a woman whose new husband is an avid CCW guy and she is totally new to being around firearms.
Many thanks goes to Spanky and his crew for some honest thought on firearms and self defense.
~ (Turn Key)
Spanky’s response:
A gun on you at all times becomes a comforting thing. Not so much in that you know you can face a problem if needed but in that, if a problem presents itself you know you can, at that point, protect yourself or your loved ones. A firearm does you no good if it's unloaded or not on you. We often preach the saying "better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it" and it's become a bit cliché but it's far too true to overlook. Another equally over-used but applicable one is "When seconds count, the police are minutes away."
As far as a 3 year old, I can relate 100% as we have a 4 year old and another on the way very soon. Two things that you should keep in mind here. If the gun is on your fiancée’s person then the child cannot get to it. Secondly, while it is not on his person you will want to keep it secured and out of reach. There are several companies that make bedside single gun safes that are very quick opening. Also, education goes a long way. Teach your child that guns are not to be touched, handled, etc without express permission. Don't scare the children or tell them not to ever touch it, etc because, well, I'm sure you know what curiosity does.
Your fiancée' has taken it upon himself to protect him, you, your family, his loved ones, etc. He realized that this is his duty. If you feel as though it's not, try taking a look at police response times in your area. Also, look up Warren v. D.C. (hot linked for convenience). It's very eye opening. Nine times out of ten the police will not be there in time. Whether they are 2 minutes away or 5 minutes away or 30 minutes away, a minute is a long time. You should feel proud that he has taken it upon himself to take responsibility for those who he loves instead of feeling as though he should hand his lives over to police and, potentially, a cold blooded killer. As far as the "safe part of town" thing, well, that's hard to address because I can see it from your point of view but, at the same time, how on Earth are you going to know when you're going to need it? This goes back to the above statement about needing it and not having it.
As far as criminals taking guns, etc, etc, if he is carrying it concealed and he is practicing as he should be (maybe have him take a training class (and you, yourself, would benefit from one as well), the only time anyone will know he has a gun is when he is in the process of using it and, unless there are close quarters fighting and/or retention issues, that gun isn't going to be taken from him. That is a real possibility though and, as such, training and practice is the key.
Are you a *retch* for asking him not to carry it? No. You have some concerns that need to be addressed and that's what we're here for. Should not stop him or have his carrying affect your relationship? That's a personal choice but, in my opinion, that should be a strong no for the aforementioned reasons.
There are many people on this forum who will chime in, some men and some women. Some carry every second of the day (when feasible) and some only do it occasionally. The commonality here is that most people in the firearms and self defense aware community realize that the safety of their loved ones and themselves is in their hands.
I will add....
Do you only bring your spare tire along when you think you might really have a flat?
Do you fear that your house will catch on fire only because you have batteries in your detector?
Is your cell phone only turned on when you need to make a call, or do you keep it on incase a call comes in for you?
It is a matter of being prepared to handle a situation. teh gun is a tool. It gives you options, just like a flashlight, credit card, or cell phone. Tools that help you deal with life.
I think Spanky did an excellent job of addressing the child issue.
Tell you what, I am not sure where you are located, but I invite you to come to one of my Concealed Handgun classes free of charge. I think it will be an eye opening experience for you given some of the material specifically covered in my class.
To sum it up...if he is a person of rational mind, who is responsible, you have nothing to worry about on a daily basis as far as him carrying is concerned. If he is not, then you may be engaged to the wrong person anyway.
Most people who carry handguns do not think they will need them, but they have it just in case they do. We should never underestimate Free Will, or assume that we know the human mind. A person can just decide, randomly, to break in to your house and to kill your family...it’s just the randomness of life. Just like someone can randomly give a stranger a gift.
Many of us see guns as Tools, just like a Flashlight, or a Hammer.
If you accept him, accept what he does...and if he accepts you, so should he accept what you do.
I carry every day, everywhere, but I have great faith in humanity as a whole...I just know that not everyone shares this view and people can do what they want when they want, in the end.
Are you a *retch*? It doesn’t seem like it. Are your concerns valid? It's healthy to question things in life, but in the end I do not think that he is unreasonable. Validity is something that you will have to decide.
If he is responsible then your daughter should be in no more danger in any way.
If he gets drunk and still carries...that is a red flag. That would be a good enough reason to ask him not to carry, other than that...well, I wouldn’t stop.
I don’t like make up on a girl, but no girl has ever stopped wearing it for me...remember, a gun is a tool to many of us...make up is a tool as well. People must be willing participants, and sometimes we just want to feel good.
