need help

[causerofwait]

I have been asked by my mom to not carry when I am at her house. This morning I sent her the article by Robert Boatman "The Constitutional Right and Social Obligation to Carry a Gun". She promised that she would read it but hasn't yet. I received this request as an email reply from her after sending her the article. Last night I verbally shared with her that I had my gun on me the previous Saturday when I was at her lake house. I told her I had been carrying because I never expected that she would ask me not too. I was commenting to her how lucky I was that none of my VERY anti-gun aunts had noticed and therefore I avoided a huge issue/argument with them (I probably would have been asked to stay at least 100yds away from them and their children ). Anyway, I have a response to her that I would like some opinions on before I send it too her. She has told me many times that she understands why I carry and she respects my decision to do so, she just asked that I leave it in the car when I get to her house. From her email:

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But I've been thinking of your comparison of carrying your gun 24 /7 to the seat belt scenario that you gave to me - I understand the concept of 6 blocks or 6 miles, etc. (anything can happen anytime) ... but at some point, we do take our seat belt off.
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My reply follows:

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If that is your wish I will honor it. I am curious why, but I don't need you to tell me why for me to respect your wishes. There is a reason I conceal carry, namely so that no one knows that I have a gun. I'm hoping to keep it that way. I would like to ask you to not tell anyone that I carry it or that you have asked me to not carry it at your house. I would probably be asked by many members of our family to do the same as you have asked when in reality I could have it on me and no one would even know, like no one knew I was carrying when I was at your house on Saturday. I have put great care and thought in making sure that I have a very safe, very reliable gun and also a very safe way to carry it. The holster guards the trigger of my gun and the gun fits tightly in the holster. The trigger can't be snagged on a branch or chair or pulled by someone hugging me or a child grabbing at my waist.
And maybe the seat belt analogy isn't the best. You are right that at some point you take it off and it isn't necessary. I don't feel that anyone knows for sure when a gun might be necessary. I don't think of this as being paranoid, just prepared. As an example, did the people sitting in church when one of the many church shootings happened think that during mass was an appropriate time to leave the gun in their car?

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Please be honest with your thoughts. I am trying to be respectful but also stand my ground and maybe educate her as to why I intend to carry 24/7. I WILL honor her wishes and leave it locked in the car when I go unless she tells me otherwise so we can skip the "it's called concealed carry for a reason" stuff.
Thanks, I look forward to your responses.

 

[redneckmedic]

Is your mother willing to end a part of her relationship with her son of this issue? ....Are you?

Concealed means Concealed......... (sorry had to do it)

You can lead a horse to water...you can show him how cool and refreshing it is... you can use pie charts to show the benefits of hydration, you can even drink in front of him..... but you can't make him drink.

 

[tskin]

It looks like you might have some tough decisions ahead of you. I don't know how often you visit her house, but if it were me - I'd make a point of not visiting as often. I'd cut back enough that she wouldn't be able to help but notice. Maybe she'll figure out that she'd like to see you more often and therefore let you conceal carry in her house. Best of luck.

 

[redneckmedic]

Don't miss the most important lesson hear....its not The 2nd Amen..... its not whose right or wrong... it the fact that your an American Third not first. 1)God, 2)Family 3) Country. The 5th commandment over rules the 2nd Amen.....Eph. 6:2 – "Honor thy father and mother".

Sorry Man can't argue with God's Law no matter how strong your passion to carry is.

 

[Rookie]

I agree with you completely medic. Honoring your parents is important, but so is standing by your own convictions. My parents raised me to stand by my convictions, even if they aren't popular. Personally, if my parents asked me not to carry at their house, we would meet elsewhere.

My sister HATES guns. She doesn't see any need for them, thinks they are the devil, etc. As much as she hates guns, she has never asked me not to bring a gun into her house. The reason is: she knows what my convictions are and that I will stand by them. Me and the gun, or none at all. Like I've explained to my kids: my gun is no different than my cell phone or wallet. It is a tool that I have on me to use if absolutely necessary.

Causerofwait - you don't need to educate her. Explain to her that you will stand by your convictions. I'm sure that there has been more than one time that you were not convinced of your mother's actions, but you supported her. I don't think it would be too much to ask the same of her.

 

[causerofwait]

Thanks for the replies. It's nice to see a balance of respect vs rights/convictions. I really don't go there too often, maybe a few times a year so it isn't a huge deal. She knows I carry and has even told me that she thinks it's important that I do, which is kind of why I was taken by surprise by her request. I told her that if she wanted to continue having discussions on the topic that I would be happy to do so but if she wanted to drop it that I would just respect her wishes. My aunts, on the other hand, I would probably decline invites in the future if they had problems with my cc'ing.
It is interesting to me, now that I carry, to see just how many places I can't go while carrying or how many times I have to worry/think about the consequences of carrying, be they legal or respectful. It's starting to feel like I can only protect myself when I'm at places X, Y, and Z but not when I'm at A, B, C, D, E, F and G. Doesn't seem like the way it was intended or the way that it should be, I don't know...blah blah

Thanks again!

