Nephew wants to join the Navy?

[darinb]

I was in the Army so maybe some navy vets can help me to help him. First off he has a one year old and has been married for about two years. He is working in a factory now and is bored with it. He also has alot of problems in his marriage. I was in the Army and know the military is not the best place to nurture an already hurting marriage, which is why I advised him to wait a few years and work on a career.
He only knows what the recruiter has told him and both he and his wife really think that they will always have a choice of where they are stationed and he will have a choice of deployment time lengths and of course he is choosing the Navy because he "wont go to war" which is just not true all branches serve and are in harms way IMO. They are also on the verge of bankruptcy and he it will take a couple promotions to make more money than he makes now anyway. I just dont want him to make a wrong choice that he will regret. What should I tell him? What are your thoughts? Thanks and appreciate all vets opinions

 

[target64]

I spent six years in the USN. The divorce rate was near 60 percent. As far as duty station choices,,,,,after basic,and "A" school if he passes...he will probably get a choice. But that was pick one of these three places,,,,not,, well send me here or there. Choice of deployments lengths....lol....lol...lol.....He will serve "AT the Needs of the Navy". Dependant on his "JOB" he will spend months at a time away from home and out to sea....

 

[target64]

Do not get me wrong......the USN was/is a great branch of service. But it has its perks as well as drawbacks.....

 

[usmcdjb]

I wasn't Navy, obviously. OK, part of the department of the Navy - the Men's department! I'm guessing you've already told him everything you can. Nobody could tell me anything when I was younger. And hindsight is always 20/20. He'll see it, years from now.

Just to validate though - 6 month deployments on a ship are hard on families. And I like to say that the military is a single man's game. Not that it can't work. But it's rare. Or takes a good and understanding wife.

Good luck to you, and to your nephew and his family.

 

[kan915]

Target64 is right. any military is hard on a strong marriage. i was single but all the married folks were on their next marriage. if they were recently married, they were happy until that first deployment. i loved the Navy, Assault Craft Unit Two, i stayed deployed by choice. could not have done it while married though. it looks cool from out here, but if you are going to make it with any sanity while married the trust in your spouse had better be iron clad. even so, its a good life, kick myself for not doin 20. on the other hand, (dont want to sound cold here) if things are going down hill for him now, and its not working, cant hurt. if a marriage is truly going to work it shouldnt matter what hes doin or where he is, whats to lose? its all compromise. best of luck to him whatever he chooses. once again, deploy lenghts, choice of duty....yup, what target64 said, there where a lot of disappointed folks over that back in the 70's & 80's also. just my opinion.

 

[SundayShooter]

10 years in the USN. As I like to say " I wouldn't trade my time in the Navy for anything, and I wouldn't do it again for everything".

Depending on his "job" choice in the Navy, it can be easy or difficult. I spent a lot of long hours doing hard work both in port and at sea. The old adage of " Sailors belong on ships, and ships belong at sea" is a true one. Scheduled deployments can be planned for by a family, but the unexpected does occur. Sometimes with some regularity.

I got married after I had been in for 4 years. It lasted 2 years. In that 24 months I spent 17 months at sea. This of course, is not a typical deployment schedule. I was on a Frigate, and small ships get sent a lot of places.

In my time in I did see many people enjoy strong, happy marriages. It really all depends on the personalities involved.

Oh, and by the way, Sailors do "go to war" like any other branch of the military. Perhaps our Marine friends sometimes forget where their Corpsman come from.

 

[grimor]

If he's having problems with his marriage now, he should either get divorced before enlisting or take the extra pay for basic and tech school and get divorced later.. I'd say that's true for any branch, maybe slightly less for the Air Force. Being in the military is a strain on even a strong marriage especially at the beginning when you and your wife are moving multiple times in a short period of time, and not always to the same place as your spouse...

That being said, the military is a good choice for a lot of people. The basics are generally provided for you. Housing, food, medical, etc... so the money you make is easy to get out of debt if you have discipline. A lot of E1 - E4/5 seem to not have that discipline and many 1 term people come out a lot more in debt than they went in.

I'm in the Air Force, and I have not been in any other branch. The people that I've talked to in other branches and who have came over to the Air Force generally agree that the Air Force is easier on families and generally a higher standard of living. This all depends on the job though. The navy has the second highest standard of living, but you may be gone on a ship 6+ months of the year.

 

[Fishersjohn48]

My nephew has been in the Navy about 4 years. He called me Christmas morning from Baghdad yes Navy men do go to war.

 

[DocBoCook]

I was the best of both worlds. US Navy Corpsman. Served green and blue side. choosing where he is stationed, maybe which coast! But be prepared to stay on that coast forever, unless he wants to stay there, then don't let the detailer know or it seems that's the only way to leave that coast. Navy was good to me for 12yrs. But it is DEFINITELY NOT the place to try and fix a relationship. Recruiters lie. If he has specific questions, PM Me.