This is a response to a woman whose new husband is an avid CCW guy and she is totally new to being around firearms.
Many thanks goes to Spanky and his crew for some honest thought on firearms and self defense.
~ (Turn Key)
Spanky’s response:
A gun on you at all times becomes a comforting thing. Not so much in that you know you can face a problem if needed but in that, if a problem presents itself you know you can, at that point, protect yourself or your loved ones. A firearm does you no good if it's unloaded or not on you. We often preach the saying "better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it" and it's become a bit cliché but it's far too true to overlook. Another equally over-used but applicable one is "When seconds count, the police are minutes away."
As far as a 3 year old, I can relate 100% as we have a 4 year old and another on the way very soon. Two things that you should keep in mind here. If the gun is on your fiancée’s person then the child cannot get to it. Secondly, while it is not on his person you will want to keep it secured and out of reach. There are several companies that make bedside single gun safes that are very quick opening. Also, education goes a long way. Teach your child that guns are not to be touched, handled, etc without express permission. Don't scare the children or tell them not to ever touch it, etc because, well, I'm sure you know what curiosity does.
Your fiancée' has taken it upon himself to protect him, you, your family, his loved ones, etc. He realized that this is his duty. If you feel as though it's not, try taking a look at police response times in your area. Also, look up Warren v. D.C. (hot linked for convenience). It's very eye opening. Nine times out of ten the police will not be there in time. Whether they are 2 minutes away or 5 minutes away or 30 minutes away, a minute is a long time. You should feel proud that he has taken it upon himself to take responsibility for those who he loves instead of feeling as though he should hand his lives over to police and, potentially, a cold blooded killer. As far as the "safe part of town" thing, well, that's hard to address because I can see it from your point of view but, at the same time, how on Earth are you going to know when you're going to need it? This goes back to the above statement about needing it and not having it.
As far as criminals taking guns, etc, etc, if he is carrying it concealed and he is practicing as he should be (maybe have him take a training class (and you, yourself, would benefit from one as well), the only time anyone will know he has a gun is when he is in the process of using it and, unless there are close quarters fighting and/or retention issues, that gun isn't going to be taken from him. That is a real possibility though and, as such, training and practice is the key.
Are you a *retch* for asking him not to carry it? No. You have some concerns that need to be addressed and that's what we're here for. Should not stop him or have his carrying affect your relationship? That's a personal choice but, in my opinion, that should be a strong no for the aforementioned reasons.
There are many people on this forum who will chime in, some men and some women. Some carry every second of the day (when feasible) and some only do it occasionally. The commonality here is that most people in the firearms and self defense aware community realize that the safety of their loved ones and themselves is in their hands.
I will add....
Do you only bring your spare tire along when you think you might really have a flat?
Do you fear that your house will catch on fire only because you have batteries in your detector?
Is your cell phone only turned on when you need to make a call, or do you keep it on incase a call comes in for you?
It is a matter of being prepared to handle a situation. teh gun is a tool. It gives you options, just like a flashlight, credit card, or cell phone. Tools that help you deal with life.
I think Spanky did an excellent job of addressing the child issue.
Tell you what, I am not sure where you are located, but I invite you to come to one of my Concealed Handgun classes free of charge. I think it will be an eye opening experience for you given some of the material specifically covered in my class.
To sum it up...if he is a person of rational mind, who is responsible, you have nothing to worry about on a daily basis as far as him carrying is concerned. If he is not, then you may be engaged to the wrong person anyway.
Most people who carry handguns do not think they will need them, but they have it just in case they do. We should never underestimate Free Will, or assume that we know the human mind. A person can just decide, randomly, to break in to your house and to kill your family...it’s just the randomness of life. Just like someone can randomly give a stranger a gift.
Many of us see guns as Tools, just like a Flashlight, or a Hammer.
If you accept him, accept what he does...and if he accepts you, so should he accept what you do.
I carry every day, everywhere, but I have great faith in humanity as a whole...I just know that not everyone shares this view and people can do what they want when they want, in the end.
Are you a *retch*? It doesn’t seem like it. Are your concerns valid? It's healthy to question things in life, but in the end I do not think that he is unreasonable. Validity is something that you will have to decide.
If he is responsible then your daughter should be in no more danger in any way.
If he gets drunk and still carries...that is a red flag. That would be a good enough reason to ask him not to carry, other than that...well, I wouldn’t stop.
I don’t like make up on a girl, but no girl has ever stopped wearing it for me...remember, a gun is a tool to many of us...make up is a tool as well. People must be willing participants, and sometimes we just want to feel good.
Last edited:
to OP!
Great read! Thanks for sharing