 

[SavageEagle]

I feel your pain man. Only I live with mine. We've just come to a ceasefire on the matter, so to speak. She makes me keep it coverd or concealed, and all discussions about guns are moot. She won't hear of it. I did disrespect her by not letting her know at first, but when my loud mouthed inbred neighbors opened their mouths she found out. It was a battle for a couple months, but she's sorta ok with it and is coming around slowly.

Good luck brother. I know it's frustrating out there.

 

[millsusaf]

Snip....

It is interesting to me, now that I carry, to see just how many places I can't go while carrying or how many times I have to worry/think about the consequences of carrying, be they legal or respectful. It's starting to feel like I can only protect myself when I'm at places X, Y, and Z but not when I'm at A, B, C, D, E, F and G. Doesn't seem like the way it was intended or the way that it should be, I don't know...blah blah

Thanks again!

You know all too often I feel the same way. It's ridiculas that it has to be that way. To be legal I now have to plan my trips everywhere a lot more carefully and god forbid I am OCing when I need to go to the Post Office to get a damn stamp.

I think you stand your ground. Tell her you respect her wishes but you have your own convictions as well. She seems like a reasonable woman. I think her conflicting statements are based on her not wanting there to be an issue with the aunts at the family function. I think CC is an excellent compromise on both of your parts.

My

 

[sloughfoot]

Tough deal. I think I would say, Love you Mom, whatever you want.....

On my next birthday, I only want one thing. I want you to go with me to shoot this cool 22 rifle that I have. It will be just you and me and we will have fun together and afterwards you can buy me ice cream.

Just a guess what I might say, like the others say, you cannot go against your mother in her house......

 

[smhall3212]

help

As my mother used to say "it's my house and my rules" then when I was 18 I moved out and still when i goto her house she still has her rules. If you dont go there every day then this shouldnt be a issue just put it up for a few hours the governmet has the main rules set and give you or your mother in this case to set your own rules in your home, if you dont like the rules tell her to come to your house.

 

[chasekerion4]

I agree with sloughfoot... It IS her house, and that's the end of the story. Plead your caser and make your points, but ultimately, I would respect her wishes.

I lost my mother to cancer on Christmas Eve, 2007. For those of you who haven't lost a parent, I say this:

Don't let this be an issue. Don't visit less often. Don't even try to "sneak it in" without her knowing. Respect her wishes in her home and enjoy what little time on earth you have with your family. Gun or no gun, rights or not rights, paranoia or preparedness, she's your mother and if it makes her uncomfortable, so be it. But keep visiting your mother and like has been said already "honor thy mother and father"

That's my

 

[sloughfoot]

Awesome post chasekerion4. You said it so much better than anyone here.

I am sorry for your loss.

 

[cce1302]

You know all too often I feel the same way. It's ridiculas that it has to be that way. To be legal I now have to plan my trips everywhere a lot more carefully and god forbid I am OCing when I need to go to the Post Office to get a damn stamp.

You know you can buy stamps at a lot of grocery stores?

I think you stand your ground. Tell her you respect her wishes but you have your own convictions as well. She seems like a reasonable woman. I think her conflicting statements are based on her not wanting there to be an issue with the aunts at the family function. I think CC is an excellent compromise on both of your parts.

My

Maybe you could explain to her that since you have the ability and willingness to defend yourself and her, when you are with her you feel obligated to carry your gun for your own protection and for hers. Leaving your gun inaccessible would put you in a position of dereliction of your duty toward her.
When my brother in law asked me (he was inquisitive, not accusatory) why I carry everywhere, I pretty much explained that I had the ability and training to do it, and that I would feel stupid if I got killed when I could have survived the situation if I had been carrying.

 

[misconfig]

I agree with sloughfoot... It IS her house, and that's the end of the story. Plead your caser and make your points, but ultimately, I would respect her wishes.

I lost my mother to cancer on Christmas Eve, 2007. For those of you who haven't lost a parent, I say this:

Don't let this be an issue. Don't visit less often. Don't even try to "sneak it in" without her knowing. Respect her wishes in her home and enjoy what little time on earth you have with your family. Gun or no gun, rights or not rights, paranoia or preparedness, she's your mother and if it makes her uncomfortable, so be it. But keep visiting your mother and like has been said already "honor thy mother and father"

That's my

I'll have to agree with that statement word for word; I lost my mother in 2004, I was 19 she was 38. I'd do anything to be able visit her now; I'd just say respect your mothers wishes in her home, maybe over time she'll realize you've let up on the situation and come to see your points of view.

Until then, carry as you normally would, if she respects your wishes by not notifying other relatives; carry at family functions as long as it's not her home. I'd say that's a pretty good compromise! Just be thankful you can still have scuffles like this with her; cherish and honor your mother.

Best of luck, friend.